What do women do after being SAHMs?

[peachpuppy]

Genuinely not meant to be an insulting question, was just curious if returning to employment is the only lifestyle choice / only 'acceptable' lifestyle choice when your children become adults.

@flatoutpanic You should give yourself some credit, I guarantee you have a hell of a lot more interpersonal & management skills after becoming a mum! What would be your dream job if you had your pick?

@peachpuppy I had a few desk jobs in my late teens/twenties straight from A levels and was lucky enough to be a SAHM whilst my daughter was little in my 30’s. I was never really bought up to have any ‘aspirations’ to be fair, so managing to step into the role I have now is amazing, the people are great and the job is so different from anything else, the shift work is difficult to get used to but once you’re there, it’s fab.

Thanks peach 😊

I’d probably want to go into the field of psychology/counselling/mental health. I always wanted to be a doctor but went a completely different route (rightly so at the time, played to my strengths).

I was a SAHM for 12 years, went back to the workplace part time 3 years ago.

I was perfectly happy not working, did lots of voluntary work that kept my professional skills up to date and kept my brain ticking over. I would've been happy to go straight into retirement but didn't because I knew that when the dc got to Uni age we'd probably struggle financially.

I'm enjoying being back at work, definitely enjoying the money! The plan is to get the dc through Uni then dh will also go pt and we'll have a long semi-retirement together before the pensions kick in.

I'm a sahm to a 5 year old and a 2 year old. I should graduate next year with my 2nd degree (in a totally different field to my 1st) and then my plan pre Covid 19 was a Social Work masters. Not sure what I'll do now.

I also do a lot of voluntary work, including being on my 2nd year of chairing a committee for something charity related.

I am SAHP although I have volunteered in different sectors focused on climate and environmental work - I also help to run a foodbank for the last 16 years, so I have actually been very busy. I enjoy my life hugely as it is. I have time for exercise, relaxation, a clean and orderly home, travelling, swimming, seeing friends and family and meditation every day.

Just getting to the point that the dc are independent and almost adult. I plan to take a part time degree and buy a house overseas. We intend to travel the world for six months when the last one leaves for university; before living overseas for 6 months a year. I love vintage cars, so I plan to buy one (mid life crisis territory I know!) and step up my energies around domestic violence refuges next.

I wouldn't go back to paid employment now or in the future. I don't know how anyone has time to work if I am honest!

Resumed teaching with supply , short term contracts , job shares etc
Did some tutoring

Oh and sold DK books for a bit but not very seriously

My experience so far hasn't been too positive. I worked in a low paid NHS administration role prior to maternity which I loved but didn't earn enough money to be able to go back (it wouldn't have even covered half the nursery bills) I tried to go back to work last year and my DD got very sick and we (me and the manager) decided that it was not the role for me, so I had to leave.
Unfortunately that leaves me now looking for voluntary work or even a weekend job with the rest of the low paid workers that are also looking for work. I'm educated to masters level.
I would love to go back to work but 1) it would have to be specific hours, 2) I have 1 reference which is a personal one not a workplace one and 3) I would have to earn enough to make nursery viable during work hours. So I
think until we can get free nursery hours I'm stuck being a SAHM.

My sister has only just this year gone back to work and my niece is 4, she works in a supermarket, has no qualifications but was able to do voluntary work with my niece in tow.

Get a series of low level temporary jobs, if my experience is anything to go by. It doesn't matter how educated and qualified you are; after several years out of the workforce, you will have to start at the bottom of the ladder, unless you have connections.

Oh and it is very difficult to find free or low cost training at colleges now, as most courses are aimed at school leavers.

I've been a sahm for about 12 years now and I do worry about being able to get back into work. I have a good degree from a good university and worked as a PA before I had DC. I've applied for many school office jobs and not had a single interview, despite having kept my skills up to day via voluntary work. My youngest has a year left in primary and at that point I'll have some serious decisions to make!

This is all so interesting to read! What a good varied bunch of interests. oh and fyi - @Friendsoftheearth vintage cars aren't a midlife crisis, just good taste how's everyone keeping up with any work related pressure / fear of their little ones leaving?

I actually am looking forward to the next stage, I thought I might dread it, but I am ready for the next chapter. Are you making some life decisions op?

and @flatoutpanic you seem to know what your interests are, so I'm gonna guess and say you don't actually need to flat out panic

I've been a sahm since DS was born 4 years ago, he starts school next month. I'm educated to Masters level and just about to start a job locally, 16 hours a week, that I saw advertised by accident as I wasn't seriously looking for work. I'm very surprised and feel very fortunate.

@Friendsoftheearth I'm making some veeeeeeery (probably unnecessarily) long term life decisions hahaha! My brief run through is that I'm almost 18, getting my HNC and moving on to a degree and in about a year and a half my husband and I are buying a house & making moves to start a family. I'm definitely planning a lot in advance, but being a SAHM is an important value for me personally, I just want to see how other mums feel after that period of their life changes. Career has never been a big priority of mine, but trying to avoid being left in the lurch just in case anything goes wrong! x

@VinoOlive That's great! Are you excited? Good luck with the opportunity, may it lead to many great things

My DM was a SAHM with all 4 of her children, even when they were in college/moved out of home. She had 1 in the army, one moved out and 2 in college/working and said she couldn’t work as she had children.
lazy mare god rest her soul

@DeanImpala I hear that to wanting to be your own boss! Do you feel your small business endeavours give you more overall life satisfaction or your previous academia? Or alternatively, you loved being a SAHM most but got unfortunately booted by the sands of time kidding!

@Youvegotafriendinme No judgement to her, only respect! The less stress, the longer the life expectancy in my eyes!

Good thread op and good questions. I became a sahm after my last dc and left a good job. In theory I wouldn't mind working for the same employer at some point in the future but really find the idea of the commute and school run logistics and annual leave used up on school hols offputting (plus i hear the org has changed a fair bit). I'm in two minds abt what to do, although don't need to decide yet as kids are still little.

Oh my! You are young op, and sound very together given your age.

Please factor in the exhaustion of having children, it is absolutely ball breaking at times, and although many do sail through this patch with lots of hired help, for the rest of us it is knackering!

Being financially secure is key, if you are going to stop working you have to know you can manage perhaps to very old age. Don't give up on any career unless your plan is bullet proof with at least three plans bs! You never know what is waiting for you further along the line.

Get married so that you are legally protected.

There is no easy road, motherhood is extremely tiring! It is not a holiday and it is easier to be at work in the early days

My dc are older now, it is a breeze but there are other things waiting - teen years are not exactly effortless either.

On second thoughts get a cat or a horse!!

Have fun planning your life, and I wish you well

@peachpuppy - my advice would be to keep one eye on your cv while you're out of the work place. I was quite pushy about getting voluntary work related to my job which kept me up to date. This was worth it's weight in gold when it came to applying for jobs after such a long gap. I was able to go back to my old job at the same level I was before I gave up work.