How soon did you leave newborn with someone else overnight?

[Dontbsicily]

Hello!

I have a beautiful 5 week old baby girl and my mum has offered to take her tomorrow night overnight so that DP and I can go for a meal and a couple of drinks. I’d love to spend some time with DP as we seem to be like passing ships in the night at the moment but, I don’t know if I’m ready to leave my baby yet.

She is combination fed. I tend to breastfeed the majority of the time but, then give her a bottle if we are out and about or DP will give her a couple of bottles on a night to give me a break. My Mum and sister also bottle fed her and looked after her through the night one evening to allow me a full nights sleep and she was absolutely fine so I have no doubts she would be again, I just don’t know how I feel about being in a different house all together!

How long after giving birth did you leave your babies and how was it?

Thanks in advance! :)

5 weeks!

I left mine at about 18 months for one night. No way would I have even considered it before this.

We went and stayed at my DM’s together and she did the night wakings from about 6 weeks, but in terms of actually leaving him - he was 6 months old, and we left him overnight with my DM for a wedding.

Yes people are opinionated because tiny babies need their mothers. They are hard wired to need them because their survival would have depended on the mother being there. That need doesn’t switch off because formula is available in the shops. I know it seems judgemental but you’ve had how many years with your DH being an adult going out for dinner and you can’t even manage more than 5 weeks? Why not let grandma stay and babysit at your house?

🙄🙄🙄
Tiny babies NEED a competent and loving care-giver. It’s doesn’t need to be the mother all the time.
What do you think will happen if a baby is left with a relative for the night?!

Throughout history, babies were raised by a village of people. The idea of a baby needing to be glued to only its mother is a relatively new one.

2 yrs old and haven't left her yet. No plans to for the foreseeable.

About age 2/3. Get her to babysit at yours and maybe stay over.

First ds about 6 months second ds about 7 weeks they have a great relationship with there grandparents it's down to personal choice.

DS was 9 years old and DD was 6 the first time I left them with my DM overnight.

DS was 9 months. DD is 14 months and we still haven't because a) we have no-one who could b) I still feel like I don't want to leave her anyway!

Oh also sorry, those questioning why the necessity for it to be overnight. I won’t drink whilst I take care of my daughter and so if my mum doesn’t take her overnight I will be driving!

Also, to those asking why I need to leave her overnight. I don’t, mum and DO suggested it would be nice and I was unsure if I was ready so early and curious how long others left it. Hence my hesitance! :)

DP**

I took my DN on a business trip at 2 weeks and then had her overnight for the entire week with supervised access with her mum due to severe pnd. You need to do whatever is right for you.

Entire month not week!

8.5 years old but DS is disabled and we don't have any close family, so his first night sleeping without one of us was when we finally got respite.

Um she’s 15 months and haven’t yet and don’t think I will for a long time, just don’t see the need at all. Go out for dinner with your partner, not sure why you need the whole night

If you trust your mum and you have a great relationship then why not. Its 1 night - if you don't go til say 6pm then you collect first thing, it's really not that long. It sounds like she's trying to be helpful and has a bond with the baby. I would have loved an offer of just a few hours but unfortunately 6 years later I'm still waiting!

Dd was 7 weeks, ds was 12 weeks. If she happily take a bottle she will be fine, if not you're only a phone call away. Go out and have a good time!

My first night away from DS1 was when I was in hospital having DS2 (DS1 was almost 3). My DH went home from the hospital every night to put him to bed and be around for him overnight.

DS2 is now 6 months and I haven't had a night away from me yet nor will he for quite some time. DS1 has still never spent a night without me or DH there.

Neither of my DC are good sleepers, both are/were ebf bottle refusers. People aren't exactly queuing up to have them overnight. I haven't had a full night's sleep for 4 years!

No right answer OP so do whatever suits you best. Don't feel pressured to leave your baby if you're not ready. In the nicest way your DP might need to manage his expectations a bit! A baby is a massive game changer, nights out are going to have to take a major back seat, pretty much indefinitely!

I had my brother and SIL baby for them at 3 months. Very personal decision.

I think at 5 weeks you would have to wake up every 3 hours to pump so it’s not worth it. We left DD over night at nearly 3.5 years when I was in labour.

I left my DTs overnight at 6 weeks, and for a few days at 12 weeks. I felt ready for on both occasions to leave them, they were with multiple family members who’d raised me and multiple other kids so knew they were in safe hands!

I’ve yet to leave them with a babysitter, that I’m not ready for until they can talk.

My DC stayed with my DM at 8 weeks old and I had my DTGC at 12 weeks old. There's no right or wrong answer, just trust your gut.

First left DS overnight at 21 mo after night weaning from BF (but with DH)

2.4 and haven't left him overnight with anyone else.

He doesn't tend to actually go to bed for grandparents so we have been out for dinner once or twice but had to sort him out at whatever time we got back.

We've been out for lunch etc when DS has been at nursery. There are ways round the going out for an everning/ overnight thing.

But I couldn't physically or mentally left DS overnight before I did and much as I'd love him to be at my DM's etc, I can't see it working so, it hasn't happened!

Mine were bottle fed, and I first left them overnight when they were something like 6 and 4 (older teenagers now). They stayed with my parents, and XH and I stayed with my DSis a mile away.

Only you know what you are happy with. In retrospect, I think I should have been a bit more relaxed about leaving them - but at the time, it was right not to leave them. I didn't even leave them in the day until they went to school. So I think you really just have to do whatever you feel most comfortable with at the time, and not worry what other people would or wouldn't do.

The younger oe was clamouring to go to sleepovers from the age of about 5 (which I let her go to, obviously). The older one never went to sleepovers as he liked being at home, but then went to boarding school.

There are no rights and wrongs about this. You know your child, and you know your gut feelings.