Late October 2020 babies - Support Thread

[Mc3209]

Graduating from Pregnancy forum into Parenting one! I feel almost grown up.

And of course everyone is welcome to join!

@DressingGown87 @Jaffas22 @DogCatDex @EmmaA96 @Parks11 @LadyB90 @Strawberries4days @LST87 @sls668 @plentyofplants @Uppsydaisy
@sunbreak @FirstSurprise001 @WaveStreet @roarfeckingroar
@Mc3209 @KitKatKit @1990shopefulftm @Lolllyf @HelenMarie1001 @Freddie1987 @BS9790 @hmeadow24 @Ghostworld @roarfeckingroarr @Glooorb @mamavee @UpsyDaisy1234 @Samk93
@60sPony @Monkeyseesmonkeydoesnt @AdventureAhead @Elizag20 @justtb @Clalou83 @SJR86 @Flora20 @Watersintheclouds @Jaffas22 @justtb

I am sorry if I missed anyone!

I regret buying tiny baby and newborn clothes, he never wore them and we didn't get through all the 0-3 months either.

@Phiphi123 welcome to the thread :)
we met a friend outdoors yesterday who had a baby the same week but until then I d seen no one since march that wasn't a midwife or delivery driver apart from DH. I hadn't even been in a shop for 8 months until a couple of weeks ago, that was a strange experience after so long.

We ve agreed we ll see my mum and grandma and that household and then see my father in law and his household for a day each at Christmas so they can finally meet baby but then that will be it for who knows how long.
DH has been very understanding about not seeing his mum's side, that's a much bigger family so too risky for us and he said to me that I was a hero for having our baby and going through a horrendous week in hospital so if they complain about it that's their problem and it's more important to him that I get to see people.

@Phiphi123 these lockdown rules are quite tedious. I occasionally meet up with a friend or colleague who is also on mat leave when going for my park walks, but that's pretty much the extent of it. My family is in a different country, which is currently in lockdown, so relatives including my mother have not met the baby yet in person. Making do with video calls.

@Phiphi123 I’ve formed a support bubble with 4 people, following advice of my Heath visitor, midwife and Counsellor. Two friends, my mum and my sister. I live alone, so was worried about being on my own, especially after having a csection, and PND etc. They are all being cautious, as they know they are my bubble. My sisters are both expecting babies in the next two months too, and their partners work away during the week. So they will need support with childcare, and getting their DCs to school.
Other friends I have met in parks and outdoor spaces for walks, which has been nice. But I would love to meet them indoors, have them round for takeaway, gin, and company, but I can’t. Some of my friends have continued to live a normal life, socialising, travelling to different parts of the country for nights out, and I’ve not seen them.
I’m in Tier 3, and have been for months.

My friends DS is 6 weeks older than my daughter, and he tested positive for COvid, which was so scary.

Everyone talking about contraception.. I haven't sorted that out yet because at the moment I'm so not ready to DTD! I'm still quite sore down there and to be very honest breastfeeding has made me feel quite sick about foreplay if you know what I mean. Add that to the fact that I hate my body at the moment. Me and DP haven't even really had a chance to cuddle because of the baby not wanting to be put down, although we have managed a couple of showers together when baby was distracted in his rocker. Have others started?

@GhostWorld I don't feel ready to DTD yet, only just past the 6 week milestone and not completely feeling like myself yet and DS only really had one night with just one night feed for the first time yesterday so not had the energy either.

@Sls668 - oh good lordy, thank you for suggesting that, I hadn't even considered a professional could suspect abuse because of it
He got his Mongolian spot about week 4/5 and (pretty bad in my opinion) haven't seen anyone professional just yet but now will be mentioning it the second I get to his next doctors appointment on Monday

@phiphi123 - I started talking to a lady in the waiting room at my 13 week scan (yes was meant to be 12wk) who was at the same stage. We moaned about how our husbands couldn't join us. I thank my lucky stars I started a conversation that day with her now because we have spoken over WhatsApp nearly every day since, and met up for walks. If our husbands were there I doubt we would have spoken to each other...an incredibly long way of saying I try and find the silver lining in such a cra

We have just moved to tier 4 but the baby groups that were allowed in tier 3 kept me sane. Its really not easy at all

In such a crap situation that should have read x

@GhostWorld we've DTD few times since, and it's slowly getting there. It felt a bit weird at first, even though my 'undercarriage' didn't suffer in the birth process. I just don't feel sexy right now, but it's nice to know my DH still finds me so.

@GhostWorld we’ve DTD a few times since, it did feel a little weird at first as for some reason I thought it would really hurt (2 stitches), but it didn’t at all. I just don’t feel all that attractive so don’t really initiate it. Somehow wearing a nursing bra 90% of the time doesn’t really make you feel great 😩😂

@20wedding19 yes and one of the main safeguarding rules we’re always advised is if there’s a bruise on a baby that isn’t mobile it’s an instant referral to social care - definitely get someone professional to log it for you. The hospital must’ve thought I was a crazy person refusing to leave 😂

@Sls668 I understand. When Rafa was born he had something that looked like an early bruise on his arm from all the manhandling during c section. I also made a point of it being documented before discharge, and I am pretty sure midwives thought I was nuts for making such a fuss over it. It went away pretty quickly and didn't develop into a full bruise, but I was taking no chances precisely for the reason you mentioned.

Deffo no sex here! Not in the headspace yet! Husband will have to do with his hand for a while 😅

Really looking forward to baby’s first Christmas even though our plans have changed with the new restrictions.. determined to make the best of it!

no chance of DTD here after an episiotomy and 3rd degree tear think itll take a while to get over the fear

Ladies, are you doing baby massage? If so, how often do you do it?

@mc3209 - I have booked a baby massage course booked in Jan but who knows at this point if that will go ahead (tier 4) what so you do? I still do plenty of skin to skin with Sol which I think I enjoy more than him at this point but it chills him out!

@Sls668 - I made a massive point at the doctors about recording his Mongolian spot.
His injections weren't actually that bad. I think I had built it up so much in my head but the reality is he had previously screamed worse in the bath than yesterday being stabbed by needles!
Im over here praying for a miracle that we go down to at least tier 3 so baby groups can resume in Jan...no family Christmas to look forward to now but DH, I and the baby will make the most out of it.
How is everyone else making the best of a bad situation? I've bought lots of posh food and probably just going to listen to Christmas tunes most of the day

@Mc3209 my health visitor service is running a baby massage class online in jan for all new mums in my local area you could check if theres anything similar

I ve realised I might have a small scar from where my second degree tear was stitched, didn't even know that was possible till now but it's not causing me any pain so hopefully it heals more overtime.

@Mc3209 I do it every evening after the bath, lie her naked on the nursery floor on a towel, and massage her. I need to look into how to do it better, but just got a few tips of the midwife. I think it helps settle her ready for bed.

I think it’s fair to say I’ve not DTD. I don’t really feel ready to confident to start dating yet.

I’m just preparing for the worst, currently in tier 3 but assume by January we will be in lockdown again.

I can’t believe it’s Christmas in a few days. What have you all got little ones for their first Christmas? I’ve just got Paige some toys, and 3-6 clothes. All practical things she will need in a few months time. I feel tight as I’m not wrapping her presents, as I would just have to unwrap them 🙈 which isn’t the same being the two of us.

@DressingGown87 what (if any) oil do you use? I haven't started doing baby massage as I heard it can be over stimulating but maybe I should start!

I'm feeling very tight now- we haven't brought anything for the baby! I'm very emotional at the mo as we were going to be spending Christmas at my families house which now we can't, I know its the same for everyone 😔

@20wedding19 I do the same thing as @DressingGown87, massage with lotion after his bath. I am improvising on the technique though. @krissy12 I will look out for those, thanks!

@DressingGown87 I got him toys. Didn't bother wrapping them, just in a gift bag (recycled from previous presents) under the tree.

Planning to do a relaxing festive holidays just the 3 of us, with plenty of food. I am seeing it as a bonding time for 3 of us as a nuclear family.

@GhostWorld I’ve just been using children’s farm baby oil. I thought that too when they said do it after her bath. But found it a great way to soothe her, and moisturise her skin after a bath too.

Don’t worry about not getting the baby anything. I wasn’t going to bother. But then thought I would just get her things she is going to need longterm. Are you also in Tier 4, can you form a bubble with another household as you have a child under 1? hopefully things will get easier in 2021.

@DressingGown87 I haven't got the bubba anything significant... just a lil puffer jacket from m&s. Kinda wish that her had a more special present for his first Christmas like a special toy or something. I may find something in the sales! He wouldn't know whether he unwrapped it for Christmas or in 2021 😂

@Mc3209 not consistently doing baby massages. I was going to look for a class but not sure about it all now due to Covid. I use the neals yard baby oil (make sure it is the oil and NOT the massage oil as that's for 3 months old +) and just gently rub it on bubba sometimes. I should do it more I think!

We're the same with Xmas presents. Just got her an outfit to wear on the day and a soft toy from jelly cats. Already opened up her baby gym that was meant to be for Xmas as I felt she was getting bored. We haven't done baby massage because of how she is with the cold. Tried rubbing the oil or cream in our hands to warm it up but still hated it. Try again at some point!