Late October 2020 babies - Support Thread

[Mc3209]

Graduating from Pregnancy forum into Parenting one! I feel almost grown up.

And of course everyone is welcome to join!

@DressingGown87 @Jaffas22 @DogCatDex @EmmaA96 @Parks11 @LadyB90 @Strawberries4days @LST87 @sls668 @plentyofplants @Uppsydaisy
@sunbreak @FirstSurprise001 @WaveStreet @roarfeckingroar
@Mc3209 @KitKatKit @1990shopefulftm @Lolllyf @HelenMarie1001 @Freddie1987 @BS9790 @hmeadow24 @Ghostworld @roarfeckingroarr @Glooorb @mamavee @UpsyDaisy1234 @Samk93
@60sPony @Monkeyseesmonkeydoesnt @AdventureAhead @Elizag20 @justtb @Clalou83 @SJR86 @Flora20 @Watersintheclouds @Jaffas22 @justtb

I am sorry if I missed anyone!

@Mc3209 thank you. We tried co sleeping didn’t work, I ended up with a nose bleed from her thrashing so much. Will get the book.

@BlueLilyLilyBlue hope he’s loving the ball pit. It’s so hard to keep them entertained sometimes. Thank you, yea I’ve been leaving her in the cot now, and naps extending, and night sleep is improving. The other day she had 2X2hour naps and then 13.5hrs at night solid, I think she was finally catching up. But then a couple of days later we where back on catnaps and broken / screaming sleep. But will keep preserving.

@krissy12 not any real advice. As Paige is still refusing most food. Her new thing is to cover her mouth, and shake her head. Then get more and more distressed. But then she is also refusing some milk (but slowly getting better), but not eating food 🤦🏽‍♀️. I did speak to her dietician the other day (due to my struggle with weaning), and she said babies start dropping milk feeds around 7-9months moving to around 4 feeds. Then about 9-12months will gradually reduce to about 3 feeds, usually lunch time bottle is the first to go. Until 12mo “food is fun” and just extra, and the milk is the main calorie intake. You will see your baby gradually reduce the amount of milk at each feed, the more weaning is established.
Don’t know if that’s any use, or if she was just trying to make me feel better, feeling like a weaning failure. Personally I would say if he’s eating meals and enjoying it, and still wanting the milk, keep at it.

@krissy12 I think if he's finishing them I would keep going with them - they're supposed to start replacing milk with solids but very slowly. So I would probably take his lead and see. Milk is still supposed to be their main source of nutrition until 1 and my GP said as long as they get about 20 ounces of milk a day to not worry about the ratio of milk to food, they'll sort it out themselves over time. My friend's 5yo didn't really eat properly or drop many bottles until she was 18mo but is a really good eater now.

@DressingGown87 Glad she's getting there even if it's up and down! My DS is also all over the place, I think it's the nap transition / 8 month sleep regression.

thanks for your advice I'll keep going with the milk was just getting a bit concerned he's now having 2 good sized meals and 35oz of milk but I'm sure it'll all work out

@BlueLilyLilyBlue how you getting on with the nap transition? I feel like the days where mine just has two, he thinks bed time is a nap and wakes up after about an hour for quite a while before going back to sleep again but then bed time seems to keep going later and later if we allow three naps because his wake windows are getting longer! Going with the flow atm but hating the lack of structure compared to a month ago

@Buttonsandbits exact same scenario here!! Two naps mean an early bedtime where he thinks it's a nap and then wakes for the day at 5.30am but I tried to engineer 3 naps yesterday by waking and it was a massive struggle to fit it in and he still woke up a lot overnight. I need to just go with his flow I think. Totally know what you mean about lack of structure- I'm supposed to be going out with my DH today but we couldn't decide on a time because I was like "if he wakes then, we'll have a window of x but if he wakes then, his next nap will be y" - I hate the unpredictability!

My LO is not warming to my dad despite my dad's best efforts, him being smiley and high pitched and not too loud, any tips? It's breaking my heart my dad just wants a cuddle with him but he screams straight away haha

@GhostWorld awww, they can be so particular sometimes can’t they. Could you leave DS playing on the floor with some of his favourite toys, and leave the room. Then your dad sit with him and play? I found DD doesn’t like one of my friends, but it’s mainly when I’m around.

How is everyone fitting meals and feeds in now, I’m starting to confuse myself!
LO is one of the youngest in our group, she’ll be 7 months on Thursday. She’s bf with one bottle of formula a day. She’s been having 2 meals a day and LOVES her food, honestly I can’t believe how much she can eat! At present, I’m still offering her milk feeds at waking (usually 7ish), 10, 1, 4 and 7pm ish. Usually the 1 or 4pm milk is formula and she’ll have about 6/7oz. However the breast feeds, she is mostly just messing about, bobbing on and off the boob for 10 mins. She stops to stroke the dog, stops to watch the tv, stops to dance 🙄 stops to look at a toy (you get the picture!). Which milk feeds are people still doing as I know I’m wasting my time with some of them!

@Sls668 our day looks roughly like this: 7am wake, 7.30am milk 6/7oz, 8.30am breakfast, 9-10am nap, 11.30am milk 7oz, sometimes lunch before next nap or after depending on plans, nap 12-1.30pm, 4pm milk, 4.30-5pm nap, 6pm tea, 7.30pm milk 8oz.

However, I think we’re nearing naps transitioning to two and that really throws timings if he just has the two and we sometimes end up with a bottle less or meal less somewhere. No signs of dropping any feeds yet though so the day is one non stop cycle atm haha. Mines a couple of weeks older than yours x

@Sls668 we do bottles at 8, 12, 4 and 7/8 now - but he's only just naturally dropped one moving to 2 naps (used to be 8, 11, 2, 5 and 7/8). Still mostly just on two meals but last couple of days I've given him an evening meal. He loves his food too but I feel like all I ever do is make food and clean up

@GhostWorld no tips I'm afraid - my DS quite frequently screams at family members!! One day he's fine with them and the next screams.

@Sls668 maybe not very comparable as we are hit and miss with food, although today DD has has THREE meals, which is a huge difference to none 😂
A good day: 7.00-7.30 wake, bottle. 8.30 breakfast, 9.30-10.30 nap 11.00 bottle, 12.30 lunch, 1.00-2.30 nap 3.00 bottle, 4.30-5.00 nap* 7.00 bottle and bedtime.

However naps of that length are few and far between, typically 45minues, or sometimes 2 hours and a 2nap day. Sometimes meals are refused. Sometimes we have a 5 bottle day or even a night feed.

@Buttonsandbits and @BlueLilyLilyBlue we also struggle with the unpredictable routine. There is only so much go with the flow, when trying to make plans, I can do.

@DressingGown87 we are back to a night feed although only about 3oz but I’m thinking it may be thirst during this heat? God knows...my routine is also on a very good day...today has consisted of a 30 minute then a 3 hour nap this afternoon?? Don’t think he went that long as a newborn so we will see what tonight holds haha

Little update! I've not been on for aaaaages. My little Alf is 7 months today and is a complete monster 😂 but so so cute.

We've been muddling our way through a cmpa and now a serious egg allergy which resulted in a 999 call and trip in an ambulance which was terrifying.

He's terrible for flip flopping in his cot at bed/nap times and gets so cross at being upside down and needs re positioning multiple times until he settles. He also shouts all. day. long. and isn't entertained by anything 😜

But he's absolutely gorgeous and he's a love.

@Sls668 Oscar is still getting breast milk at regular intervals and I offer him milk before food. Totally agree about the bobbing on and off. He used to feed for 30 mins per boob. Now it can be as short as 5 mins! If it is 5 mins I do put him back on for a second round just to see if he want some more. I have been told by LC that they are pretty efficient in getting the milk and so not to worry if it is short. Also if they need milk they will tank up during the night.

We are pretty awful at routines but roughly it looks like this;

1. 6-8am wake for bf
2. 8:30-9am breakfast
3. 10:00am ish morning nap (only 30 mins. An hour if I'm lucky)
4. 11:00am wake for bf
5. 12:30-13:00 lunch (mainly because husband is taking lunch then)
6. 14:00-15:00pm ish afternoon nap (again not long)
7. 15:00-16:00 wake for bf
8. sometimes he goes for a nap near 6pm. I really don't want to give him that but he can get super cranky if he doesn't have it
9. 18:30 dinner
10. 19:30 bath
11. 20:00 bf feed to go down Am trying to make that 20:00 earlier so sometimes we can make it 19:30

During the night he usually wakes midnight for a feed and then 4/5am for another. And then sometimes he just gets up for the day or I can coax him down for another cat nap before waking.

Hope this helps!

@Buttonsandbits hope the 3hr nap didn’t throw things off too much. We had a cat nap day, and then a unsettled night 🤦🏽‍♀️

@Monkeyseesmonkeydoesn aww that’s so scary, hope he’s ok now. I think Paige is allergic to egg, but nothing as serious. Just very unsettled and bad nappies afterwards. How you finding weaning with CMPA? She’s a monster too and VERY loud, but cute with it. They are growing into their personalities a lot now.

Hi Ladies, hope you and babies are well! Been a whole since I've checked in, Noah is now 8months and 2 weeks. He transitioned to two naps just before he turned 8 months. His schedule looks something like this

7.30am wake, 8am breakfast
10.30 bottle and bed
12 pm wake, 12.30 lunch
3.30/4 bottle and bed
5 wake, 5.30/6 dinner
8/8.30 bottle and bed
He really struggles with BLW, he chokes and gags a lot, he has mostly what we have for dinner but just a mashed up version not fully puréed anymore so it does have a few lumpy bits which he can manage. I do try to give him finger food, the only thing he can manage without gagging and vomiting everything out is the Ellas kitchen melty sticks. I'm sure he will get there soon.

I just wanted to share how different babies are, and for the FTMs don't worry if other babies are doing things that your baby aren't, it will not effect their development or intelligence when they grow up. He has just started sitting up confidently unaided, he was always able to sit up from around 5 months but always threw himself back and downright refused to. He still throws himself back now. Noah has never rolled fully over, he will scream at tummy time as he hates it and will cry until I pick him up again, he just rolls from side to side sometimes. Nowhere near crawling! I'm not worried, and I'm quite glad as I know from experience when they do finally get mobile your whole life changes lol! I just think I have a lazy baby and I'm enjoying the fact he doesn't move when I put him down for as long as I can.

@dressinggown87 nice to meet a fellow weaning struggler. It's an absolute nightmare here she won't eat a thing. Purses her lips and turns her head. I've shed many tears over it.

@SamK93 nice to hear you update, it’s true they are so different. We still Gag ALOT, and also don’t roll front to back.

@Fredsgirl19 it’s horrible isn’t it. I’ve also shed lots of tears, mealtimes are just horrific here. Hope it gets easier for you soon.

Anyone else finding this stage absolutely exhausting, and hard? 8mo I thought things would get easier.
Sleep… what sleep. She went to bed at 2.15am last night. Hours and hours of crying seems to be the norm every night. Naps, few and far between and mainly cat naps. No structure or routine, so can never plan to do anything. Soon as she’s put down, rolls on to the front, screams until she’s but back, can’t roll back herself.
Weaning… hates food. Clamps shut. But then loves it when she gives it a go. Various tests for different allergies. Now says NO a lot, with crossed arms. Constant cycle of preparing food, for it to be thrown and refused, mopping the kitchen floor. Can’t really give her what I eat, due to allergies.
Milk… now hates that too. Will refuse every bottle. Gone down to around 12oz per day, topped up with night feed (which had been dropped at 6weeks), from around 35-40oz.
Still hates tummy time, although will go into crawling position, then scream. Sitting she is fine. But not wants to stand and pulls herself up on everything.
I’m just physically and mentally drained. At the minute I have a norovirus, and trying to look after her whilst being ill, is so hard. The weeks seem to pass, abs things just get worse. Only thing she likes is childcare.

@DressingGown87 so sorry to hear you’re not well, it’s hard enough as it is without illness on top of everything! I weirdly felt a sense of relief reading your latest reply as this has without a doubt been the hardest stage so far and I was feeling like I’d gone wrong somewhere so I’m glad to know I’m not alone. Sleep is also a nightmare here, resorted to cosleeping and putting DH in spare bed but then DS is still waking up for stints of up to two hours in the night sometimes just agitated and refusing to go back to sleep - sometimes feeds sometimes doesn’t which also makes it hard to preempt. I’ve also been a recluse as of late bar a few walks as like you said, routine is non existent so can’t plan much and I’m also so tired I just spend my time napping when he does. God help me when I go back to work. What kinds of foods have you been offering and what allergies does she have? I started with a combination of pureed and BLW and most of the time just end up giving finger foods of what I’m eating…that being said I’ve shifted what I eat a bit so I can easily just give him a bit (eg had homemade fish goujons potato wedges and veg the other day but in the past I’d have probably just had shop bought breaded fish frozen chips and mushy peas lol)

@DressingGown87 this stage is so incredibly hard, she is most definitely going through the 8 month sleep regression by the sounds of it. Things will settle, she will get back into a routine I promise you it's just a phase, has she cut any teeth through? She used to be such a good sleeper before! They do say if they've done it before, they will do it again. So just hang in there. It must be so hard being ill yourself, I know you have lack of help too but you do need to be feeling okay and well rested yourself to look after a baby, is there anyone that could give you a night off? At least until you're feeling better yourself. Honestly it won't last forever although it feels like it now they do grow out of these phases.
Im struggling myself too, he just wants constant attention whilst he's awake and he will scream if I put him down, he's always moaning and whining for no apparent reason at all, he absolutely hates other people, if anyone tries to pick him up other than me and his dad he will scream and cry the place down. My in laws house is a total no go, he cries from the moment we step in the door up until we leave. My mother in law must think I've made him this way! I feel awful that his grandparents, or aunties/uncles can't pick him up or play with him but he just doesn't go to anybody all.

Ah in a similar boat over here although mine is crawling which is exhausting, hes constantly on the go. The main thing that is breaking me at the moment is nappy changes, it is a full on wrestling match for every single one, it doesn't matter what I give him to play with he just wants to get up and go! For blw one thing I found that has kind of changed his mind about eating is melon, but before that he had no interest at all so maybe its just finding that 'gateway' food ha. But yes I was crying this evening eating my dinner stood over the hobs while he threw pasta on the floor and shouted as loud as he could.. its tough!

Solidarity here. Suddenly very opinionated about everything, moaning incessantly when he doesn't get his way, lots of shouting, wrestling match with nappy changing, 4 upper teeth coming through, waking for hours at night and smacking his legs into the cot, completely all over the place in terms of routine and naps. The only good thing is he gives everything a go with BLW.

Hope you feel better soon @DressingGown87

@Fletcher567 your definitely not alone, and I’m glad my message gave you some reassurance. I now realise what a dream she was (despite CMPA and reflux) as a baby. Atleast at that point she was still and small enough to be rocked and settled easily in my arms, with cuddles. I’ve tried cosleeping, benefit of being single I don’t have a partner that I need to kick out. But she just tries and escapes the bed, pulls my hair and pokes me all night. She has a baby Annabel and Is obsessed with pulling her eyelids open, so she thinks she can do that to me. It’s so hard as you want to get out, but feel like you can’t plan anything, then feel worse for staying in. But it’s a phase and it will be forgotten about soon enough (hopefully). DD is CMPA, but also been advised to avoid Apple, carrot, egg, soya, and possibly gluten. Whilst we are sure of the milk allergy, we are testing to see if the other foods are making her unsettled. We started with that combo too, and I try and give her things like sweet potato, pasta, rice cakes, toast.

@SamK93 thank you. Yes she was such a good sleeper, and I was lucky that she slept through from such a young age. But all went down hill at 6 months, I know she can do it though. We have the odd good night too. But there seems to be ALOT of nights where she will be up for 3-6 hours just crying. She has 3 teeth, which she’s had for awhile now. My cousin has come this evening and bathed her and put her to bed, so I can have a meal. Once she finishes work for the summer she will have her over night, but I’m struggling to find people to help as they all say she is extremely “difficult”. Is he having separation anxiety? I read that hightens at this age? It’s so mentally draining when they are constantly moaning at you all day long, so completely sympathize with you there. Hopefully he will soon learn to be around other people.
@GhostWorld have you tried pull up nappies? Read they are good for mobile babies, and easier to get on. I was crying too trying to eat tonight, whilst she screamed at me and threw it on the floor. It’s so exhausting. Hope he gets better soon.

@BlueLilyLilyBlue glad it’s not just me. Hope the teeth come through soon. They can be so opinionated, loud and stubborn for such small people. The attitude of DD now scares me about the teenage years 😂 thank you, I am feeling better tonight, last night was horrific.

Sending strength. You got this, mamas. This too shall pass.
@GhostWorld I feel you, mine is crawling too, and it's non stop. With nappy changes, I found if I put my slightly bent leg over his tummy (so he is sideways to me), that stops/slows him from flipping over and crawling away, and gives me more time to do the nappy.