Newborn not napping well in the day

[bleachblondemom]

My baby is 3 weeks old and for nearly a week he’s struggled to nap during the day. Sometimes he has 2-3 hours, but a lot of the time I can only get him down for about half an hour. He spends so much time awake it worries me as I’ve read they should only be awake for about an hour at a time at this age. His feeding is all over the place because he wants to eat when he wakes up then by the time he’s ready to sleep again he’s also hungry. He’s also noticing he’s hungry faster because he’s awake so gets into the habit of eating little and often. Advice online is confusing me because it says to keep day times bright and noisy, but that baby needs quiet and darkness to sleep. So how do I do both? For a start my house is not dark at all during the day so I can’t even take him to a darker room just to get him off to sleep. By the end of the day he is very grizzly and overtired because he hasn’t had much good quality sleep in the day/evening. But to be fair to him he does sleep some really good 4-5 hour stretches during the night. I feel like I can barely breathe when I put him down to nap during the day as I know he will wake up at any moment. Also feel like I’m having to force him to go to sleep rather than being able to spot his sleepy signs and just put him down and let him go happily to sleep. Any advice?

@Ahorsecalledseptember same, DS has been asleep in his sling since half 10! Having a feed now with his nan (my mom)

It's been interesting to read everyone's stories. Yesterday I really hit rock bottom. I went to bed at 8 last night and my husband had the little lady. I find it so desperately sad not to be with him when he's been at work all day. He then can't up and we did the handover. Sure I felt better for a couple of hours sleep but my heart feels permanently broken the I hardly see my husband. He's also in the spare room. So looking forward to him being back at the weekend ❤️

We had the most 'normal' newborn sleep last night. 1:30-3:45

1:20 feed and then nappy changing and messing round trying to get her down an extra 40 minutes. She went back at 5:45 and woke 7:45 for food.

I'm struggling to expressing anything the last few days. I'm wondering if it's stress. I felt so depressed yesterday and completely helpless. I've only got 2 ounces today. I hope I'm not stopping producing 😞

Stress and tiredness definitely impact on milk production.

You may need to lower your expectations of time with your husband for now. It’s just not reality.

mycrazy I get email updates from bounty et al and they all mention sex and contraception and I am baffled as to how ... we don’t sleep in the same bed, even!

Poor DH, hopefully this will improve! I do want another but no idea how the logistics would work I must be mad, this one drives me bananas but it’s still the best.

Hi @Mycrazylife85 just to reassure you, I am breastfeeding a 3week old also (my third) and my boobs absolutely won't play-ball with expressing. Sweet bugger all comes out when I try the pump - but I definitely have plenty of milk and no trouble getting it into the baby when she feeds. So lack of milk in the bottle doesnt nec mean a prob with your supply - you're really early days in establishing a settled flow of milk production. Just keep cuddling and feeding your lovely baby and it will get better. You're doing great x

Teehee! Thank you so much ladies. I actually didn't sleep at all last night. Nothing. Our daughter went to sleep at 6:45 so I had breakfast with my husband and went to sleep at 7:45

She's just broken

I broke mine last week as well

He has been ummm can I say that with the usual disclaimers I love him and he is my world and has brought untold joy to my life but today he’s been a pain in the arse

@Ahorsecalledseptember I've just had a random thought, what does your boy's chin look like? If you Google recessed chin does it look like that?

I've just been thinking about mine and DS's feeding problems ahead of his tongue tie appointment tomorrow and I think he might have one. Upon googling it can cause babies to have issues latching and isn't something that's routinely picked up on my midwives and lactation consultants, and tongue ties are often misdiagnosed instead.

here is ds

Snap!

Oh my lord those cheeks of his, they're gorgeous!

Oh you have that babygro too! Isn’t it lovely? Yours is gorgeous, so much hair!

I’m really, really struggling today though. He won’t sleep except in the sling on me which would be fine if he’d just let me cuddle him otherwise but today it’s just been endless flailing of arms, head butting, kicking. I’ve knocked the steriliser over and made a fine mess. I’ve walked for HOURS and my back is so painful and I’m feeling horribly resentful of OH.

That was me yesterday and the day before. He was so tired in the afternoons/evenings he just cried if he wasn't sleeping or feeding and he wasn't really sleeping. It was horrible.

Today has been a much better day, and I got my first proper big social smile.

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you as well

I was so patient all of today, I kept pulling over and taking him out of his car seat and reassuring him mummy was here and loved him, I took him out on the longest walk to get him to sleep and then when I put him down at about 6 (I needed the toilet ) abs he screamed I got flustered and ran into the bedroom and knocked the steriliser flying. So carpet is now soaked! I then had to go out for a few minutes to calm down but it didn’t work as I just got overwrought as soon as I heard him crying. It’s awful, I hate how angry I feel but I just get to a point where I’m drained. When he’s like this I can’t eat or drink properly, I have to disturb OH at work to express milk (wfh) I forget to take my own meds, I feel like I give so much and ask for nothing really back . And I know it doesn’t work that way but it’s like the energy is sapped out of me and the only thing keeping me doing is raw anger. Then I feel horrific guilt.

Aww look at your beautiful bubba’s! Here’s mine, I had to join in!

@Ahorsecalledseptember DS has started doing that with me, the kicking and the head butting. I know he can’t help it and he’s not doing it with any intention but it’s so annoying, especially when I’m trying to feed him or wind him!

@bleachblondemom oh he's beautiful! And he looks so alert!

@Ahorsecalledseptember that sounds really tough, you poor things. How has today gone for you?

Well we went to the hospital today for DS's tongue tie assessment and turns out it was 80% tied I've been asking people to check it since Day 1 as I thought he had one and no one has looked properly even when I've asked. I keep thinking if we had had it cut 6 weeks ago would I have been able to give him any more milk than the minuscule amount I have?

@addler thank you 😄 everyones always commented on how alert he is, all the midwives that have seen him. Oh god as if it’s that bad and no one even wanted to check! Terrible. Thank goodness you’ve found out now, should hopefully make a world of difference. When are they sorting it?

@Ahorsecalledseptember I couldn't read your last post and not respond. My first daughter was exactly like this and I felt the same. I was run ragged, lost two stone, couldn't eat and drink properly. I haven't read the whole thread so I'm not sure of the background but do get the baby checked over for CMPA and other allergies. All the screaming is often caused by something - we didn't find out til 8 months that dd was allergic to egg and dairy. The first year of her life was utter hell.

She's three now and fabulous. Hang in there. I promise you it does get better

They cut it there and then, I think I cried more than he did which I didn't think I would but it was almost like a biological reaction to seeing him frightened and in pain and not being able to comfort him until it was finished. Then he had blood all down his chin and my boob was covered in it. I think it mixed with his saliva so it looked like so much more than there actually was!

It's weird, it's like he doesn't quite know what to do with feeding now. As if he knew what to do before even though it wasn't very productive but he learned to get around it but now he has all this movement and can't figure out what to do with his mouth! I really hope it helps his wind/hiccups/sick and that he can get some more milk out of me. I just wish this had been spotted when he was born

@addler aww I bet you did :( I wanted to cry when he was having his bloods taken because I couldn’t tell him that it was ok and he wasn’t going to be in pain forever (they really struggled and it took them so long to get enough blood, it felt endless). Great news that it’s sorted now though, hope you see a big improvement soon!

How are we all? Name change here

I’m in the bath without ds for the first time in a while!

Ds woke up at half 5 and wouldn’t go back to sleep until about half 10! I am sat here with him asleep on my chest too scared to move him to his crib 😂

I don't know if DS is going through a growth spurt but he seems incredibly hungry and incredibly sleepy. How much more can he grow?! He's already 5.5kg!

What’s 5.5 kg in stones and pounds?

We had an amazing day yesterday and then today he’s really fought napping. Just two sleeps and both very short. I think I won’t be able to watch dancing on ice! Hopefully tomorrow will be better, he does tend to be good day followed by bad day!

12 pounds!

Wow! I thought I had a whopper - he’s over 9lbs!