How soon did you leave newborn with someone else overnight?

[Dontbsicily]

Hello!

I have a beautiful 5 week old baby girl and my mum has offered to take her tomorrow night overnight so that DP and I can go for a meal and a couple of drinks. I’d love to spend some time with DP as we seem to be like passing ships in the night at the moment but, I don’t know if I’m ready to leave my baby yet.

She is combination fed. I tend to breastfeed the majority of the time but, then give her a bottle if we are out and about or DP will give her a couple of bottles on a night to give me a break. My Mum and sister also bottle fed her and looked after her through the night one evening to allow me a full nights sleep and she was absolutely fine so I have no doubts she would be again, I just don’t know how I feel about being in a different house all together!

How long after giving birth did you leave your babies and how was it?

Thanks in advance! :)

23 months and counting 🙈

They were 5 and 8! My mother. We went to a wedding.

My son's were breastfed and my breast didn't allow for this until I stopped breastfeeding. Even a missed feed or a longer than 20min extra nap led to me hovering over them with full breast that were prone to blocked ducts.
However, my youngest he stayed in NICU for a couple of weeks, does that count?

Mine was six months old when I left her for a night with DP as I had to go away for work, we split the year off. She was six weeks old when we left her for the evening with my mum so we could go to a wedding, she came to the day and mum picked her up before the dinner.

4 months, I left DS1 for 4 days with DH to go on my friends hen weekend in Miami.

Was brilliant, took breast pump with me and just cracked on.

Totally personal choice and probably would have found it harder to leave DS2 at the same age because he nursed all the time. DS1 was a very independent baby from early on.

Can't remember for DD1 but DD2 was 2 weeks when we first left her with MIL & FIL overnight for my parents silver wedding party.

DD1 was 2.5 & DD2 was 7 months when we left them for 2 weeks to go on honeymoon - in hindsight it was too long for me... not them they couldn't have cared less!

They've regularly had sleepovers at both sets of grandparents through the years & at 20 & 18 still have great relationships with them.

OP you'll find a lot on Mumsnet haven't left their 30 year old for the night yet but I don't know anyone in real life, who have available babysitters, like that!

My son was 3yo the first (and only) time I've ever left him overnight, and that was with DH. But then he has always been a dreadful sleeper so nobody has ever wanted or offered to have him overnight, too much of an ordeal!

Ds1 was 3 weeks shy of his 2nd birthday. My parents had him for 2 nights as I was in hospital after just having his brother. Dh is forces or he would of been with him.
I don’t count leaving the boys when very little in hospital by themselves overnight!
Do what’s right for you

From birth (baby was in nicu for three weeks)

After that at six months she was left with her dad overnight from time to time as my job involves some travel. She hasn't been left without a parent overnight yet but is now five and asking about sleepovers with a friend, so maybe soon.

Almost 3 and never.

My son is 2.5 and has never been left overnight. But I’ve had my friends 1.5 year old for a night. Everyone is different, do what works for you.

I went back to work when DS was ten months and did nightshifts but he was at home with DH, and home with me when DH did his nightshifts. He was left with my sister for the weekend when he was two and a half for us to go to a wedding 400 miles away and then for one night when DS2 was born in August. We have parents who would look after him any time but we don’t need them to take him overnight. He still loves them very much. It wasn’t something I did with my grandparents either.

We had a family wedding where DH was an usher and I was a bridesmaid when DS was 5 months so we left him with his godmother for 24hrs.

I honestly can't remember if at any point before that MIL had him overnight, I think she did but couldn't say exactly when!

Mine is 10 weeks and no way I’d leave her for more than a few hours, overnight I have no intention of doing for years (emergency aside).

I’m jealous of all these grandparents who are willing to do night feeds/sleepless nights! When we left DD2 at 12 months she was up once in the night and my mum moaned about how exhausted she was for about a week! She very occasionally has my 6 and 4 year olds overnight who sleep 7-7, and she still says she’s exhausted after having them.

Me too - but I think it probably depends not just on the grandparents but on how old they are. My parents are in their 60s and PILs are in their 70s and there's no way they would/could have done multiple night feeds, and I still don't think they'd be ok with DS (now 16 months) overnight as he usually sleeps through but might not in an unfamiliar environment - and they certainly haven't offered! If everyone had had their DC young enough that they were in their 40s, though, it might be quite different.

Errr, last week at 2 years old. I breastfed though and only have my boyfriend's parents closeby and they are of the 'cry it out' breed of parents- they babysat one evening and got in a mood when we wouldn't leave until she was settled saying we should just leave and she would cry if we were there or not?!! They would make no attempt to settle her.

Your situation sounds totally different though, if your baby's happy taking night feeds already from relatives and your happy with how they settle the baby you'll be fine.

Opposite end of the spectrum...

I didn't spend a night with DD 'til she was 5 weeks old - she was in NICU and the hospital was a 45 minute drive away.

Similarly, DS wasn't in NICU but I was unconscious for 3 days so he was fed donor milk.

Both fully breast fed til they were a year old.

If you're happy with it then go for it. One night away from your child will not scar them for life as long as they are with a competent care giver. I'm unsure why you're getting so much shocked pearl clutching in the responses!

If you're BF and your supply is established then you can (if comfortable) stretch the time between expressing overnight. This is what the NICU nurses told us to do as long as we still matched the number of feeds over 24hrs.

About 2 years but that’s what suited us, if you fancy seeing your DH for a meal go for it! You don’t have to leave her all night why not just accept the babysitting?

DS was probably about 2 but we had very little help and when we did leave him even for an evening I was always called back. And DD is one month old and I can't see being able to leave her for a good while yet even though we are trying to keep her taking a bottle as well as boob.
If you have the person who is offering and confident they will be fine, and if you feel ready then go for it! I worried too much about what other people thought and did the first time around, it made me feel crappy about my choices when it shouldn't have. Just do what feels right and don't feel you have to leave her just because they have offered either!

I've just enjoyed a night away from my 5 month old! She stayed at my mum's for the first time at 12 weeks. I've only left her overnight twice, but have absolutely loved both times! I'm breastfeeding so having to get up to pump is a bit annoying, but the uninterrupted time with my partner has been lovely.

When it was school half term and I had to work

Five years

Everyone is different. I don’t have any family close by so couldn’t even if I had wanted to and also my DC were breastfed only when tiny. If your comfortable and happy with your mum having your baby then don’t worry about it. However if your feeling pushed into doing something your not ready to do then dont

7 years.

I think Dd was a teenager before she was away from me for 1 night.

Ds is 17 and still has never spent a night away