Any1 notice others are uncomfortable with breastfeeding toddlers?

[Sophie1029734]

I have an 18m old who breastfeeds. She needs it to sleep, may wake up thirsty for some milk, feeds multiple times in the day. It's her desicion to stop, whenever it happens I'll be happy she got to choose when.

I've become so disentised from boobs and sometimes find myself saying to family, think she wants some boob. I dont think about what I'm saying, im just so used to it. But for some reason it makes people so uncomfortable now that she is a toddler and not a baby.
For example, we were at her nans and she was walking around and said mamma boo boo. Everyone jumped in to say, no she said baby and wanted her doll. When the breastfeeding convo comes up, everyone's chatting about when they stopped etc I'll just make convo and say yh.. ill let her decide when to stop and the room goes silent. If LO mentions the word boob the room goes silent. A topic they didnt mind has become something that makes them uncomfortable and sometimes disgusted, I see it all over their face. My family couldnt care less and actively tell me it's an amazing thing, yet none of them were able to breastfeed and those so uncomfortable with the topic did or have watched close family do it.
Anyone else notice others become uncomfortable with you breastfeeding because your child is a toddler?

@Ozanj how do you know 90% haven’t breastfed? More than half of new mums start off bfing so even if this thread is very average, most will have? What a strange assertion

@AnneLovesGilbert

There’s a very anti bf culture in the U.K. Breasts are for feeding babies but most people would ratter think of them as toys for men. It’s sad. The WHO recommends children are bf for 2 years and if more were across the world lives would be saved as a result.

Feed your child as long as you both want to. Spend less time with people who don’t support your choices.

This.

@WhatsTheBFD I'm sorry to read your BFing journey was so disrupted, and I say that as someone who BFed until natural weaning for both mine ay 17 months and 2.5 years respectively. But please, please don't feel shame: whatever happened that resulted in an ICU stay was obviously serious, and you needed to be there. Chances are that even had you been able to room in, you would have had major supply issues. Sometimes life gets in the way of our best laid plans, but that surely isn't your fault.

OP, I used the word 'nurse' and people (notably my mother) were weird about it after about 18 months. Her problem, not mine, but it wasn't the word (which my littlest cutely pronounced "neesh").

Uh OP be prepared for all the posters who think breastfeeding should stop at 6mo.

I still breastfeed my 3yo.

We have some of the worst breastfeeding rates so I guess this is the consequence of that.

[quote Realyorkshiretea]@RiversideAnne

I don’t think it’s anti bfing as such, more that if baby isn’t getting enough food or gaining weight, it does seem quite selfish for the mum to put their bfing goal before nourishing their baby

I also find the remarks about ‘low bfing rates’ to be odd. If you truly support a woman’s feeding choice then there is no ‘acceptable’ level of bfing - that’s your own projection of what you would find acceptable. Given formula is safe, nutritious and enables women to share the baby’s care or go back to work, why insist on an arbitrary level of bfing? That’s just as interfering as someone making disparaging remarks about someone bfing

Also comments about ‘western sociey’ influencing people. Of course it does, we live in it what do you expect?![/quote]
That wasn’t my issue, actually, but I’m any event if a mother wants to breastfeed but her baby isn’t gaining enough weight then in most cases the issue can be resolved - if it’s something to do with tongue tie, inadequate latch etc. Women should be supported to resolve these issues if they want to, so that they and their baby can still benefit from breastfeeding. That’s very far from selfish. It would be a shame to tell a woman who wants to breastfeed to switch to formula and deny her and her baby the benefits of breastfeeding rather than taking a little effort to resolve the problem.

Of course, some women do have issues with producing enough milk, but this is very rare.

The comment about low breastfeeding rates, although not mine, is fair imo. There is a huge drop off when you compare women who express an intention to breastfeed before their baby is born and women breastfeeding at six weeks. Many women will have happily decided to switch to formula and that’s fine - no issue with that at all. But a huge number of women stop breastfeeding before they really want to because of issues which could be resolved if they had the right support and advice. That is a problem - we should be doing more to support women who want to breastfeed but are struggling. For me it has nothing to do with an arbitrary level of breastfeeding, and everything to do with supporting women who want to breastfeed to do so successfully.

[quote Realyorkshiretea]@RiversideAnne

I don’t think it’s anti bfing as such, more that if baby isn’t getting enough food or gaining weight, it does seem quite selfish for the mum to put their bfing goal before nourishing their baby

I also find the remarks about ‘low bfing rates’ to be odd. If you truly support a woman’s feeding choice then there is no ‘acceptable’ level of bfing - that’s your own projection of what you would find acceptable. Given formula is safe, nutritious and enables women to share the baby’s care or go back to work, why insist on an arbitrary level of bfing? That’s just as interfering as someone making disparaging remarks about someone bfing

Also comments about ‘western sociey’ influencing people. Of course it does, we live in it what do you expect?![/quote]
What does natural term breastfeeding have to do with breastfed babies not gaining weight? It's not relevant to this thread and I can only think you're projecting massively.

I also think it is misleading to suggest that formula 'enables women to share the baby's care or go back to work' as though it's impossible to do that when breastfeeding. Hint: it isn't! I went back to work when DS was 7 months old, DH took shared parental leave until he was 11 months (having shared in his care perfectly well up until then) and then we started using paid childcare. Still breastfeeding at 18 months.

@Lady1576

fairyhouse so do you feel uncomfortable about children eating milk from a cow’s udder, because they can get nutrition from elsewhere? Do you feel uncomfortable when people eat broccoli because you can get vitamins from other vegetables. Utterly non-sensical statement.

@Lady1576 where in my post did I say I felt uncomfortable with breastfeeding? I'm explaining why some people might view it as unnecessary and therefore feel uncomfortable with it. I'm stating a fact which seems to have made you feel uncomfortable.

@SpikeDearheart

Alright chill out!

We were discussing river’s personal experience of struggling with it at the beginning so take it up with her lol

Of course it enables care to be shared. You don’t NEED to ff to share care but I’m guessing it helps massively for women who don’t want to be tied to a pump all day.

I don't care, genuinely. Not my boobs, not my baby/toddler. You do you OP.

People need to stop interference with other people's choices. She's not asking her child to latch on to your tit. Leave them be.

I have low supply and breast hypoplasia. I breastfed with formula in an SNS at the breast for 8 months with my youngest (who’d never take a bottle) and she’s still breastfeeding at nearly three.

I breastfed with an SNS for 15 months with my son until he self weaned. Breastfeeding goals and adequate feeding of babies are not in conflict even in cases of extreme low supply.

Also the benefits of breastfeeding aren’t negligible in the UK. People who think they are should read unicef’s article specifically for the UK.

www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/about/breastfeeding-in-the-uk/amp/

@Ozanj you’re wrong there ozanj. The benefits are amazing on paper but if you actually quantify them they’re negligible. It says ‘protect baby from X condition’ but not by how much - in most cases only a tiny difference, that’s why you can’t tell who was bf and who was ff in day to day life

@Hoowhoowho

I have low supply and breast hypoplasia. I breastfed with formula in an SNS at the breast for 8 months with my youngest (who’d never take a bottle) and she’s still breastfeeding at nearly three.

I breastfed with an SNS for 15 months with my son until he self weaned. Breastfeeding goals and adequate feeding of babies are not in conflict even in cases of extreme low supply.

Yes, exactly. But I do think genuine cases of extremely low supply like yours right from the beginning are probably a lot rarer than reported.

The NHS still doesn’t understand how breastfeeding works because midwives don’t have experience of babies older than 2 weeks old - for example I was told as soon as my DS was born not to bother with bf because of my conditions and because my breasts ‘looked’ hypoplastic. I tried anyway and my supply was fantastic. I was then told there was a problem with my supply & to ff because baby wasn’t gaining weight, but the NHS refused to test for tongue tie until my lactation consultant intervened.

[quote Realyorkshiretea]@SpikeDearheart

Alright chill out!

We were discussing river’s personal experience of struggling with it at the beginning so take it up with her lol

Of course it enables care to be shared. You don’t NEED to ff to share care but I’m guessing it helps massively for women who don’t want to be tied to a pump all day.[/quote]
I'm perfectly chilled thanks - it's your unhelpful and hyperbolic takes on breastfeeding that are sounding a bit overly emotional. You don't need to be 'attached to a pump all day' to share care, or to return to work. When I returned to work after 7 months, I pumped once a day for about 15 minutes. By 12 months the amount of milk I was able to pump dropped, DS was eating solids well and didn't seem to care about waiting for breast milk until I was home, so I stopped pumping. Still breastfeeding, still chilled

[quote Realyorkshiretea]@Ozanj you’re wrong there ozanj. The benefits are amazing on paper but if you actually quantify them they’re negligible. It says ‘protect baby from X condition’ but not by how much - in most cases only a tiny difference, that’s why you can’t tell who was bf and who was ff in day to day life[/quote]
If you want to ignore the facts and dismiss them as ‘negligible’ that’s on you. There are also newer cutting edge scientific studies that have proven that bf babies live on average 2-3 years longer into adulthood than ff fed ones (the data is emerging now), have greater insulin sensitivity, have healthier immune systems, and are less likely to get certain types of cancers / heart and lung disorders / autoimmune conditions.

The reason why we haven’t seen this research before is because in the past it was centred around formula. I imagine in 5-10 years breastfeeding will be scientifically proven to be the healthiest way to feed babies & avoid certain disorders and Mums will be given more support to continue.

@FortunesFave

I know it's good for them but because we don't live in a third world country, it's also unnecessary. By 18 months children need solids and no longer need milk...they can have cow's milk and gain all the nutrients they need from that.

Loving relationships aren't dependent on breast feeding.

There are HUGE health benefits you can only get from breastmilk . Antibodies, etc I fed 2 of my children till 4.5 years when they self weaned the others till 2-3 years but up till 2 I think if you can feed and want to breastfeed it’s the best thing to do. It’s a shame to try and ignore/minimise the benefits of extended breastfeeding just to spare the feelings of those who can’t or to conform to social ideals that bf is ok but only for tiny babies

As for the third world comment that’s irrelevant as we are all humans and human milk is for humans the benefit is there no matter where you’re from

[quote Realyorkshiretea]@Ozanj you’re wrong there ozanj. The benefits are amazing on paper but if you actually quantify them they’re negligible. It says ‘protect baby from X condition’ but not by how much - in most cases only a tiny difference, that’s why you can’t tell who was bf and who was ff in day to day life[/quote]
But has anyone ever actually done a large scale study to really prove there is no difference ? Or is it like when someone says ‘oh but you LOOK ok?’ If you declare a medical condition

It may be just by casually observing you can’t see any difference between bf and ff but if nobody has ever done a proper research study how could we really know !

@Ozanj there is no evidence that bfing makes any more than a negligible overall difference to a person’s health. Show me anything that proves otherwise?

Yes my breasts don’t look obviously hypoplastic but I had the classic history for someone with low supply. PCOS, no periods for over 10 years in my teens and twenties, no breast growth in pregnancy.

I’m a lactation consultant and would say low supply is more common than some breastfeeding advocates would have it and less common than the public perception. I would also say it’s on the rise in Western societies, more obesity, better medical care so more women with significant medical conditions can conceive and birth healthy babies, more breast surgery, better infertility treatment.

Good breastfeeding help is like detective work with babies who aren’t gaining, often it’s multi factorial and often low supply is secondary. Just give formula in a bottle is a cop out answer, even if it may be part of the journey.

I shouldn't read posts like this because some of the responses always ruin my day. That first response about the fact we don't live in a third world country is so ignorant and offensive, I don't even know where to start.

The prejudice against 'extended' breastfeeding is shocking. I put the word extended in inverted commas because, as far as I'm concerned, that's a matter of opinion. People should be able to make their own choices, whether to bottle feed, to breastfeed, to keep breastfeeding going until its natural conclusion, without judgement. Despite the fact that my feeding choices were just something I got on with as best I could, I still had tuts, eye rolls and unwanted, usually ill informed, opinions. Not once have I ever offered anyone my opinion to any other woman about how she feeds her baby/toddler. I get a lot of stuff wrong in life, but keeping my fucking opinion to myself unless it's asked for, is something I get right.

Oops, there was a rogue 'anyone' towards the end there!!!

My DD used to say 'titty'! She finally gave it up at 4. 😂😂😂

Yeah, it's a UK thing. I moved to Germany and it's just seen as absolutely normal here at least until the age of about 2. Not sure beyond that because it never really came up in discussion, but I know for example if I mentioned I was feeding/cosleeping with a 2yo to work colleagues in the UK they'd think you were totally barmy and possibly a bit perverted, a massive pushover and/or a crazy hippy. But I mentioned it somewhat sheepishly to my colleagues in Germany (to explain why I felt tired) and they thought it was completely normal and expected.

@whatabelter

YABU for saying "she wants some boob" sorry op!

Yuk. Too right!

Weirds me out completely to be honest but I know that’s my issue and I need to get over