School head ordered my daughter to sit on her own

[coclala]

My 3 year old daughter woke up and asked for milk. Then she told me something and I am stunned.
She has a very close friend at school. She almost only play with her. In the parents meeting last week, her class teacher mentioned nothing more than she and that girl had a great relationship. In the meeting there was also head of pre school. The following is from my daughter : Today, the head came into her class and ask her to move to another table to separate her and her best friend. My daughter said no. Then she was asked to sit on her own. My daughter was scared to tell me that the head asked her to move the table. I was getting very emotional.

If you were me, how would you react?

I want to have a chat with the head tomorrow morning and ask her why she wanted to separate my daughter and her best friend before I send my daughter in. I guess we may have to change school if the chat was unsuccessful.

Carry lots of salt with you. You'll need it. Separating her from the best friend is probably to allow her to concentrate more, or to allow her to make otrher friends as well. Maybe per BFFs' parents wanted it to happen. Go in calm and easy, you could have ompletely the wrong end of the story.
And as for getting emotional, geta grip. You could be making mountains out of molehills here. Your DD will run circles around you if you cannot control having emotional responses to situations.

@coclala I find it extremely admirable that you’re wanting to ensure you keep a close bond and be a good mother to your daughter, especially since you didn’t have that yourself. It’s extremely tough trying to figure out how to do that when you’ve never had the example set for you and I think you deserve a lot of credit for that.

Unfortunately as one mother who never had a good mother herself to another, very rarely will your bond with your child be stress free You’re going to spend the rest of your life worrying and stressing about your child, and that’s completely normal. Just try to see the real stresses from the ones that aren’t really an issue and just you wanting to protect your child

I once had my friend's three year old tell me that my daughter had kicked him. When I asked her about it she said she had kicked him out of her room, not kicked him, because he had punched her in the boob. His own sister concured. When I asked him why he had said she kicked him he ran away. So yeah, definitely ask a teacher what happened.

You’d move her to a different nursery school because she was moved to a different table to her friend?? Major over-reaction! You’ve got a very, very bumpy school ride if this is your reaction to something so insignificant

Whilst it’s ‘cute’ to foster ‘best friends’, in reality it ends up causing problems. Far better to encourage wider friendships to avoid the jealousy that inevitably follows. Much better to get on with lots of people than an exclusive friendship. This is what I always encouraged my 3 children to do.

'Arosadra kids who say an outright no to their teachers are going to have a very rough ride through their school years.

It's possible to learn how to behave at school, yet still have the confidence and ability to deal with coercion from other quarters. Virtually everyone went through the school system, yet the population is by no means unquestioning.'

This child is at nursery, not school. I am sure that her nursery teachers have experienced worse than this with other children. If a nursery is really run on a basis of 'children must never contradict' (and there's no evidence that this one is), then I would worry. With very young children, I think it's particularly important not to make them feel that they're not allowed to question anything that an adult tells them. I don't mean that they should be encouraged to have toddler tantrums, or to refuse as a habit, but 'never contradict grownups' as an absolute rule can be dangerous. I don't think that parents should either blindly side with the child (as the OP may be doing) or with the adults.

While I don't think that the population of this country is unquestioning, I do think that a significant number have a problem with authority in either direction- either just obeying someone because they're in charge without considering the reasons, or refusing to respect rules and policies on principle because 'no one's going to tell me what to do!' The pandemic has shown up this problem. I don't think that school experiences have much to do with it,. ButI do think that a contributory factor may be a general attitude that you obey someone because they're of higher status, not because they know more, and therefore obeying rules may be seen as an admission of low status and therefore humiliating; or alternatively if someone in authority acts in a way that reduces their status for you (Dominic Cummings!!!) it becomes OK to ignore the rules altogether.

I'm getting a bit off topic now, but I think that the main point is for the OP to find out what actually happened before getting upset.