Taking in a child for 3 months?

[Ivy44]

It’s looking like DP’s ex might be going to prison for 3 months for fraud.

DP and I have 1 child and we’re currently trying for another. We also have DSD - DPs daughter with the ex that might be going to prison. Of course we have said that DSD will come and live with us if her mum goes to prison. She stays with us 2 nights a week anyway and we live quite close to her school and friends.

DPs ex has another child, an older boy, who is not DPs child. I’ve never met this child, DP never sees him anymore (DPs ex stopped them from seeing each other when she split with DP). From what we hear from DSD, the older boy is quite badly behaved. DPs ex has asked us to take the older boy as well, if she goes to prison, so that the children aren’t separated. I can see why she’s asking but I’m not comfortable about it all. I feel bad for the boy but don’t think he is our responsibility.

I think it is reasonable of you to take your DP's biological child but not the other child (who presumably has a father). It is sad for the ex's other child but not your responsibility.
Depending on the circumstances the ex may not go to prison, the impact on children is considered when sentencing is decided.

Why are so many people saying , in effect’ oh, don’t believe the 7 year old girl, siblings lie about each other ‘ The girl that the OP already knows and is clearly fond of - maybe the OP is listening to this little girl and believing her stories about being afraid of her half brother because she trusts what she says based on actual familiarity.

It’s a tricky situation all round .

It is sad for the ex's other child but not your responsibility

Do you really feel sad for the little boy? Really?

No he isn’t the Op responsibility bit that doesn’t mean she can’t be a decent human being.

I’m not even sure this thread is real as so many on here are fake these days but it’s really interesting to see the selfishness and self serving mentality of anonymous forum posters..

@cottonwoolmouth

You can be as disappointed in my DP as much as you like. He has said that he is uncomfortable about taking the boy due to the risk to DD. DP actually knows the boy.

It's easy to be sanctimonious when it's not you that's affected, cottonwool. Personally, I would put my dd's happiness and safety first, together with that of dsd - .rather than take a risk with a boy that I didn't know and had no responsibility for, but was aware had problems with his behaviour. We have been told that dsd is scared of him, and we have no reason to disbelieve her, especially as DP himself is uncomfortable with it. OP really has to be realistic here.

Just a thought OP but this obviously needs to be sorted prior to sentencing, and I can see it being OK if she gets 3 months but what if she gets 3 years?

I was just looking at the sentencing guidelines out of curiosity and if a solicitor has said "minimum 3 months" then its 26 weeks halved (the only category available - 3 months isn't there) , which fits into the category which is 18 months starting point with sentencing of 26 weeks to 3 years where 26 weeks is with mitigating factors.

If the question were "would you take in DSD's brother while Mum in prison for 3 years" I wonder what the responses would be?

I suspect a lot of people are thinking 12 weeks, fine, but you may be thinking a) what if it's more and b) she may not get the 1/2 sentence.

Cottonwoolmouth- we don't even know what the boy wants. He might prefer the uncle that he knows over someone he's not seen in years. After mum comes out he's probably not going to see OP's h ever again. I think that saying goodbye to his ex stepdad twice could leave him with issues.

Also how would he feel when the mother gets out and he returns but his sister stays?

OP has already said they want to go for residency. And looking at the mother's past already they would probably get awarded main residence.