Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Honest opinion would you work if you didn't have to?

224 replies

LifesTooShortYOLO · 26/08/2021 16:50

No horrible comments please 🥲
I've had the privilege of being a stay at home mum as my husband is in a well paid job so it has allowed us to do that.
Previous to having my son I worked full time.
My DS is starting school in September and I have been looking at little part time jobs to give me something to do whilst DS is at school. I thought that I'm going to have a lot of spare time on my hands as me and DS do everything together every day so I figured I needed something to focus on and have some sort of routine and structure while he is at school.
I have been offered an interview for 2/3 days of 4 hour shifts during the week days.
What would you do?
Would you work if you DIDN'T have to? Honestly? And what would be your reasons for or for not?
Thank you for any help and advice ☺️

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
AmandaHoldensLips · 26/08/2021 16:53

No I wouldn't. Fuck that.

Phyllis321 · 26/08/2021 16:54

I would; being financially dependent isn’t for me. I like my job, I’m good at it and it’s reasonably well-paid, with a pension. It doesn’t define me by any means but it does boost my self-esteem.

SpaceBethSmith · 26/08/2021 16:54

Yes, because relying on a man for money is no way to live.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting
wizzywig · 26/08/2021 16:55

Yes. Its what I have done. I hated being a sahm

SantiagoSky · 26/08/2021 16:56

I value my financial independence and found a good job for 4 days a week

blaisealex · 26/08/2021 16:56

Nope, I wouldn't. I don't like working. Even if it was my dream job. I just don't like working. I could fill my free time with millions of different things I want to do rather than working.

SpaceBethSmith · 26/08/2021 16:57

@blaisealex

Nope, I wouldn't. I don't like working. Even if it was my dream job. I just don't like working. I could fill my free time with millions of different things I want to do rather than working.
Well, yes, so could I. If I win the Lottery. Not if it meant relying on a man for money.
Wilmaa · 26/08/2021 16:57

Nope

Tee20x · 26/08/2021 16:57

I was about to say nope, UNTIL I read you would be relying on your husband completely. Don't do it, too many stories of women being fucked over & then feeling as if they are forced to stay with their husband because they have no money, family & can't get a job as been out of work for 15+ years.

Take the part time job, see it as a change of scenery and spare money for savings or whatever else you wish to do. 4 hour shifts will fly by and help you meet new people.

If you hate it you can always leave.

ItsAChallengingWank · 26/08/2021 16:58

I gave up work as my ex earned well and we agreed, we didn't need to claim benefits and it would be better if I was available more for the dc as one has additional needs etc until the dc were older

I've 2 regrets. That's one of them.

Even if you work a couple of hours a week doing something you enjoy or a bit of time away from the home as independence. Definitely work. I'm paying the price for my decision now...

MrsFin · 26/08/2021 16:59

There's no way I'd be dependent on any man, or anyone come to that. My pride would prevent me, apart from anything else.

NotJustACigar · 26/08/2021 16:59

How well paid is your husband and do you have significant savings? I wouldn't personally want to be reliant on a man but I don't much like working, either. Is there anything you're passionate about that you could study to do rather than just taking a run-of-the-mill job?

letsmakethishappen · 26/08/2021 17:00

Like PPs have said. I wouldn’t in the world to rely on a man financially. They can pay more if they earn more but hey! I like to have my own money and that’s the advice I give to my dd. She knows that very well at 8.

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 26/08/2021 17:00

Yes defo. I hated being a SAHM and wouldnt do it again.

MargosKaftan · 26/08/2021 17:00

Yes, I am doing. Like you, became a SAHM for a few years, DHs wage increased in that time and we are comfortable without me earning anything, but I have found a part time job thats pretty much term time only (a couple of weeks a year i need childcare).

I like that I have my own money, I like that I'm building something towards a pension myself (although it will be feck all, I like its something!).

I like that dh doesn't buy his own gifts at birthday/Christmas. And we have a very strong marriage, but I like that I've closed the gap in my cv if something happened and I had to support myself, much easier to get a full time job from having worked part time for years than full time job from having not worked for years.

I also think its good for the kids to see that we both work.

Guineapigbridge · 26/08/2021 17:04

I couldn't bear being totally reliant on a man for money. So yes, I'd work so I had my own pot of funds.
In the 'win the lottery' scenario I'd work 6 months of the year or remotely while travelling.

PotteringAlong · 26/08/2021 17:04

I would definitely work!

spooney21 · 26/08/2021 17:05

No way. I would never want to be financially reliant on a man, plus I've studied for 9 years to achieve my career. I work part time but now earn more than my dh so I know if he walked away I could afford to independently house myself and dc and still have a nice life.

JSL52 · 26/08/2021 17:05

Only give up work if I won the lottery , no way I'd rely on a man.

RobinPenguins · 26/08/2021 17:06

Yes I don’t ever want to be completely reliant on another person financially, however much I love and trust them. I also really craved the mental challenge of work by the end of my maternity leave. If I wasn’t working I’d want to be studying or something to fulfil that need.

Lazypuppy · 26/08/2021 17:06

I would definitely always work

grey12 · 26/08/2021 17:08

Depends on how you feel about it. Some women would hate to stay at home, others would love!

The deal you are getting with working part time is cool, though (please let me know what is your field Grin). Are you considering going full time when your child/children is older? If so then it'd be good to start now part time

Personally I would love some peaceful time at home and have an organised life, after the chaos Grin (3 kiddos under 5). But the idea of working again and helping out in a hospital (where I used to work) sounds nice as well, though I don't think I'd really be able to get a part time job Sad

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 26/08/2021 17:11

Yes I would work.

  1. Purpose and pride (I know some get that from sahp but I dont)
  2. Adult company and stimulation (where i live there is NOTHING going on during the day and sahps are not a thing)
  3. Repaying society for my education and training
  4. Saving up for pension.
  5. Safetynet in case dh were to die/leave me.
Finewine76 · 26/08/2021 17:11

Absolutely not.

Roonilwazlib1 · 26/08/2021 17:12

In am ideal world no I wouldn't work.

Me and my DH actuallt discussed whether I would be a SAHM but i wouldnt for 2 reasons:

  1. The obvious one - it would be too tight on DH salary alone
  1. I'd be doing it for the wrong reason - because I dont really want to work, not because I'd be any good at being a SAHM.

For what it's worth I earn pretty much the same as my DH in a "proper career" job and I'm good at it, I just cant be arsed anymore. Not sure how else to describe it!

Swipe left for the next trending thread