I don't want to breastfeed.

[MrsHJFL]

Hey guys,

So I'm a first time mummy to be, just starting my second trimester. I'm getting alot if people asking me if I'm going to breastfeed and.. The answer is no.

I don't have any desire to do it, I really dont want to. And it will be nice for my husband to be able to help me feed.

Most people I tell this too are completely supportive. But I feel everywhere I look, online, TV shows etc they only talk about breastfeeding and never show or talk about parents that want to use formula. Makes me feel almost guilty for making this desicion.

Are there any mums out there like me who have never wanted to breastfeed and have babies only fed on formula?

How had it been for you? Do you have any tips or recommendations on what formula to use?

Just feel alone in this 'no breast' world haha xx

"“I also find it difficult to understand why you wouldnt want to do what’s best for your baby”"

One of my friends recently confessed that she ended up hitting her baby while she was breastfeeding because she was so frustrated that he kept falling asleep. She was under huge pressure to breastfeed as she was very into all natural stuff at the time and hung out with similar people who were horrified at the idea of formula.

Even if breast milk was that much better (which it's not), do you honestly think that is "best" for the baby? To have a mother so stressed out she wants to hit the baby? Is it really to be done at any cost?

Do your research before you come out with this nonsense.

Even if breast milk was that much better (which it's not)

Disputing scientific facts regarding the benefits of breast milk over formula really doesn't help your argument.

I will repeat back at you: Do your research before you come out with this nonsense.

However, that is not to say that formula is bad. The decision a mother makes is based on much more than simply the composition of breast milk vs formula. For an individual family, the pros of formula may outweigh the pros of bf and vive versa.

I struggle to accept women who just dont fancy it.

Why?

I FF from the start. The idea of BF repulsed me from the second i found out i was pregnant.
I had only said i wanted to try BF but that was only cos i felt i HAD to say that. I would get lectured if i didnt tow the line on BF.

When the nurse came in, ripped down my top, grabbed me and shoved dd on, i felt disgusted, humiliated, like a mere cow and even more so hoping no milk ever came cos then id have a 'valid' excuse'
Thankfully no milk came and i bargained an early discharge from hospital by allowing them to mark me down as 'fully BF' when i wasnt. Looked better on their applications for funding to have women leaving fully BF apparently

Dont let people to try lay a guilt trip. Your body, Your choice.
BF isnt the be all and end all, it also isnt best if you end up hating life and resenting the baby

@LoveIsLovely my eldest was exclusively formula fed by my own choice so I absolutely know the benefits of it for baby but it doesn't take a genius to know that breast milk IS the best option for a human baby because it is organically produced and tailored to sustain the baby as it grows.

It's scientific fact.

What you're describing has nothing to do with the breast milk it's about the act of breast feeding which unfortunately in this woman's case did not work for her family.

Breastfeeding itself may not always be the best option, but breast milk is the best food source. That doesn't mean formula is bad, it's a perfectly viable and adequate nutritional source.

I also find it difficult to understand why you would not want to do what's best for your baby

I simply didn't want to. Why is that so hard to understand? I planned to exclusively formula feed and it worked very well.

If that makes me a selfish old goat then so be it. I actually also wanted my body back after the months of pregnancy which had battered it. Why wouldn't I?

Do what you want.
Especially in hospital.
When you feel confident you are in the right place to take care of your child. You will feel judged, prepare yourself.
In France I recall being encouraged to do it just the once. No medical condition preventing it. Even the once was good enough for the kid. Even this you could refuse. It was asked beforehand, so it was in the birth plan so to speak. After you can have your pills, or help with breastfeeding.
You can ask for a bottle, at any given moment, and everybody is fine.
I breastfed a lot. Like a lot. Almost 5 years in total between 3 kids. It's my CHOICE.
I had my third one in the UK. I have to say that I found the climate in the UK pretty coercive : when I popped my bottle of ready made formula, I received all kind of comments and bad eye so to speak. Nobody asked me what was my choice. The presumption made me almost feel like a cow. Dehumanising. Strangely enough it puts more stress on the experience.
I did breastfeed the last one, after a good night's sleep, a shower and a proper meal. I was then ready, and the baby too. Not sleepy but fully hungry and alert.
Thank God we have choice, and you owe nobody the why. Absolutely nobody.
Breastfeeding is not a Graal. When you are sick you can't breast feed : a bug, a cold and you have to go to formula. Some woman cannot breastfeed for all kind of medical reasons, physical or psychological. You have to eat properly all the time. The choice of birth control diminishes. There are so many valid reasons not to breastfeed. Who am I to just come here and blurt out a slogan "breast is best" ? What counts is feeding properly the baby. It's the only thing that matters.
In our antenatal classes we had a session about breastfeeding, some women shared why they would/would not breastfeed. We all finished with tissues. It's a sensitive matter, it's not about making an uneducated guess.
We chose differently, but I will stand right by you.

Yes of course I brought a bottle. That was my plan D. For the first time in my life I would experience a ward with 8 mums and their kids and visits, after x hours of labour. I'm not superwoman, and that was not the best condition to kick start proper milk producing that could really knock off a big fat boy. And I was right. Somebody had a radio on for the whole first 48 hours...Somebody else had an army of visitors. PND is often induced by the sheer environment I would say.

I have a couple weeks to go and am in two miss aswell , I'm so young and don't want my boobs to go to shit I know that sound selfish but I would be so unhappy and unconfined if they just deflated . Do what's best for you !

As I said, I basically combi fed however there are some fallacies regarding BF here.

1: you can BF if you or the baby has a bug- like a cold, the flu or D&V

2: it doesn't wreck your boobs. I BF for nearly two years and have a fabulous rack- it's pregnancy that can wreck them not BF.

I think they a lot of women just don't want to BF. They want to get a good nights sleep occasionally, which you won't if BF. That is fine. Great that we have a choice. But please don't invent stuff about BF.

@LoveIsLovely wow! Your comment is offensive to anyone breastfeeding. Bf is a choice which shouldn't be judged in the same way that ff shouldn't. I bf, my dh helps and has a good bond and I fail to see how the proven health benefits are about my ego.

You need to do the right thing for your health. If breast cancer runs in your family or you are older than 30/ overweight / did ivf then I would try to bf for a year as it can help reduce some of the risk. If you don’t want the baby on the breast that’s fine - even pumping can help.

So many incorrect comments on here about bf. A good book is "why breastfeeding matters."

I have two children and didn't breastfeed either because I didn't want to . It's not compulsory !
Just be aware you may feel pressured by all sorts of people so know your own mind and stick to it .

The OP has come back on and said she doesn't want a debate, for the time being her mind is made up and she just wants info about FF so why is the debate still raging?

@TiptopJ maybe you've missed all the negative comments about bf??

While it is a fact that breast milk is the best option it's also a fact that formula is a healthy alternative.
It's important to remember that.

I also find it difficult to understand why you would not want to do what's best for your baby

Because sometimes it’s best for the mum not to breastfeed.

When you are sick you can't breast feed : a bug, a cold and you have to go to formula.

Absolutely not true. When you are sick, continuing to breastfeed protects your baby from catching it and prevents mastitis.

@DCIRozHuntley
I did not know that. This is not what we were told in my time. I stand corrected. This is why I love MN, even though it can be rash sometimes, because you learn stuff everyday. This useful. Thanks.

Wow, @hibeat.....mothers can’t bf if they have a bug???!!!! Who told you that? That’s really terrible info, very scary, and the opposite of what’s true. I hope no one reads your post and thinks they ‘have to go to formula’ if they are ill.

So much misinformation and myth on this thread 🙁🙁.

Of course mother’s choice is paramount. But if the choice is based on misinformation and myth, is it really a choice?!😡

@hibeat, just seen your retraction, thanks.

@hibeat - This is not what we were told in my time.

My eldest is 22 and I was told that bf if you had a bug helped protect the baby. Sounds like you got very poor information. I hope it wasn't from a health professional.

I can't recommend any formula but have you looked at the Tommee Tippee perfect prep when you've decided, I've heard rave reviews about that but also the odd comment that it can get mouldy.

I breastfeed and sterilise the odd bottle for expressed milk and the microwave sterilise bags are very handy and don't take up any space. You'll probably need something more substantial for regular bottles but I've found these very handy.

I am astounded at the sheer volume of misinformation and total BS about breastfeeding and breastmilk on here

Should proof read double 'very handy'