What baby first were stolen from you?

[alesha123445]

I've read its common for people to try and steal babies firsts and im interested to hear peoples stories.
A family member brought up taking my lo for her first shoe fitting, wanting to buy them the first rocking horse for Christmas knowing I've already picked one and that its a big deal to me, buying my babies first toothbrush without asking, asking to buy my babies first year old outfit. Sometimes ill nod it off and say yes, but deep down I have no intention of allowing it and I won't be using any of the firsts people buy anyway. I really want to hear about others experiences with people attempting or successfully stealing their babies firsts.

@ShottaSheriff I'm so sorry. Miscarriage also stole my first, second, third, and forth Baby

What a weird way to look at things. You sound very insecure.

I had a very long painful birth and when my son was born they gave him straight to my husband was disappointed that I went through all that and was not the first to hold him

I have no idea, I figured people have enough going on in their own lives without conspiraing to 'steal' something off a baby, and do people have an app set up or an excel spreadsheet, instagram pages etc. to record their babies firsts (or not) so these people with so much invested in other babies lives can track what they can steal?

Maybe there can be a baby stealing first advent calendar?

I'm going to be honest- I don't get this. Putting a single event above your own happiness because you still think about a something that took probably seconds and still being bitter about it absolutely confuses me. I have a happy child, and don't care who saw the first anything as she is healthy and happy

With the greatest respect @alesha123445 it does sound as though you're putting a lot of emphasis on these minute (in the grand scheme) things which can be a sign of PND - I don't know where you read about these "stealers" but please don't think it's a standard concern, it's irrational.

Mine are 14 and 7 and I honestly couldn't tell you what outfits they wore, who picked them and I'm pretty sure both their first tooth brushes came free in some sort of baby pack.

In fact I don't even think I can reliably say when they started walking, first teeth etc because it's just not that important to me anymore.

@OhTheRoses....Huge hugs xxxx

My son took his first steps next door. I was very close to my next door neighbour and his daughter - he was in his seventies and she in late forties - just for context. I had handed the baby over to them and they took him in their house and he walked for the first time.

They told me. Luckily I did not mind. They were so happy that he did that with them and I don't think they considered that i could have been upset about it.

With my grandchildren I have witnessed loads of 'firsts'. I said nothing to the parents. There was no need to tell someone who was working that their child had done something they would rather have seen before anyone else, and when they told me themselves that their child had achieved a goal that I had already witnessed, I was pleased for them.

Nobody took away my firsts of anything with my two children many years ago, as we lived 60 miles away from families, who did not see the babies for about a month, and I asked them not to get me anything for the babies when they finally came to visit. but both my late Mum. and late MIL, were both prolific knitters, so they gave us a few little knitted items, but that was ok.

Yep, mil tried with a couple things already but it's not happening I stand my ground

Some of these things I get - 1st nursery theme and first santa stocking being done by someone else would make me sad. Part of me thinks that you probably needed to say something at the time though....

But things like 1st toothbrush....no. A bigger part me think thats if you're THAT precious you've got deeper issues that need working on.

OP when you've been brushing someone's teeth for 8 years, you really don't get that excited!

Honestly, if you can even remember this stuff when you have teenagers, I'd be very surprised

Ridiculous moaning here. Be grateful you have people in your dcs life who care enough to buy these things. Many people can oh dream of such attentive family and friends. Think I can count on my hands how many times my ex mil bothered to come and see my kids in their entire childhood - after I split from their father (they were already adults) they both have had no contact from their paternal grandmother and said good riddance

I think this is one of the most frankly ridiculous threads I've read on here in a long time. Grow up, OP, and maybe try to think of your baby as a small, developing human being who will benefit from a web of relationships, rather than as some kind of finite resource to be quarrelled over.

You've read that? I don't think that's a thing.

Because I was on the other side of the world to both my family and in-laws I didn't miss a single first. But because I had to do it 'all' I hardly remember most of them tbh, I was just so exhausted and lonely.

I think a balance would have been lovely.

I agree with the other posters, OP are you ok? Is there something more going on?

I have an only child, and was ridiculously PFB, but so many friends and family were the first to experience DDs firsts. It really doesn't bother me, my DD loves hearing stories of how my sister was the first to see her walk for example. As she realises how much happiness that brought to my sister and makes them closer.

I can't imagine making a fuss over a toothbrush or a particular present. Just get a different in or say to the buyer. You sound ridiculously precious. Just enjoy your baby. You will be the one getting most of the smiles and cuddles, and they are what are important.

I felt robbed of my ideal pregnancy and birth due to Covid but at the end of the day both me and our DD were happy and healthy when she arrived so what's the big deal really?
The only first I'm bothered about are her seeing every Disney classic with me and that DH and I are the first ones to take her to Disneyland other than that we're pretty laid back. Yes we'd like to have all of her firsts ourselves but she'll walk when she's read, talk when she wants too and everything else. Chances are we're going to miss quite a few but so what we will always have the first time she does them for us! People need to chill out and just enjoy their kids

First nappy and bottle were “stolen” by mil and DH but as I was in the operating theatre at that point while they tried to save my life I can hardly complain!

Babies firsts were never something I was particularly bothered with, so I don't think I was stolen of anything.

It's not a competition. And we don't have exclusivity over our children.

I always find the obsession about firsts very odd.

On a side note, though, at the hearing check (about 11 months?), the HV put DS walking towards me. She seemed quite proud and excited to show me what he could do, as if that was the first time.
He had been doing it at home for at least a week then.

The only "stolen first" that pissed me off was DH getting the first cup of tea

Seriously OP, you need to relax about this stuff. If you build everything up to this level of perceived importance, you're heading for a lifetime of disappointment and frustration.

Just because these things aren't important to a lot of you doesn't mean they aren't important to the OP.

My mum bought curtains for baby's room and a load of other stuff. I'd probably have found it sweet if she'd been a good mum, but she was horrible to me growing up and a bad mum so i just found it annoying and said no thanks as i was choosing my own curtains.