Say what your children are doing today, but call them your colleagues.

[Mesmeri]

My colleagues are wearing animal costumes today.

Behind yours actually sounds like a commodities trader I used to work with, right down to the cereal!

My colleagues are fighting with each other so I have locked myself in the loo to get away from them.

My colleague got in bed with me at 4am and kicked me in the face.

My colleague is playing (bullying) lego with my boyfriend, mainly giving some fairly harsh criticism about my boyfriends crap lego skills and apparently “having poorly hands isn’t an excuse” ah, what a kind little fellow.

My very artistic colleague is doing a painting today, and I am not allowed to see it

Co-manager is having some toast and my elderly male colleague is sitting at his feet gazing up in the hope he'll get a bit. My other two colleagues are nowhere to be seen.

One of my colleagues is having a strop at one of the managers (DH) because the WiFi has been turned off until he does his chores. Apparently the manager is ‘being SO ANNOYING!!!!’ and my colleague can’t understand why he should have to get out of bed and off his phone at nearly 3pm.

My other colleague is making macaroni cheese and singing. She’s a lot easier to work with.

One of them has hidden themselves in a dark and fusty room. I suspect watching youtube on company time, tsk.

The other is busy inspecting miniature models of cars and making intent "brrrrm brrrrm" noises. Engine inspections, perhaps.

One colleague is applying as much makeup as possible, another is kicking a ball around the garden for the other colleague who is woofing a lot.

One of my colleagues did (3) told me to go out of her room because she didn't want to get infected..

Other colleague ds (1) is asleep on me right now..

My colleagues have emerged from their offices after a strenuous morning's YouTube viewing to curl up on the sofa with senior management to watch Thor. Office wellbeing is high.

AMBU? My colleague wants to know.
Why won’t I make it Tuesday? He doesn’t want it to be Saturday, he wants it to be Tuesday.
I’ve said totally unreasonable but he wants to ask a wiser demographic of the company.
Based on your answer, I suspect he may tantrum.

My senior colleague is hiding in his man cave the loft his deputy is conference calling her other colleagues at their places of work, the office junior is on fortnite killing other office juniors and the unpaid intern is building Lego and telling me he loves me.

My eldest colleague was caught chewing a black stiletto. My youngest colleague was running about my garden making woofing noises at people walking past......

My colleague is sitting in the shower covered in shaving foam and body paint. Management are called it team building messy play. Fortunately she's doing a great job at cleaning the showed drain with an old toothbrush.

My colleagues are arguing over the switch and generally finding new and exciting ways to piss each other off.
I am considering applying for a new job.

My colleague is singing songs about bums, poo and wee.

Junior male colleague stationed himself on my knee while I ate a yoghurt, and then started licking the dregs from the carton before I whisked it away.

@crosser62
But it is Tuesday didn't you know? and tomorrow will be a normal home working day, so bedtime is early

My colleague is sucking my nipple and grunting

One colleague is singing disney songs on repeat. The other is messing around on social media.

My colleagues took HR advice this morning and went out for a run/skate. Since then they have been stuck in their offices video conferencing. Furry colleague didn't turn into work until about 11.00 this morning after a night on the tiles no doubt.

One of my colleagues is shouting for help in the loo, one is eyeing up my new makeup my sister bought me, and the other is hibernating in his office 🤷‍♀️

My colleague is running laps around the office naked. I'm considering reporting her to hr.

My colleague has been complaining to me about working conditions all day. Our direction is not creative enough (not enough art activities) and the canteen provides substandard food (apple cut up wrong).

My colleague keeps jumping out of the shed window, inbetween watching tv and playing computer games. My other colleague is cleaning.

My colleagues are shouting at each other and throwing office equipment. Still in animal costumes.