How soon did you leave newborn with someone else overnight?

[Dontbsicily]

Hello!

I have a beautiful 5 week old baby girl and my mum has offered to take her tomorrow night overnight so that DP and I can go for a meal and a couple of drinks. I’d love to spend some time with DP as we seem to be like passing ships in the night at the moment but, I don’t know if I’m ready to leave my baby yet.

She is combination fed. I tend to breastfeed the majority of the time but, then give her a bottle if we are out and about or DP will give her a couple of bottles on a night to give me a break. My Mum and sister also bottle fed her and looked after her through the night one evening to allow me a full nights sleep and she was absolutely fine so I have no doubts she would be again, I just don’t know how I feel about being in a different house all together!

How long after giving birth did you leave your babies and how was it?

Thanks in advance! :)

My youngest is 6 years and I’ve never left her with anyone overnight, I don’t see a need and feel much better knowing she is safe and happy under my roof!

10 months for us, but I don't understand why you have to stay out overnight for this? Surely you can go for dinner and drinks and be home before midnight?

4yrs old!

Everyone’s circumstances and babies are different so I’m not sure you can take much notice of what others have done. I had to go away for work when my son was 12mo but he was at home with his father. We’ve both had occasional nights away separately but he has always been with one of us. He woke hourly all night until about 14mo and was always upset on waking so I never felt he could be left with anyone else. He is spending his first night away at grandparents’ (where he goes once a week for childcare so he is used to being there and has his own cot) next week, when he will be 19mo

Mine was five months. It’s whatever you feel happy with. I had someone else’s six week old baby for a weekend. I felt very honoured.

2 years and she was clingy after, so we have only done it twice more (and once was at our house whilst I gave birth). I breastfed in the night til 11 months and at bedtime for longer so couldn't have managed earlier.

DD is six. Has stayed away from us once for whole night and we've put her to bed at grandparents, gone out and picked her a couple of times. Can't say it's by choice to leave it this long but I wasn't actually ready to leave her until she was 2. But that's just me.

3 weeks as I had a wedding to attend. DS used to stay with Grandparents every 3/4 weeks ( Monday - Tuesday) after that as I went back to work when he was 6 weeks old and I really did need a rest.
He still stays over sometimes as we moved and he goes to visit, they had a great relationship.
There are no rights or wrongs so take no notice of others, the right time for your little one is when it feels ok for you.

Yes people are opinionated because tiny babies need their mothers. They are hard wired to need them because their survival would have depended on the mother being there. That need doesn’t switch off because formula is available in the shops. I know it seems judgemental but you’ve had how many years with your DH being an adult going out for dinner and you can’t even manage more than 5 weeks? Why not let grandma stay and babysit at your house?

7 weeks. Go and enjoy your night, OP.

When dd was 22 months she stayed at my parents as i gave birth to ds.

I thought I'd be quite laid back about it pre baby but DD is 9mo and I haven't left her overnight. We did leave her with my mum to go for dinner when she was about 3mo, but overnight seems like a much bigger thing to me so I'm not in any rush to do that

Tiny babies need a competent care giver. A night away from their mother does them no harm.

Dd1 I can't remember it was 27yrs ago.
Dd2, my sister had her overnight from 3weeks.
In laws from about 6mths. She now stays with Inlaws one night a week. She 4 and happily goes with my niece and her kids overnight, when my niece is happy to have a total of 4 under 4 for the night.

Haha, laugh at the thought of it. Breastfed babies, so probably almost a year and that was leaving with dh

Also. I know everyone probably means well. But ignore the comments of "i never needed a night away" or "I just don't see why you would do it". It's what works best for you. And comments like that will only make you feel bad if you choose to let your baby stay over.

There's nothing wrong with not letting them stay out till they're a teenager and likewise there's nothing wrong with them having a sleepover when they're little as long as they're happy with it. If he screamed being away from me and seemed traumatised then I wouldn't consider letting him stay but my little boy loves his grandma and lights up when he sees her. The way I see it is if he's happy then I'm happy.

My mums dad passed away when I was 4, my mums mum wasn't great with babies and my dads parents lived quite far away. My dad passed away 12 years ago and I am more than happy to facilitate my son having a relationship with the one grandparent who is fully present in his life when anything could happen. Again - that doesn't mean I judge anyone who doesn't have a night away from their babies, it just means I don't deserve to be judged or questioned for allowing my child to stay out.

Basically - neither option means you love your child anymore or any less. It's not a competition

On his 3rd birthday, with GPs, as I went into labour with DS2 just after his birthday party ended. (Yes, we did end up with 2 on the same day.)

Mine were about 7 years old. My DM never gave them a sleepover in 13 years, she avoided it at all costs, and PIL were an hour away and SIL DC took priority. I would have killed for a nights break after I stopped bf at three months, but no-one seemed to want to.

I don't think I've ever spent a night away from DS apart from when he was in SCBU (I was on the maternity ward for part of that, but couldn't stay on the ward).

Dd1 was 2.7 years old, dd2 is currently 11 months and has not been left yet. Its a very personal choice. I just wasn't ready / didn't see the need

DS is 14 months. Just remembered DH stayed with him for 2 out of 3 nights when he was in hospital recently, I did the third. My parents offered to have him overnight when he was 11 months, but we couldn't afford a night away so they just had him for the evening.

DD1 was 3 weeks (bottle fed), her granny kept her overnight.
DD2 was 3 years (ebf when a baby). Her dad and his parents took her on holiday for a few days.

I wish I had left DD2 sooner for the sake of my own mental health, but she was a bottle refuser and I had anxiety.

As long as you are comfortable then go for it!

DD is 14 months and hasn't had a night without me or DP. We have had evenings out where she's been babysat at our house and we obviously take over when we get home, but never at someone else's house.

Oh wow, these answers are a lot different to what I was expecting!

I thought everyone would be saying that was totally normal and I was being silly!

Mum definitely isn’t pressuring me. If anything DP is the one putting the pressure on because, we used to be very social and I’ve just enjoyed being at home since becoming pregnant so, he’s really missed that.

I told DP I was happy to go out for a few hours and pick her up afterwards and I would think about leaving her overnight but after reading everyone’s comments I think it justifies (to an extent) how I was feeling and we should just take it one step at a time to begin with!

Thank you so much for your replies!

I had my grandson when he was 6 weeks old, and have had him almost every month since then. When he was 13 months I stayed at their house for 3 nights as both DD and SIL were away on business. We had a whale of a time!