Honest opinion would you work if you didn't have to?

[LifesTooShortYOLO]

No horrible comments please 🥲
I've had the privilege of being a stay at home mum as my husband is in a well paid job so it has allowed us to do that.
Previous to having my son I worked full time.
My DS is starting school in September and I have been looking at little part time jobs to give me something to do whilst DS is at school. I thought that I'm going to have a lot of spare time on my hands as me and DS do everything together every day so I figured I needed something to focus on and have some sort of routine and structure while he is at school.
I have been offered an interview for 2/3 days of 4 hour shifts during the week days.
What would you do?
Would you work if you DIDN'T have to? Honestly? And what would be your reasons for or for not?
Thank you for any help and advice ☺️

I find that when you can’t make that decision to not work, you think you’d grab the chance

But it’s not what you imagine and if you like your brain to keep busy, you need something to focus on that isn’t laundry, dusting, shopping or worrying aimlessly about things that are perfectly fine.

I always thought I’d be happy not working, but I wasn’t. My brian turned to mush and I had very little to think about.

I’m sure some would be happy with that existence, I wasn’t.

Brain! Poor old Brian was fine! No mush at all!

If you are happy that you would be financially ok if you divorce in the future then just do what you want to OP. It's a fortunate and unusual position to be in.

I think I would do something, not necessarily paid work but something like helping community or charity work. I am a SAHM but am self employed and work whenever DP is at home and it's so stressful but I think I would be bored not doing anything. I enjoy the gym etc but there's only so many hours a day you can do that for.

Otoh, I don’t feel those who say no are blabbering - I believe they simply have a different viewpoint. See how that works?

I’m not buying it 🤣🤣😜

Nor do I believe the threads re high earners where every MNetter earns six figures.
The internet is not real!

I would work if I didn’t have to as long as my work was fulfilling. Many women might be leaving the workforce before their work becomes fulfilling (not our fault but biology and career trajectory colliding) - it’s less of a temptation to return to a junior role if you don’t have to, versus returning to a fulfilling career that you’ve carved out for yourself where you have more autonomy over projects and hours etc.

I wouldn’t do a non career job if I didn’t have to, however I would find something to do - that might be lending my time to an important community project, or getting artsy and developing a small income/passion that way. Or perhaps consulting occasionally to keep my skills relevant, if that was possible in my line of work.

However, there is a big difference between “don’t have to right now” versus “won’t have to ever” - if it was just my husbands income that meant I didn’t have to work, then I would still work part time to not have a gap in my CV incase something happened to my marriage or husband. If he/we were so rich that regardless of divorce or death I still wouldn’t need to work, then I would focus on unpaid or passion projects.

Yes. I love my career. Wouldn't give it up. I want my own money and independence. I will never be dependent on a man

@Dancingonmoonlight

Otoh, I don’t feel those who say no are blabbering - I believe they simply have a different viewpoint. See how that works?

I’m not buying it 🤣🤣😜

Nor do I believe the threads re high earners where every MNetter earns six figures.
The internet is not real!

If you choose not to buy it that’s your choice. You’d be factually incorrect but maybe that doesn’t matter to you.

So - is another working adult to pay into your pension fund?

I don't know why people can't accept that not everyone is the same?

I have always worked as has my DH. We both earn enough that neither of us "has to work" but both of us enjoy our jobs and getting some space from the kids. Looking after both kids during the first lockdown was hideous for my mental health. I think I would slide into depression very quickly as a SAHM.

That is what it is. Doesn't make that the right choice for everyone

@Dancingonmoonlight

No and IMO the majority of those talking about financial independence do not have the choice about having to work and it’s just blabber and self talk.

The only thing I would advise is setting up a pension fund for yourself.

I mean, I have to work. Because I am the higher earner. Actually, I don't have to. We could live on dps wage if we needed to. But I enjoy working. Enjoy knowing him staying or going, won't impact my finances to a massive degree.

There have been times when I wasn't the higher earner, I liked knowing I could financially support myself. But also enjoyed my career.

When exh had a breakdown and became dangerous. I left, with kids and had the money to buy my own home. Even though I earned a lot less than I do now. Not having worries about where money was going to come from, really helped.

I find it odd, that you think so little of women, you assume they only work because they have to. They couldn't possibly enjoy their jobs, enjoy financial independence etc.

I find it odd, that you think so little of women, you assume they only work because they have to. They couldn't possibly enjoy their jobs, enjoy financial independence etc.

Quite. Very well said 👏

Well you need to do something with your time, and your brain, and you also want to be able to look after yourself if your DP became ill and couldn’t work (however unlikely that may be.)

But if this is a job that isn’t appealing, could you use the time to train for something more interesting? That’s what I’d do.

Yes because I absolutely love my job.

If I had children who were under 14 and a husband then no. Its a myth that things get easier when they go to school. They need you more.

As a side note, no one has ever asked my DH why he works when he "doesn't have to"

no but I woukd volunteer at different places

Nope! If I could live a nice and comfortable life without working for someone else, I wouldn't. I would think about doing freelance work and/or volunteering related to my hobbies but I wouldn't choose to work.

In your position, OP, I would take some time to train or learn about something that would be more of a passion for you. A friend of mine has recently trained to be an osteopath for example and takes appointments when she wants

Lone parent. Salaried and with bonus I’m technically a top % earner.

I’d stop work in a heartbeat.

Yes. My husband also has a well paid job and I could not work if I wanted to but I've continued with my career for a few reasons:
1 - so I can be financially independent
2 - so I have something that's mine, to challenge me as an individual
3 - so we can afford to send kids to private school
4 - afford more nice stuff, holidays etc.

Don't think I'm a 'stay at home and have a little job' kind of person.

But do what suits you and your family best.

Yes I would because I love my job. I'd cut my hours though if I could afford to, I find working full time exhausting.

@ActonSquirrel

I find it odd, that you think so little of women, you assume they only work because they have to. They couldn't possibly enjoy their jobs, enjoy financial independence etc.

Quite. Very well said 👏

Was that comment aimed at the OP? If so that's not what she's implied. The question of the thread is if you didn't have you would you? Thereby opening the possibility for a range of reasons to work.

@Mybatteryisalwayslow no it wasn't, @ActonSquirrel was quoting me, who was replying to another poster (not op), who I also quoted.

I've been a sahm for 17 years.

My dh values what I do and I've never felt as if I'm living off 'his' money, it's 'our' money. He knows full well that he wouldn't be where he is without my support and help.

I've spent my time helping at the ds' schools, sports clubs, volunteering at a food bank, seeing my Mum on a regular basis as well as socialising with friends and doing exercise.

We are comfortably off so haven't had to sacrifice anything due to being on 1 salary.
Anyway, we're happy with the decision and that's all that matters. I appreciate it's not for everyone but isn't that what feminism is about? Giving us choices?

I have always worked since having my DC and had a rewarding career which was well paid, meaningful and enabled me to weather the storm of divorce. Everything I own I earned myself. But now I'm in my late 50s I know I would prefer to work a bit more part time if I could. I certainly have nothing left to prove.

Wow a lot of replies on here!
Thanks for everyone's input I can totally see both sides of people's opinions.
I just want to say though, that it was never my intention to 'drip feed' information about being financially independent and spout about woman being financially independent and not stay at home mums. This wasn't what this post was about.
I wrote how I was feeling at the time and inevitably information gets missed out.
In my head it was a simple question of whether you would work if you financially didn't have to ie to get out of the house and be mentally stimulated etc.
I'm sorry if my initial post was misleading.
I do find that there have been quite a lot of assumptions about 'pensions, and being financially dependant on my husband'
As a previous poster said which is a very valid point out money is 'ours' we've both trained and worked extremely hard to get to where we are today and everything we do we do as part of a team and I support my husband in many ways other than earning money.