I don't want to breastfeed.

[MrsHJFL]

Hey guys,

So I'm a first time mummy to be, just starting my second trimester. I'm getting alot if people asking me if I'm going to breastfeed and.. The answer is no.

I don't have any desire to do it, I really dont want to. And it will be nice for my husband to be able to help me feed.

Most people I tell this too are completely supportive. But I feel everywhere I look, online, TV shows etc they only talk about breastfeeding and never show or talk about parents that want to use formula. Makes me feel almost guilty for making this desicion.

Are there any mums out there like me who have never wanted to breastfeed and have babies only fed on formula?

How had it been for you? Do you have any tips or recommendations on what formula to use?

Just feel alone in this 'no breast' world haha xx

hi, i bottle fed mine (sma) and my baby had the most gorgeous peaches and cream skin, my neighbour and friend breastfed hers and he had really blotchy skin! (i know breastfed babies can have lovely skin as well, just saying).

hi, i bottle fed mine (sma) and my baby had the most gorgeous peaches and cream skin, my neighbour and friend breastfed hers and he had really blotchy skin! (i know breastfed babies can have lovely skin as well, just saying).

That has to be the most batshit statement on the entire thread. I really hope you were being ironic!

hi, i bottle fed mine (sma) and my baby had the most gorgeous peaches and cream skin, my neighbour and friend breastfed hers and he had really blotchy skin! (i know breastfed babies can have lovely skin as well, just saying))

On the other hand me and my sister were both bottle fed, admittedly a long time ago

I had cow and gate, my sister SMA

My sister had eczema, I didn’t. My mum always blamed the SMA

It probably wasn’t that just one of those things, same as your and your friend’s baby

I never wanted to either so didn’t. Felt no pressure to and it meant DH could feed them too just as easily as I could.

I think you are not that far in your pregnancy to be making that decision already. Although you do need to do what's right for you (happy mum usually means I happier baby) there are loads of benefits of breastfeeding for your baby. I found it extremely difficult and exhausting but I did it for 8 months as the babies health was the most important thing in my opinion.

The OP is asking about ff not about whether she should bf.

OP - mine were on ff from day one. I’d suggest choosing a brand which is readily available and also get a perfect prep machine - makes life so much easier.

It’s your baby and will be perfect so no need to ever explain or justify the millions of decisions you will made.

Do what you want to do. Just make sure that your decision is a considered one. I formula fed my first and breastfed my second. The reason I chose not to formula feed again is because she was so sicky with every feed and suffered reflux and allergies. She also had a very weak immune system.and got ill a lot in her first 2 years.
With my second who is breastfed, he has a much better immune system, was less sicky, still had an allergy, but found his reactions were far more tolerable as a breastfed baby.
I would never judge a formula feeding mum as I have been one too, but I would always advise you make a considered decision. Explore reasons why people breastfeed in the first place, don't rule it out and see how you feel after the birth.

It's your choice.

But it's not one I can really understand. If you've had some traumatic experience that makes you not want to then fair enough. If not, I think you won't know how you feel about it unless you try.

I started it because it has benefits for my babies, I kept going because it gave me little clouds of oxytocin that make me feel lovely. A bit like having a joint. The early days with dc1 were hard but dc2 has been fine. I love the contented noises and the little wriggly hand movements he does because he's close to me.

I think benefits of breastmilk are overrated, but if you've ever cared for a sick baby you'll know even one less cold a year is a big benefit. I can't see the point of not even trying, when there's a time-limited window to do it. If it's not for you, then stop. If it is for you then you save on all that formula and getting up to sterilise stuff in the night.

How many times does it have to pointed out that the OP doesn't want to BF? She wants information on FF.

it's so incredibly patronising to say you don't understand or she'll feel differently once the baby is here. Stop assuming she isn't making an informed decision.

Oh look, another one who “can’t really understand “
Well guess what? You dont need to

It’s not patronising, it’s the reality. You can’t be fully informed about having a baby until you’ve actually had your own one, plus every baby and birth experience is different so you can’t know how you’ll feel in the immediate aftermath. All you can do is your best in advance to get all the information that you’ll need to make an informed decision that is best for you and your baby at the appropriate time.

It is patronising. I didn't need to have a baby to know i didn't want BF. That didn't mean I couldn't change my mind but it was still an informed decision at the time.

The whole 'I don't judge' but 'don't I understand' just comes across as contradictory....plus nobody said you had to understand anyway.

I haven’t said anything about judging/understanding personally @SueEllenMishke. You say yourself you could have changed your mind - that’s my point exactly.

Not you specifically harriet but others have.

No that's not the point. The OP has asked for info/advice on FF. Not to be told her decision is wrong and that people don't understand her. I'm sure as an adult she knows she can change her mind.......that applies to lots of situations.

If not, I think you won't know how you feel about it unless you try

BS
I didnt want to BF from the day i found out i was pregnant, I only agreed to try cos i was sick of the lectures and pressure. I felt I had NO choice but to say yes
I literally jumped for joy when it was clear it wouldnt work and i had a "valid" reason
Believe it or not, people know themselves and what they can cope with