Honest opinion would you work if you didn't have to?

[LifesTooShortYOLO]

No horrible comments please 🥲
I've had the privilege of being a stay at home mum as my husband is in a well paid job so it has allowed us to do that.
Previous to having my son I worked full time.
My DS is starting school in September and I have been looking at little part time jobs to give me something to do whilst DS is at school. I thought that I'm going to have a lot of spare time on my hands as me and DS do everything together every day so I figured I needed something to focus on and have some sort of routine and structure while he is at school.
I have been offered an interview for 2/3 days of 4 hour shifts during the week days.
What would you do?
Would you work if you DIDN'T have to? Honestly? And what would be your reasons for or for not?
Thank you for any help and advice ☺️

@LifesTooShortYOLO

Thank you for the replies so far. To answer some questions Yes we have savings and also no mortgage, for me it's more about not feeling 'bored' while DS starts school? If that makes sense. DH is happy what ever I choose.

Ok, but I think as per the responses for most others it’s about the dignity of paying for the clothes on yout own back and food in your belly. The sanity of doing something other than being a mum and securing yout own financial future.

Yes I work 15 hours a week. I don’t have too but it’s a professional job I have worked for. I would prob something even if didn’t have a profession though. I work minimum I can get away with to keep my skills up and my foot in the door.
I know if it we ever went wrong I could up my hours and support myself. I also like having another side to myself that isn’t just about the kids. It’s a pain as things like family holidays have to be planned around my job, and kids have to go in clubs a lot due to working long days, but it’s worth it.
Jobs like the one you describe are like gold dust. Definitely give it a try at least.

I’m a sahm and I’m itching to get back to work.

Ideally I’d work full time, but given my circumstances currently, 12 hours a week would be perfect.

I hate being reliant on DH for money. Absolutely hate it. I’ve full access to all money, but knowing that I can’t support myself and my kids is awful if he chose to leave. I miss adult interaction without children present, and I miss being able to talk about things I’ve done that don’t involve my kids during the day. I also want my DTs to see that mama works too, and to boost our family money and savings for the kids future. I also feel (probably quite unfairly) that DH thinks I’ve got a cushty little number going and he’s got the rough end of the deal so would like to even it out a bit more.

So yes, I don’t have to work but I want to work. Good luck whichever way you decide!

No

Yes - might not work full time, 4 days would be ideal, but I get a lot of satisfaction from my job and earning my own money so I’m financially independent and have my own pension etc. I like my team which also helps!

Not a chance, well definitely not in a "career", but sadly I have "careered" myself into a corner and financially can't leave as the higher earner.

To be honest I'll always feel sad for this, that I don't have a career or job I love, but that it pays well so I have to stay.

Think about school.holidays and days your child is sick
Have you got back up in place etc
If no and you can afford to not work ....don't....u less you REALLY REALLY want to
You could always do some volunteer work etc

I would work and save the money. No one knows what the future holds and you may need that money in the future.
Working will also give you the option to make new friends too

I don't have to work but I do. Independence, intellectual stimulation, colleagues, achievement, role model for my children, makes me more than one dimensional.

If its not for money @LifesTooShortYOLO is there some volunteering you could do. If you have good work skills could you mentor?

If life goes tits up both could help you back into work.

I work in a school. I get the holidays off with dds, I have my own money and it keeps my brain ticking over. I’d like to not work, but have worked since I was 16. When dds were babies I was a SAHM, didn’t like it and went back to work when the youngest was 3.
It’s always good to have something to fall back on and have adult conversation.

YES

Yes because i love my job and I’m more than ‘just’ mum. I want to be myself too and my job is part of it.

Yes because you have no idea what the future will ring. You might not need the money/job now. But you might well need it in 5 or 10 years time. I’m thinking about my friend who became a widow at 35yo. Or me trying to leave my marriage. Much harder when you dint have a job to fall back onto.

Yes because I’ve always found it much harder to have a balance relationship when not working. Too easy to fall back onto a 1950s set up. The whole of it, not just the ‘who does what’ in the relationship.

And yes. Pension too.

@Lulu1919

Think about school.holidays and days your child is sick Have you got back up in place etc If no and you can afford to not work ....don't....u less you REALLY REALLY want to You could always do some volunteer work etc

It’s not that hard to get child care . All working parents fo it.

I work very part time because we can afford for me to. No kids.
I do a few no-pressure, very very part time jobs in which I am self employed, so can pick and choose hours.

I do exercise classes, social sports, training with my dog, wild swimming, meet friends, relax and keep on top (mostly) of housework stuff.
My husband pays for a cleaner fortnightly which helps.

I am very happy, fulfilled, fit and contented.

My husband is happy to work and enjoys seeing me doing what I love.
We’re not rich by any means, but we’re comfortable and it works for us. This is what I’ve always wanted. Previously I worked long hours when I was single/with previous partners.

To not be bored, no. Because there is so much to do in terms of hobbies/activities.

But to have some money of my own and to challenge my brain a little, yes.

No I would not. We are planning that I go to Uni and convert my years of experience to a formal degree. (When DCs get a bit older) he has already had the snip, so safe!!
We hope that we can then open are own business and share child care and home stuff. We did role swap for a time but my wage was not enough.

Losing my financial independence and earning potential relying on a man, no.

If universal basic income was a thing and manageable yes I'd consider it.

100% I would. I even started a side business on maternity. I love my profession and how it can lead to so many new ventures. I would never not work but I would like the freedom to choose appealing work

I honestly wouldn’t, couldn’t, work if I was independently wealthy and didn’t need to.

If I tried to do so, I would feel guilty that I was taking a job and earning money which someone else needed more than me. Even if I could ignore the guilt, there would be a cold, wet, dark Monday morning on which, when the alarm went off, I would just think ‘fuck that’, turn over and go back to sleep.

@HangingChads

For those of you saying that nursery costs more than you would earn - nursery costs are a shared expense like electricity and food, not a personal expense for the woman!!

Except the available money for the family would DECREASE in that example and maybe that family wouldn't be able to afford living in their present home or paying for bills

Hell Yes. Paid time off from being a parent. What's not to like.

In an ideal world

SAHP until youngest DC is about 2 / 2.5

Study towards something I'd really enjoy/get fulfilment from. Then work in that field.

I don't mind being dependent on DH but I don't want to end up like my mum who had no relevant work experience for years and now wants/needs to find work but can't.

But also I find it difficult to keep social connections going without work.

If I had my own wealth and it was reliable/not likely to run out I’d probably work differently.

Would I be reliant on someone else supporting me? Not. A. Chance. I’ve seen far too many mums jack work when they have kids, husband has good job, they don’t need to work… kids get to 8/10/14 whatever and the couple split up, wife hasn’t worked for 10+ years and suddenly doesn’t have a single
transferable skill, and very little income.

Never ever rely on someone else’s money. Maybe rather than “a little part time job” go back t college/uni and train to do something that you want, that will enable you to have a career in a few years.

It’s nonsense about childcare in holidays/sickness. I’ve managed to get ds to 14 as a single parent working full time.