What baby first were stolen from you?

[alesha123445]

I've read its common for people to try and steal babies firsts and im interested to hear peoples stories.
A family member brought up taking my lo for her first shoe fitting, wanting to buy them the first rocking horse for Christmas knowing I've already picked one and that its a big deal to me, buying my babies first toothbrush without asking, asking to buy my babies first year old outfit. Sometimes ill nod it off and say yes, but deep down I have no intention of allowing it and I won't be using any of the firsts people buy anyway. I really want to hear about others experiences with people attempting or successfully stealing their babies firsts.

I didn't get to hold DD first because I spread eagled in surgery. My DH was terrified sat there, not daring to breathe too much in case he jostled the baby

He also "stole" the first laugh. DD was about 3 months old and I was out with friends. Luckily he videoed it for me.

I have all the other "firsts" and he doesn't begrudge me a single one.

I'd be overjoyed if I had someone in my life who could take my child for a shoe fitting, or buy my baby a toothbrush, or a Rocking Horse or care as much to do all the things you mention.

As it happens, my mum died when I was 18, my dad sexually abused me so I'm obvs NC, my brother lives in LA... DH is amazing and we're happy but he is orphaned and NC with his sister, we do everything ourselves.

It'd be great to have extended family/friends who care.

wanting to buy them the first rocking horse for Christmas knowing I've already picked one and that its a big deal to me, buying my babies first toothbrush without asking, asking to buy my babies first year old outfit

My baby's first photographs were in the arms of an ex friend who I don't see now. She and my exH had him for the whole first hour of his life while I was having my fanjo sewn back up and having a lovely nap while they did it.
It's a bit weird when I look at the photos knowing I didn't take them but I don't feel it was stolen from me.

Good grief - first birthday and Christmas outfit? I haven't got a bloody clue. It's not important and it probably would have been covered in food pretty quickly anyway. I had three children in 3.5 years and worked; I had to go with flow and muddle through like most parents.

I can't remember if I missed an important "first" but in the big scheme of things it doesn't matter. The stuff both you and they will look back on and remember will probably be the random things, maybe the mundane things anyway.

Where on earth did you read that?

Very melodramatic and immature.

The only thing that really upset me was that my DH got to cuddle DS first. He had been in an incubator for a week in the NICU and I’d never held him. DH sent me a photo of him holding him and I burst into tears. However I got to hold him the next day so it was fine.

Never bothered me at all. Some other people probably did things for my kids before me but I can't say I noticed.

I'm with Elderflower I know lovely, I did it too. Hope you are ok

OP the important firsts for me/us were nothing to do with planned milestones/photographic opportunities and far more to do with tiny unplanned triumphs and sadnesses:

First try from the sidelines
Letter confirming place at awesome school
Player of the week
The only DC with spoken lines aged 3
The first bloodied knee, hug and tears
Tying a shoelace for the first time
Falling off a horse and breaking a bone
Cutting head open and needing stitches
Winning first prize in the daffodil contest

None of these things can be planned. Oh and ds's first Christmas outfit was a plain yellow babygro because he arrived 3.5 weeks early on Christmas day!

Sounds silly but the nurse scooping my baby up after his first set of jabs when all I wanted to do was soothe and cuddle him.

What an odd thread. Is it particularly “common” for people to “steal” these firsts?

I can’t think of any examples. I was there for the important stuff to me (smile, roll, crawl, step, words etc). I haven’t the foggiest who changed his first nappy or who dressed him in hospital.

As for the stuff, if someone gives you a first Christmas outfit abc you had something else in mind, just don’t put the baby in it. I don’t see how someone can “steal” that stuff from you, even if given it, you can’t be forced to use it.

There’s some examples on this thread which would have upset me too though, like missing out on the first Santa visit. That was a magical moment for DS that I’ll always remember.

Probably loads of things that are completely inconsequential to their lives and are all forgotten now. I'm not going through their lives collecting firsts. I don't keep curls or teeth or whatever. It's the tint moments of unexpected magic that I'm here for. The spontaneous wonderful things that happen when you least expect it (and usually when the camera is nowhere to be found).

My SIL announced the birth of my baby on Facebook.
She posted her photo, name, weight and time of birth before I'd even told all of my family.
I think I cried for two days- I was very hormonal haha, although I've still not fully forgiven her.

I love sharing my kids with the world too. When one learnt to ride a bike? Was I there? No. But I got the joy. "Mum, mum, guess what I did earlier?"

I might miss all of my kids firsts. I really don't give a hoot. I can't be in more than one place at once, and as a lone parent I am the home maker, the wage earner, the parent to 3 kids. I don't get the opportunity to be there all the time. I have to have a village. And actually, that my kids get to have good relationships with family and friends is really special. They deserve to get some firsts with the other special people in their life. My ego is not what matters.

First visit from Santa. DS was born just before Xmas and we had both been readmitted to hospital, then I was separated from him because I had an infectious skin condition. DH sent me photos of him with Santa and the nurses from the Children's Ward dressed as elves and it really upset me as I was in the same building but couldn't be there.

Got discharged Xmas day. I take comfort in the fact he doesn't remember anything about it and I got to do his first 'real' Xmas the following year.

The only thing I missed was waiting to go into labour. I had to be induced both times at 36 weeks so did it all in hospital. So wanted to do the waiting game.

Jesus..do people go through life thinking like this? It must be stressful.
Seriously op don't sweat the small stuff. Life is too short for this kind of stress.

Jesus wept.

I think you need to try and pick your battles OP 🤷‍♀️

My few hours old baby 'smiling' at MIL. Of course i know my baby didn't actually smile at her. But the fact that she said he did after i just went through 30+hour of tough labour. Jezus woman...

There were a few more first i felt robbed off but that was only withmy first born and i realize now that i was just being hormonal/protective being a new mum

If it helps any I was really pissed off when my mum bought my 15 year old his first razor after I'd told her me & dh were getting him one. Not a big thing really but I only have one child, I will never get chance to do that for him again. I too feel like she stole something from me, particularly because she did it literally half an hour after I mentioned it. I even had to tell her that it was my dh's place to show ds how to shave, not my dad's. I don't tell my mum anything like that now unless I want her to get ds something!

First rocking horse 🧐
That's a thing? .......
as if there isn't enough to concern yourself with, heaven forbid someone else buy the first rocking horse, that'd just ruin everything
🙄

When my baby was taken to NICU and the nurses were changing him, feeding him, cuddling him. 😭

Ladybee28 It wasn't just that, there were a lot of things, I had terrible pnd, struggled to bond with ds & sil just wouldn't stop interfering. I needed time to recover & adjust to becoming a mum & she wouldn't leave us alone. She even took ds off exh one day when I had just nipped up to the loo & cleared off to her mums with him, she didn't bring him back for 5 hours, he was screaming with hunger having missed one feed & nearly missed his next one. There are many more things but that is enough.

I thought I'd be like this, but to be honest it doesn't bother me.

Mil is known to be quite overbearing but honestly she wanted to take dd for her first shoes (with us there) and it didn't bother me.

I've realised after having DD that the more people that love her is what's best for her & Mil is completely besotted (first grandchild) how can it be a bad thing having people in my daughters life that care for her that much? And it makes Mil happy ... it doesn't make me any less of a mum

Is this really a thing? I have three children. Never heard such rubbish.