Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

MIL left son with strangers

171 replies

LaurenS26 · 16/07/2021 00:09

My Son is 15m, I work 4 days so he’s watched by my Mum and MIL for 2 days each. I feel very fortunate to have free childcare, he is the first Grandchild on both sides and they completely adore him, but today has me questioning my MIL.

MIL stopped by a cash and carry to pick up 1 item but due to a no under 16s policy they wouldn’t allow her in with my Son. She asked if she could pay for the item at the door (apparently very important she made the purchase right there and then), but they couldn’t do that and offered to watch my Son while she ran inside to pick up and pay for the item. My MIL then left my Son in the trolley with a few of the female staff at the front door while she ran inside.

She decided to tell me this information in front of my 2 BIL, their partners and my FIL so I really don’t feel like I was given an opportunity to process the information and react. Now that I’m home and thinking about the situation I feel sick to my stomach about all the things that could have happened.

My Husband is going to speak with her but I feel like she would do this again and just not tell us next time.

Am I overthinking this? Or is she completely in the wrong?

OP posts:
babbi · 16/07/2021 00:14

I think you are way overthinking this .
It wasn’t random members of the public, it was staff from the store who weren’t going to be going anywhere with him.
He was probably enjoying being cooed over and admired by the ladies !!
Honestly chill out ,it’s fine

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 16/07/2021 00:17

This is such a non event, I wouldn't even mention it. They were members of staff and she was a few minutes, and not very far away.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 16/07/2021 00:20

you are overreacting.
I had left kids with Tesco stuff when I was pg and had to run to loo to be sick.
it's a non-event and nothing happened.
your MIL jugded the situation correctly, got job done, all good.

I wouldn't even mention it

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting
SmidgenofaPigeon · 16/07/2021 00:21

What do you think would have happened to him?
They’d sell him on to child traffickers while she shopped?! Sick to your stomach? Goodness me.

MyCatDribbles · 16/07/2021 00:22

What do you think could have happened OP that made you sick to your stomach?

ForgedInFire · 16/07/2021 00:23

I can understand why you were uncomfortable but I don't think your MIL was wrong. Tell her you don't want her to do that in future because it makes you anxious and she ought to respect that. I used to work in a business that didn't allow under 18s, so I would occasionally watch children outside for a few minutes- it was a nice break to chat to them for a couple of minutes.

Aquamarine1029 · 16/07/2021 00:24

In your subject line you said she left your son with "strangers." Granted, you don't know them, but these women were staff members of the business, not some random bloke in the car park.

clary · 16/07/2021 00:24

I agree OP, "sick to my stomach" is something of an overreaction. What could have happened? 99.99% of people are just normal folk who in that situation just coo and cluck over the cute toddler for three minutes. All the things that could have happened? What exactly? Please don't mention it to your Mil.

BluebellsGreenbells · 16/07/2021 00:25

The majority of people are actually kind to children and wouldn’t dream of harming them. A group of female staff are hardly in cahoots to harm your child. Why would they? No doubt a few mothers between them. We should celebrate the kindness of others, not criticize it! That leads to the down fall of society.

undecided2022 · 16/07/2021 00:27

I'd be be pissed off too. My daughter is 17 months and I'd hit the roof. PFB so probably overreacting!Grin

GolfEchoRomeoTangoIndia · 16/07/2021 00:28

I’m curious. What exactly could have happened to a child left in the care of two identified female store workers for five minutes?

paddlingon · 16/07/2021 00:29

What is going to happen to a baby in a trolley being looked over by a couple of members of female staff for five minutes?

This really sounds like non event OP.

paddlingon · 16/07/2021 00:31

My dc are now teenagers so well past PFB status.
If that makes a difference.

SleepingStandingUp · 16/07/2021 00:32

What is your actual worry? About covid or other infection? That it could have been a ploy to get him alone to take him or abuse him? That an accident could have occurred? That he could have got distressed?

I think it's important to know what it is that you're worried about to know how reasonable it is.

If it was genuinely something I needed or I'd made a special trip out there I'd have probably done the same and just kept visual contact with them.

Weird policy though

Longdistance · 16/07/2021 00:32

Oh, I thought she dumped your dc on some random people, but they were staff at the business. Mountain and mole hill.

BackforGood · 16/07/2021 00:35

I agree with the overwhelming majority of people on this thread.
You are completely over reacting and I don't see why anyone would think this was an issue.

stevalnamechanger · 16/07/2021 00:35

@babbi

I think you are way overthinking this . It wasn’t random members of the public, it was staff from the store who weren’t going to be going anywhere with him. He was probably enjoying being cooed over and admired by the ladies !! Honestly chill out ,it’s fine
Agree
Maskedrevenger · 16/07/2021 00:35

I used to tell my kids that if they got lost in a shop to go to the counter and ask the shop assistant for help cause they were a safe person, they are there to do a job not to lurk about in the hope of coming across a child on their own. I would consider a staff member much safer than some random, a child was abducted from a shopping centre in our city a number of years ago, which was awful of course but even then it was a random pervert who seized his opportunity rather than a member of staff.

greenlynx · 16/07/2021 00:43

I completely understand your feelings and think that you need to mention your MIL how you’ve felt about this . Maybe just do it in a gentle way first and when you are one to one with her. We don’t know her, is it one off or is it something she would approve in general?
By the way some people do give you this feeling that you can leave your child with them so maybe it’s this situation for her. I personally wouldn’t trust my Mum’s instincts on this but would trust my MIL’s so it depends on the person very much.

rosaimay · 16/07/2021 00:44

I might well be a bit of an 'overthinker' also, as the more I think about this the more I could get myself worked up and annoyed at MIL too! I would probably say something or at least want to. But I would also worry that I was being OTT.

Rationale for being annoyed: In this current climate I'm keen for even close family to keep their hands out of my baby's face etc so wouldn't be keen on the idea of these perfect strangers with their hands all over baby (which they no doubt will have been if they were cooing over baby). They could have even kissed baby which I would really, really hate. Some people don't think!

So those would be my most immediate and realistic concerns but then I suppose you can't rule anything out. Bit extreme but they could be anyone as it's not like you need an enhanced DBS check fo work for a cash & carry or anything. The place literally doesn't allow under 18 in so it's not like these are people who work with children. Some staff could happily work there despite a record that would ban them from ever working around children.

Bottom line for me would be the fact that it's your baby and (OTT or not) you left your baby with MIL, nobody else, so she should respect that and not pass baby around for any reason.

But...I am a recent first time mum and a massive overthinker so that's not to say I'm being reasonable 😄

pallisers · 16/07/2021 00:53

I brought my 3 to the supermarket when dd2 was a newborn and the older two (1 and 3) ran away from me. I pushed the pram at a guy behind the counter and said mind her and sprinted after them.

When the elderst was 6 months old we went to Spain and nearly every restaurant we went to, they would just take the baby from us without a word - we'd catch glimpses of him going up and down the bar in someone's arms.

GreyhoundG1rl · 16/07/2021 01:07

They were staff Confused. They weren't going anywhere.

Ozanj · 16/07/2021 01:13

Pull yourself together woman. They were with Staff! Staff! On any given day our local Costco manager has 3-4 kids in trolleys with him as their parents rush around for stuff / go back to their cars. It’s totally fine as a one off.

UsedUpUsername · 16/07/2021 01:34

Massive overreaction.

From the title, I thought she left him with a stranger but actually just had staff watch him while she finished something.

You’ll have to do something like this in the future probably, so chill.

I think you are being a bit unreasonable here

starfishmummy · 16/07/2021 01:41

I clkcked on this thread lrepared to say yabu but wjen I read what had happened, then I agree with others. Massive overreaction

Swipe left for the next trending thread