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Original poster

School head ordered my daughter to sit on her own

231 replies

coclala · 02/12/2020 01:22

My 3 year old daughter woke up and asked for milk. Then she told me something and I am stunned.
She has a very close friend at school. She almost only play with her. In the parents meeting last week, her class teacher mentioned nothing more than she and that girl had a great relationship. In the meeting there was also head of pre school. The following is from my daughter : Today, the head came into her class and ask her to move to another table to separate her and her best friend. My daughter said no. Then she was asked to sit on her own. My daughter was scared to tell me that the head asked her to move the table. I was getting very emotional.

If you were me, how would you react?

I want to have a chat with the head tomorrow morning and ask her why she wanted to separate my daughter and her best friend before I send my daughter in. I guess we may have to change school if the chat was unsuccessful.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

SoupDragon · 02/12/2020 09:30

Not sure why you feel the need to be pedantic on OP’s behalf @SoupDragon. I said “what sounds like most of the day” on the basis am that the DS’s complaint was being separated from her friend so it would follow that this was more than a fleeting separation.

I'm not being pedantic I'm disagreeing with you because nothing the OP said implies that at all.

Arosadra · 02/12/2020 09:35

Three year olds in Wales are at school MiaowMix - they attend half days.

Arosadra · 02/12/2020 09:37

OP, I wouldn’t worry and definitely wouldn’t be thinking about changing schools. It could just be that they were changing activity or being split into different groups for something. Or it could be that they wanted them to mix with other children. It will be healthier for both of them not to be overly reliant on each other. After all, your dd will have days when her friend is off sick or she might even move away.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3 year olds Families General parenting

MiaowMix · 02/12/2020 09:43

Actual school, not nursery in Wales? I'm amazed. Didn't think children started school anywhere before 4. Actual school, not nursery/kindergarten within a school.

Anyway I think this is all an unlikely scenario and none of it rings true. But thanks for posters telling me what to focus on 👍🏼👍🏼 😂
I'll focus on what I like, thanks!
Bloody hell. First on this site 15 years ago. Now I remember why I never bloody post!

midnightstar66 · 02/12/2020 09:47

It's not actually minor to me, school implies a formality and structure, and I just found it very confusing. And misleading
I suppose it depends where you are - I'm in Scotland where play based learning is used in some schools until the end of p2 so school doesn't necessarily mean that to me. I have friends in Wales and they always refer ti their dc starting school once they start the school setting nursery at age 3. They tend to wear uniform etc. It could even be that OP is not in the Uk where set ups can be very different.

My school had a nursery class attached and it was an integral part of the school. Some parents referred to it as school, some as nursery. The Head never walked in and moved children around, though.

Some smaller school nurseries don't have their own nursery teachers (actually neither do some bigger ones now) they'll have a senior early years worker and the head teacher has over all charge and will often be involved on a teacher level/come in to do sessions or assessments. It really varies throughout the Uk nations and even between local authorities- or it could be that op isn't even in the UK. Dd1 went to nursery in a country where people often use it as an example of dc not starting school til age 7, but she was in a class at desks aged 3 with a teacher and an assistant and the head would come in sometimes and assist/assess.

SockDrawer · 02/12/2020 09:49

3 year olds don’t sit at tables do they? Was it maybe for a few minutes snack or something? Or maybe they’ve chosen to go to the writing table or construction table etc together?

None of the schools I’ve ever worked in had set desks for nursery or reception classes.

midnightstar66 · 02/12/2020 09:51

Actual school, not nursery in Wales? I'm amazed. Didn't think children started school anywhere before 4. Actual school, not nursery/kindergarten within a school.

It's pre school in that it's play based and less hours - but they call it school. It's just a word that has different meanings in different areas which is why it's not really relevant to the post.

CoconutGrove · 02/12/2020 09:52

I would react by saying "If a teacher asks you to do something, you need to do it, not say "No" and refuse." Id then enquire with the nursery about what happened

mooncakes · 02/12/2020 09:55

How would I react?

I'd say "oh dear, you must always do as Mrs X asks you to do."

I'd imagine what happened is, at that particular moment your DD was misbehaving with her friend and was moved away.

Or the teacher was coming in to do a specific activity with one or other child.

Or it was lunch time and children are grouped by allergies or something and not necessarily choosing their own seats.

midnightstar66 · 02/12/2020 09:55

*3 year olds don’t sit at tables do they? Was it maybe for a few minutes snack or something? Or maybe they’ve chosen to go to the writing table or construction table etc together?
*
Our school nursery has drawing and activity table, a play doh table, a messy table for painting and gluing and an table for snacks and meals. Children will be sat at them throughout the day, sometimes our of choice and other times for planned activities like baking, crafts or doing assessments/observations with an adult/ in a small group.

lookhappy · 02/12/2020 09:56

Has anyone said this, not RTFT, but surely she meant Year 3 child, not age 3 child? That'd make more sense?

mooncakes · 02/12/2020 09:58

And to be honest if a parent came in and said "at some point yesterday a teacher might have asked my child to move seats, what happened?" the staff would probably struggle to remember

MiaowMix · 02/12/2020 09:58

I've only had children in the school system for ten years. Thanks for the education. 😂

Pre school still isn't school, no matter who calls it that.

gottakeeponmovin · 02/12/2020 10:00

I would be more concerned that a three year old said no when asked to move by a teacher

Crustmasiscoming · 02/12/2020 10:03

I'm not taking this bait.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 02/12/2020 10:05

She's 3, I would take it with a pinch of salt. They probably don't want your child being so co dependant on one other child. My ds did this and I couldn't wait for him to break away from the child and make some more friends. Perhaps your dd is holding the other girl back aswell.
I would be a bit annoyed if a head teacher asked my child to move and they refused. Quite rude really.

TiaandTamera · 02/12/2020 10:06

I could never be a teacher. I don't know how they do it.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 02/12/2020 10:06

Also confused about her having a class teacher at 3?

SleepingStandingUp · 02/12/2020 10:06

I don't trust my 5 yo to retell accurately so I go with a "BOB mentioned something about having to move tables yesterday and seemed a bit upset, I just wondered if you knew what has actually happened?" then there's no anger and no blame

satnighttakeaway · 02/12/2020 10:08

@gottakeeponmovin

I would be more concerned that a three year old said no when asked to move by a teacher

I thought that too, I'm interested in what the OP finds out at the school today, the teacher may have a very different version of events

mooncakes · 02/12/2020 10:09

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

Also confused about her having a class teacher at 3?

I'm confused that you're confused

Nursery classes usually have teachers.

SleepingStandingUp · 02/12/2020 10:11

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

Also confused about her having a class teacher at 3?

Who do you want to run the class?

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 02/12/2020 10:12

When my youngest was 3 he told me he had to climb over the fence around the preschool garden to catch a witch because she'd stolen his thumb. Thankfully he told me that she gave it back when he caught her, and he got back into preschool through a tunnel before snack time.

Its possible, I suppose, that he hadn't quite grasped the difference between what happened at preschool, and what he daydreamed about at preschool...

midnightstar66 · 02/12/2020 10:14

Also confused about her having a class teacher at 3?

Im not even a teacher and all the kids from nursery right through to primary 2 (i work across those year groups) call me 'teacher' when they they can't remember my name. They may or may not have an actual class teacher depending on the individual nursery and where in the country or indeed world they are . Ours did until this school year where they removed teachers from nurseries in our LA however ours is still currently very involved in the nursery. Just like 'school' it's just a term and not really relevant to the post. Not sure why people always pick up on the irrelevant bits 😆

deplorabelle · 02/12/2020 10:17

Also the Head could have been in the room already for all sorts of reasons (observation, learning walk or providing cover because a teacher or support staff had to leave unexpectedly. Even to cover for a planned absence because the supply budget won't stretch)

She could have been asked to move very briefly (not her turn at the painting table for example).

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