Any1 notice others are uncomfortable with breastfeeding toddlers?

[Sophie1029734]

I have an 18m old who breastfeeds. She needs it to sleep, may wake up thirsty for some milk, feeds multiple times in the day. It's her desicion to stop, whenever it happens I'll be happy she got to choose when.

I've become so disentised from boobs and sometimes find myself saying to family, think she wants some boob. I dont think about what I'm saying, im just so used to it. But for some reason it makes people so uncomfortable now that she is a toddler and not a baby.
For example, we were at her nans and she was walking around and said mamma boo boo. Everyone jumped in to say, no she said baby and wanted her doll. When the breastfeeding convo comes up, everyone's chatting about when they stopped etc I'll just make convo and say yh.. ill let her decide when to stop and the room goes silent. If LO mentions the word boob the room goes silent. A topic they didnt mind has become something that makes them uncomfortable and sometimes disgusted, I see it all over their face. My family couldnt care less and actively tell me it's an amazing thing, yet none of them were able to breastfeed and those so uncomfortable with the topic did or have watched close family do it.
Anyone else notice others become uncomfortable with you breastfeeding because your child is a toddler?

Bitty

I totally wanted to quote that but didn't dare

Well of course people will see a difference you would have to be living under a rock to not know that it gets more ‘unusual’ the older the child gets in this society.

You can ignore it though and just do what suits you. These types of threads will only bring out the immature ‘bitty’ comments, or a billion posts about the world health organisation and cows breast milk

That wasn't a suggestion to start saying "She wants some bust" by the way, it was just to show how silly it sounds to me. I realise I wrote it a bit ambiguously!

I am still breast feeding my 3 yr old. She is showing signs of autism, doesn't speak and has a problem communicating. I give it her so she feels comfort in a world that she is finding difficulties. I do get comments from family that she should be off the breast by now. It is our choice and reassuring for her. She is having it less and less as time goes on. It is every mother's choice to meet the needs of their individual child's needs as she sees fit so ignore what other people say and enjoy your motherhood journey.

@SallySycamore

That wasn't a suggestion to start saying "She wants some bust" by the way, it was just to show how silly it sounds to me. I realise I wrote it a bit ambiguously!

I did wonder! "Mother, I would like some mammary please"

@Mumwithapub

I am still breast feeding my 3 yr old. She is showing signs of autism, doesn't speak and has a problem communicating. I give it her so she feels comfort in a world that she is finding difficulties. I do get comments from family that she should be off the breast by now. It is our choice and reassuring for her. She is having it less and less as time goes on. It is every mother's choice to meet the needs of their individual child's needs as she sees fit so ignore what other people say and enjoy your motherhood journey.

I don't think there's actually anything wrong with it...as others have said, clarifying my own thoughts...it's the open discussion of "boobing" and "wants some boob" etc that's a bit much.

A lot of Mothers get blinded by their own children's needs and think the world revolves around them. You're doing all you can to support your child and that's more than fine.

To clarify again...it DOES make me somewhat uncomfortable to see. I don't know why. It just does. I'm not going to grow out of that at my current age...I understand all of the arguments about why it's fine to do it...but my own feelings can't change.

If the goal is independence why on earth of toddlers in nappies for longer and longer now? It used to be normal to be out of nappies around 1.5 years and now some people seem to thing that it's child abuse to potty train before they miraculously just decide to use a toilet at 3 or 4. If we're aiming for independence why is it so uncommon for toddlers to be allowed to help with household tasks?

Kids are babied so much now but milk from their mothers is weird passed 6 months.

(DD has been using the toilet and helping with food prep since nearly one, still breastfeeding at two and a half)

@olderthanyouthink

If the goal is independence why on earth of toddlers in nappies for longer and longer now? It used to be normal to be out of nappies around 1.5 years and now some people seem to thing that it's child abuse to potty train before they miraculously just decide to use a toilet at 3 or 4. If we're aiming for independence why is it so uncommon for toddlers to be allowed to help with household tasks?

Kids are babied so much now but milk from their mothers is weird passed 6 months.

(DD has been using the toilet and helping with food prep since nearly one, still breastfeeding at two and a half)

Toilet training is a completely separate issue and all children differ in their abilities.

Some grasp it really early, others don't. That's nothing to do with their parent's choice. The best time for a child to come out of nappies is the moment they realise they're 'going' or are about to.

I'd also think that at 18 months it might get quite restrictive, if you feed whenever she asks? Especially if it's more for comfort than nourishment.

Little babies have little tummies and it's their only food source, but I think out and about feeds "just because" as 18 months are more of a nuisance than a necessity.

Okay bitty is next level cringe, reminds me of little Britain. I didnt know boo boo was part of that cringe level. LO said it once and it just stuck. She has a sweet voice, sometimes mispronounces so when she says it she sounds cute. Wont be changing it now but also wont be saying it round others 😆

Personally I find it uncomfortable. (I BF my baby who is currently 4 months) but wouldn't go beyond 6 months to a year. I find it weird after that age. Just My personal preference. However I love that you are just so causal about it. I think if more people were like that I would feel less uneasy!

@olderthanyouthink

If the goal is independence why on earth of toddlers in nappies for longer and longer now? It used to be normal to be out of nappies around 1.5 years and now some people seem to thing that it's child abuse to potty train before they miraculously just decide to use a toilet at 3 or 4. If we're aiming for independence why is it so uncommon for toddlers to be allowed to help with household tasks?

Kids are babied so much now but milk from their mothers is weird passed 6 months.

(DD has been using the toilet and helping with food prep since nearly one, still breastfeeding at two and a half)

Back in the day research wasnt available as it is today. Parenting styles change because we have relised that theres better ways of doing things. Rather than spending ages potty training a kid that isnt ready, we can now wait for the sighns that they are. You can add the same logic to breastfeeding, we know that natural wheening is better then being made to stop. They will do it for themselves.

@FortunesFave

I know it's good for them but because we don't live in a third world country, it's also unnecessary. By 18 months children need solids and no longer need milk...they can have cow's milk and gain all the nutrients they need from that.

Loving relationships aren't dependent on breast feeding.

This

@Ionlydomassiveones

Beyond a certain age it’s unnecessary to breast feed a child and a parent’s job is to help a child ultimately become independent. Weaning is the start of that journey. If you still kept them in nappies or gave them teething rings beyond that developmental stage people would find that weird too.

But why do you get to decide when that "developmental stage" ends? Our country seems to have arbitrarily decided that the developmental stage where a baby needs breastmilk ends at about 1 year old, whereas for some babies it is longer than that.

If I took my baby out of nappies "early" at 6 months old people.would think that was weird, but its fine to stop breastfeeding "early" at 6 months. They aren't comparable really.

I know plenty of babies fed to 18 months and longer who have had no issues becoming independent when the time was right for them.

I’m breastfeeding a 21 mo and it’s the same from my side of the family. So far I’ve been protected from the comments from DH’s side due to distance but I have no doubt that when we visit they will try to convince us to wean him. It won’t be happening. So far my little boy has not had any diarrhea or vomiting, even when he’s been heavily exposed to noroviruses, and so I’m convinced my bacteria is helping him build his immune system.

Obviously it's your right to do what you want with your own body, and your own child. But honestly yes I do find it uncomfortable watching a woman having her boobs sucked publicly by a walking talking person! A lot of people feel the same. So I'm sure I'll be shot down for this but a large percentage of the population also find it a bit distasteful at that age. However it's your right to do what's best for you and I respect that, and respect that your child's needs come ahead of my opinion.

Hello I'm so sorry to see these Naysayers ill educated comments. As a breastfeeding mom to a 20 month old myself I just want to say you are doing brilliantly mamma! You should come join this Facebook group. Its brilliant and full of wonderful supportive women xxx
www.facebook.com/groups/BFOlderBabiesandBeyond/?ref=share

Weirdly the breastfed kids seemed to have more allergies & conditions. My breastfed child catches everything going. So I’m not convinced by the health benefits, think it’s probably more to do with your genes etc.

I think I will stick to what actual research has found rather than just what you reckon.

@Notashandyta

By 18 months, surely toddlers can be given another drink or some actual food during the day when out?

And I say this as a mum who bf all hers until they self weaned.

Where do you draw the line? Getting your boobs out for a five year old? Six? Twelve?

They don't need one through the day at 18 months old. Keep it as a private thing at that age.

Who needs the IKEA feeding space more? A mum with a 4 months old or a mum with an 18 month old? The difference is immense...

My 21 mo feeds properly 4-6 times a day. He doesn’t always drink because he’s hungry. He does it when he’s upset, hurt, teething, overwhelmed; it actually even soothes his tantrumns. It’s something I never realised until my son’t pediatrician pointed out that in countries where mums extend bf to demand you rarely find the ‘terrible twos’.

@LegoCaltrops

Breasts are primarily for feeding babies. Children will naturally self wean when they are ready, given the chance they will breastfeed for several years.

And truthfully, cows milk is for baby cows. It's contains naturally produced growth hormones, to help the calves grow. In evolutionary terms, it's not a natural human food. A large percentage of humans worldwide are intolerant to the lactose or protein in it to some extent. Logically, it's far weirder to drink cow milk than to breastfeed a toddler, but that's seen as normal.

Do what makes you & your child happy & healthy. Bollocks to anyone who criticises you. If they can't support your choices, don't make room for them in your life.

Very well put!

OP I'm currently feeding my 18 month old and my older daughter fee until she was about 2.5
I didn't really have any negative comments but I do live in an area where breastfeeding rates are quite high so I knew quite a few mums feeding toddlers. Maybe some of the mums at baby and toddler groups thought it was weird and unnecessary and my baby would never become independent, but I knew it was best for me and my baby at that time so really I don't care what they think.

With family it is tricky, and I do agree that changing the terminology you use might help, maybe if they make a comment you could direct them to some research into the benefits of longer term breastfeeding, or inform them of the WHO recommendation to feed until age 2 or beyond, or just tell them that you and your child are happy with the arrangement and you don't want to hear their opinions.

We all do plenty of things in the day which are "unnecessary" but make our lives easier or our children happy, so we do them anyway. If I only spent my days doing things which are strictly necessary they would be very dull indeed..

I'm happily feeding my 21mo and will do so until one of US want to stop. I've been shocked at the negativity I've encountered (not much, but a little). Ignorant people belittling breastfeeding mums or acting uncomfortable around them need to get a life.

Sorry OP but 'wants boob' is equally as cringeworthy as 'bitty'.

'Boobing' is the absolute worst though.

OT but I'm intrigued as to how being bi has any bearing on whether you see breasts are sexual. Maybe you're a bit of an oversharer all round and that is that's why you're getting po faces?