Any1 notice others are uncomfortable with breastfeeding toddlers?

[Sophie1029734]

I have an 18m old who breastfeeds. She needs it to sleep, may wake up thirsty for some milk, feeds multiple times in the day. It's her desicion to stop, whenever it happens I'll be happy she got to choose when.

I've become so disentised from boobs and sometimes find myself saying to family, think she wants some boob. I dont think about what I'm saying, im just so used to it. But for some reason it makes people so uncomfortable now that she is a toddler and not a baby.
For example, we were at her nans and she was walking around and said mamma boo boo. Everyone jumped in to say, no she said baby and wanted her doll. When the breastfeeding convo comes up, everyone's chatting about when they stopped etc I'll just make convo and say yh.. ill let her decide when to stop and the room goes silent. If LO mentions the word boob the room goes silent. A topic they didnt mind has become something that makes them uncomfortable and sometimes disgusted, I see it all over their face. My family couldnt care less and actively tell me it's an amazing thing, yet none of them were able to breastfeed and those so uncomfortable with the topic did or have watched close family do it.
Anyone else notice others become uncomfortable with you breastfeeding because your child is a toddler?

Wow! I’m genuinely shocked that there are so many weird, old-fashioned attitudes to breastfeeding on here! When I heard about that, I literally thought it was only very elderly relatives who still believe that breastfeeding is disgusting and who haven’t heard about the health benefits for children and women.

@FortunesFave

I know it's good for them but because we don't live in a third world country, it's also unnecessary. By 18 months children need solids and no longer need milk...they can have cow's milk and gain all the nutrients they need from that.

Loving relationships aren't dependent on breast feeding.

Given your very first words are that its good for her, why would op then choose to not do it? Or to use another animals milk instead?

I bf my first until the week before she turned 2, but only at night time for just under the last year of that. Lots of my friends also bf into the second year and I have a friend who is still bf her now 3 1/2 year old. It felt normal for us but I was ready to finish by the end. Now bf my second who is almost 8m.

I did know that some people thought it was odd to bf that long, but no one really saw it when we only did it at night so I guess it's different knowing it happens and seeing it. Tbh I didn't really understand before I had children myself and would have thought it was a bit weird or too old. But there are many benefits to it and if it works for you then go for it. It doesn't affect them apart from their own feelings of weird, which are for them to deal with. I guess the only thing is that you need to accept that not everyone agrees/understands/likes it but if you want to continue then it's something that you just have to get on with! You probably won't change their mind but it is the WHO advice. It's just not so much part of our culture at that age so they aren't used to it.

@AnneLovesGilbert

Have to assume the “not necessary” gang only drink water and would never indulge in a tea or coffee or juice. They’re unnecessary after all. All we adult humans need to drink is water.

Tea or coffee yeah..not breast milk though!

By 18 months, surely toddlers can be given another drink or some actual food during the day when out?

And I say this as a mum who bf all hers until they self weaned.

Where do you draw the line? Getting your boobs out for a five year old? Six? Twelve?

They don't need one through the day at 18 months old. Keep it as a private thing at that age.

Who needs the IKEA feeding space more? A mum with a 4 months old or a mum with an 18 month old? The difference is immense...

Breast is best. That's what they say. Some women can't breastfeed no matter how they try. Some women don't want to for varying reasons.
That's what formula is for.

So, for those children who are bottle fed - why don't we see them drinking from a titty bottle when they are older, given that breast is a comfort thing and so the bottle being a substitute for the breast is also a source of comfort? No?

@Ionlydomassiveones

Beyond a certain age it’s unnecessary to breast feed a child and a parent’s job is to help a child ultimately become independent. Weaning is the start of that journey. If you still kept them in nappies or gave them teething rings beyond that developmental stage people would find that weird too.

The recommended age by the WHO is 2 yrs. It is attitudes like this that are weird, and misinformed. OP it is completely normal and healthy for you to still be breastfeeding, don't let ignorant opinions on here convince you otherwise.

And I second the fact that people saying OP shouldn't be breastfeeding her LO probably don't think it's weird to drink a cow's udder milk! It's weird what our society convinces itself is acceptable and what isn't, eh?

A lot of it is to do with people not being used to seeing older children being breastfed. It seems to be that you are encouraged until 6 months by friends/family and then people only ask when you are stopping!

I would just ignore them.

I am not keen on using 'boob' instead of milk/feed but that's my issue!

Tea or coffee yeah..not breast milk though!

Tea or coffee plain, or tea or coffee with cow's udder milk (meant for infant cows) in it?

Hmmm, well the OP has asked for opinions so you can’t be too surprised that people are now giving them.

I personally don’t care what people do as long as they’re adequately nourishing their kids, and I do think the ‘yuck’ comments are just childish.

That said, PP still feeding her nearly 4 year old, I’m not too sure he will thank you for that when he gets older - it might ‘work’ right now, but what about when he’s a teenager and can remember it? there was also a ‘straw poll’ type thread I read on here sometime ago, regarding the health of bottlefed and breastfed kids. Weirdly the breastfed kids seemed to have more allergies & conditions. My breastfed child catches everything going. So I’m not convinced by the health benefits, think it’s probably more to do with your genes etc.

I'd raise an eyebrow if I heard a toddler say "boob" and it has nothing to do with my feelings around breastfeeding.

Its a bit weird to still be breastfeeding a nearly 4 year old. And children asking for booby. Just no.

If it's mostly for comfort isn't feeding to sleep a toddler pointless when you have to brush their teeth afterwards anyway? If you aren't I'd be concerned about cavities, they can occur with at greater rates with extended breastfeeding in a similar way to extended bottle feeding, apparently this risk is mostly felt after the age of 2.

edition.cnn.com/2017/06/30/health/breastfeeding-cavities-dental-health-study/index.html

I am happy to admit that I'd feel uncomfortable seeing a child older than 2 being breastfed but also would never comment or make my feelings known to the mum doing it. It really isn't any of my business, regardless of how I feel about jt.

@Viviennemary

Its a bit weird to still be breastfeeding a nearly 4 year old. And children asking for booby. Just no.

Reminds me of David Walliams on 'Little Britain' asking mummy for 'Bitty'

@Lady1576

Wow! I’m genuinely shocked that there are so many weird, old-fashioned attitudes to breastfeeding on here! When I heard about that, I literally thought it was only very elderly relatives who still believe that breastfeeding is disgusting and who haven’t heard about the health benefits for children and women.

These were my thoughts too. I believed that the negativity surrounding breastfeeding was dying out. I cant drink cows milk because I find it strange, I have done since I knew what it was. The earliest memory is 5. No one told me to feel that way, it was just knowing i was drinking something made for another animals baby. After being introduced to the breastfeeding world I was shocked that kids drinking animal milk is considered more normal than drinking the milk made by their own mother. I have no babies on my side so when I got pregnant and was introduced to this world, i was genuinely confused.

Feeling like others around me find it weird and then seeing the negative comments before the good made me feel a bit crappy. I never considered their reactions were caused by me saying boob and my child saying boo boo 😂 I'm so disentised that this never crossed my mind, it makes sense now.
I'm bi and boobs hold no sexual value to me, I just see them as baby feeders so when i use the word boob it's as if I'm saying arm or leg. I definitely need to be more mindful about this.

Me too. I feel odd about it. I breastfed one to 9 months and one to 6 months so not anti breastfeeding but seems odd for an older one. Remember going to a la leche league meeting with dd2 as was struggling establishing feeding a prem newborn and seeing a lady who had a toddler same age as my older child and wondered why she was there then she started feeding her 3 year old I felt taken aback. Appreciate it’s my issue though.

I'd like to add that yes my child (at home) comes to me for milk but that doesnt mean she doesnt have her bottle of water/juice and constantly resorts to me when she is thirsty. She is very well fed and gets her 5 a day, if not more.
She wants milk when she is tierd which is why she said mamma.. boo boo.. I've never even questioned her saying it, I think the issue lies with those sexualising that area and breastfeeding last a certain age.

Well if your so sure where the issue lies OP why start the thread? It never ends well does it

@Ionlydomassiveones

Beyond a certain age it’s unnecessary to breast feed a child and a parent’s job is to help a child ultimately become independent. Weaning is the start of that journey. If you still kept them in nappies or gave them teething rings beyond that developmental stage people would find that weird too.

This sums it up for me. I was trying to articulate why I think it looks odd and uncomfortable and I think this is it.

I'm breastfeeding my two year old a few times a day, usually around sleep. Since the age of 1, I've probably started feeding less and less in public. Only if there's a big injury for comfort. It doesn't feel necessary and as a very pro-breast feeder, I find it a bit uncomfortable.
My child always asks for mummy milk, rather than boobs.

@Realyorkshiretea

Well if your so sure where the issue lies OP why start the thread? It never ends well does it

I wanted to see if others noticed a difference in how people reacted to . breastfeeding because of their kids age. Despite being confident in breastfeeding, It gets you down. The comments about useing the word boob so openly and it contributing to the weirdness was an eye opener. I'd never considered it before but is something I'll be more mindful of. I think from.now on I'll keep it myself, if it never comes up I'll never bring it up

@Anordinarymum

Breast is best. That's what they say. Some women can't breastfeed no matter how they try. Some women don't want to for varying reasons. That's what formula is for.

So, for those children who are bottle fed - why don't we see them drinking from a titty bottle when they are older, given that breast is a comfort thing and so the bottle being a substitute for the breast is also a source of comfort? No?

A 'titty bottle" Ha ha! I know what you're saying....parents who let older children use bottles past the age of 1 get lambasted...but if it's a breast then it's 'fine" till they're 4!

There's also evidence to support the theory that feeding beyond two causes tooth decay....and I suppose some people aren't comfortable with 18 month old toddlers asking for "boo boo" because it's a bit cringy.

Bitty...boo boo...boob....nobody wants to hear about it really. It's up to the individual if you feed them that long of course

Depends on your family and friends OP. I know plenty of people that breastfed toddlers and it was never an issue. It’s really your business and no one else’s, I can see why people might not like the word “boob” though, I don’t like that word either but I have nothing against breastfeeding.

I don't think it's sexual... just slang-y. I wouldn't like to hear a toddler say "ass" either.

It doesn't even make grammatical sense. Swap 'boob' out for another word. "I think she wants some bust/bosom."