What baby first were stolen from you?

[alesha123445]

I've read its common for people to try and steal babies firsts and im interested to hear peoples stories.
A family member brought up taking my lo for her first shoe fitting, wanting to buy them the first rocking horse for Christmas knowing I've already picked one and that its a big deal to me, buying my babies first toothbrush without asking, asking to buy my babies first year old outfit. Sometimes ill nod it off and say yes, but deep down I have no intention of allowing it and I won't be using any of the firsts people buy anyway. I really want to hear about others experiences with people attempting or successfully stealing their babies firsts.

First Santa stocking

You sound very possessive of everything concerning your baby. I think you’re lucky if you have people interested enough in your baby to do that - I bought all the stuff you mentioned myself, and don’t remember any of it!

It's not something that's ever worried me tbh. I thinks it's nice for the child knowing they've done 'firsts' for other people than their parents, it's a nice bond. MIL even picked ds's name and he knows it, I'm not previous.

I think some of these "firsts" are a bit daft to get precious about. I wasn't the first to hold my babies - but that's ok because DH was.

However one thing does piss me off, and that's my BIL announced the birth of my first baby all over Facebook, complete with photos and everything, before I'd even had the chance to tell friends. There's no excuse for that other than stupidity or lack of thought, but even a transgression like that doesn't really matter that much. It's not worth getting worked up about.

I don’t think anything has been “stolen” but it is awkward when people buy clothes you don’t like/ aren’t practical. I feel abit bad but I’ve left some in the cupboard never to come out 🤷🏻‍♀️ Also Fil once said he considered being asked to be called dada instead of grandpa which I just found odd, like he was trying to steal her possible first word being dada and saying it was about him but maybe I’m overthinking 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Honestly i think this is a bit ridiculous.

I had many firsts with my DD, often bc there was no one there to help me so I'd be on my own with her. If I had the choice, I'd forgo a few "firsts" for close family that were more supportive and helped out once in a while

My MIL cut my first sons hospital name tag off, it really peed me off I wanted to do it, but I was very British and thanked her!

Also, most the firsts are a major let down. Envisioned the first shoe shop, trying on different shoes, asking his favourite, big smiles, running around testing them...

Reality- screaming, refusing to have feet measured, smacking away the shop
Assistant, me pinning him down, refusal to wear shoes for 5 months anyway!

Mil came to my first scan. I would rather it had just been me and dh but she really wanted to be there so I didnt have the balls to tell her no.

No one is misty eyed when remembering the first time they brushed their baby's teeth, let alone just popping into boots to buy the toothbrush itself

Really?! big day for us. Got the family round, stood in a ring around it singing a blessing. Ah yes, first brush

OP you need to unclench a little.

My sister took DS1 for his first haircut. I was grateful.

My MIL wanted to do a lot of firsts... take DS swimming for the first time, buy his diets bike... Was adamant she would be the first one to babysit. She got her way on none of these 🤷‍♀️ we had a long journey with fertility and subsequent health issues in growing our family, that these milestones were ones that we'd looked forward to.
Now due with second and in law relative has bought baby an outfit which is to be their first outfit. It won't be, but more because her general behaviour is so abhorrent at times I simply don't want to give her the satisfaction, rather than any other reason of preciousness.

With dd it was First bath . Mil did it . I was exhausted and in so much pain and just watched on from the sofa &First pictures . We didn’t have any together for weeks .this time I have pictures with ds next to me In theatre and our first breastfed😁 . I also get sad I wasn’t the first to hold DS but nothing could be done about That

My MIL bought Ds's cot. It was second hand and not lovely but it worked and was Ok once in his room with everything else in there. At the time I was a bit Hmmm as I had been looking at a rather lovely albeit expensive one which then turned into a toddler bed.

I now thank her for that. For the time he would have been in it there were far better things we could have spent our money on.

@Lockdownseperation

None. Well I only briefly held DD2 and then DH got to hold her for the next two hours while I was having emergency surgery and was in recovery. I don’t know if that counts but I wasn’t bothered it. I was desperate for bf to be successful but before I went to theatre I told him if she needed milk when I was away then to give a bottle of formula.

DD1 gave her first smile to her own reflection.

The reflection thing is super sweet though

Miscarriage stole my first, second, and fourth baby.

Nursery taught my son to stand up wee.

Holding my baby straight after birth because after complications, I had to be knocked out.

Changing his nappy because I bled massively internally and couldn't get out of bed without excruciating pain.

Couldn't raise the energy to get worked up over many 'firsts' that I missed out on, but it's all relative, isn't it?

I can't even remember most of these 'firsts' let alone mark them.

My next door neighbour gave my eldest her first hair cut when she was a baby. I was a bit pissed off about that 'first'.

SIL (who I love dearly so I wasn’t cross at all) noticed DS’s first tooth before I did. I’m a shit mum!

My MIL and XH took DD for her first Santa's grotto visit while I was at work. And couldn't understand afterwards that I might have wanted to go too.

NICU nurses did most of the 'firsts' for us in the first 2 months with each DC. I was heartbroken when I came into the ward one day to find them dressed in old, tatty outfits owned by the ward. I helped to write a 'best approach' for staff in the nicu on how they could best encourage parental bonding. Firsts formed a huge part of that including getting dressed, moving into a cot from an incubator, first bath, first oral feed etc etc

@OverTheRainbow88 so true!!!!

Wait until you have second- none if it will matter one iota!

I was unconscious in ICU for two weeks after giving birth to Ds2. Ds1 needed 6 lots of surgery before he was a year.
I never gave birth to a healthy newborn, both were micro preemies. I never bought a first outfit, never decorated a nursery, never even chose a first toy......my family did all that for me as I was too unwell.
I missed a lot of 'firsts' - but I gained a lot of perspective.