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Original poster

My mother in law has been feeding my baby behind my

182 replies

Lisburnlane219 · 14/03/2019 20:16

So I’m going to keep this short. I would like your honest opinion on how you would react or cope with someone feeding your baby before you have started or wanted to start weaning your baby yourself? My babies first food was a rusk and she’s been being fed rusks for the last 5 weeks without me knowing. My baby has just turned 6 months old and I’ve been waiting until I thought she was ready or if not until she turned 6 months

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Hiphopopotamous · 14/03/2019 20:31

She wouldn't be left unsupervised with my baby again

foxsbiscuit · 14/03/2019 20:32

can you sort alternative childcare OP? can your family have her instead?

Bellaposey · 14/03/2019 20:32

Frankly if my MIL had done that she'd never see my daughter unsupervised again. Its a total disregard for you as a parent and your daughter's well being. I might be over reacting but I would be livid.

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oldowlgirl · 14/03/2019 20:32

That is really out of order - id never leave the baby alone with her again.

Newmum201888888 · 14/03/2019 20:32

She knew I was waiting until I thought she was ready or until she was 6 months and that I’d let her know. She’s been pressuring me and telling me that the baby was ready for food since she’s probably been 2 months old

BlueMerchant · 14/03/2019 20:33

Sorry op. Just seen pp. It makes things difficult when she's looking after her while you are working but I'd seriously be so annoyed I'd be making other arrangements before this becomes one in a long line of things she does to undermine you, believing she knows best.

Creatureofthenight · 14/03/2019 20:33

Having read your updates, I think that’s really shit of her.

Newmum201888888 · 14/03/2019 20:33

It’s a disregard for my wants for my baby

SnuggyBuggy · 14/03/2019 20:34

I'd go apeshit

Newmum201888888 · 14/03/2019 20:35

Every weekend for the last 5 weeks

Tinyteatime · 14/03/2019 20:35

Sorry I think people are overreacting. I’m sure her childcare won’t look so bad when you have to pay a few hundred pounds per month to replace it. Yes I’d be upset and angry but I wouldn’t burn my bridges!

Arnoldthecat · 14/03/2019 20:35

She's one of them! Interfering and thinking she knows best.
I'd never leave my child alone with her again! Perhaps a little harsh? Im sure MIL loves her grandchild to bits and also the childs parents. Modern parents rely such a lot on grandparents for childcare and other support and one must be careful not to fling the baby out with the bath water.

If the matter hasnt been discussed, she might even think the baby is already on rusks. Were the rusks already in the house or did she bring them ?

Easterbunnyiscomingsoon · 14/03/2019 20:36

My exmil told me she would give my vegi dc meat when I wasn't around.
She never had dc unsupervised. Ever.
Job done.
If she is childcare op, time to find a nursery /cm.

SnuggyBuggy · 14/03/2019 20:37

I think the whole attitude that mums should have to be so grateful for free childcare that they should gladly tolerate anything absolutely vile.

No one gives babies rusks anymore. How thick is this woman?

Marmite27 · 14/03/2019 20:39

I’d be fuming if it was another adult. My elder DC decided to wean her sister on pombears, but I took different approach with that one.

Soubriquet · 14/03/2019 20:39

I would be furious too

It’s not the fact she’s feeding her food. It’s the fact she’s lying about it. It’s made worse by your “dp” defending her too.

You and your dp should have to an agreement of when to start weaning not your mil

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 14/03/2019 20:39

You need to sort out alternative childcare. I say that as someone whose own mother still does similar with my DC. I've gone low contact more times than I can remember. People like this dont change, they'll toe the line for abit then they'll just try to be sneakier next time. I used nursery from the off as I knew she couldn't be trusted. Sorry.

Newmum201888888 · 14/03/2019 20:39

Me and my partner have issues, his mother can do know wrong. I had left for 2 weeks 5 weeks ago... when I started to notice the unusual nappies. So his mum has taken advantage of the situation and started feeding the baby because me and him weren’t of talking terms

anniehm · 14/03/2019 20:40

It's annoying but keep it in perspective, weaning schedules have varied over the years and waiting until 6 months is often questioned. I came back to my 6 month dd being fed boiled egg and soldiers, she had even solids but not egg, wheat or dairy yet! She was fine. (Mum simply told me it's what she fed me at that age which I completely believe)

Stuckforthefourthtime · 14/03/2019 20:42

I'd be really annoyed. In particular, even if you do choose to wean a bit early they specifically say no foods containing wheat before 6 months, including rusks.

She's taken a special milestone, kept secrets from you, and not bothered to check the latest research because she thinks she knows best.
The only good thing is that it's a very clear warning about how she's likely to behaved later on....

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 14/03/2019 20:43

She told me my baby isn’t a science project

I'd tell her my DD isn't a rubbish bin either.

SemperIdem · 14/03/2019 20:43

Why are you responding using a different username to your op?

Redcrayons · 14/03/2019 20:45

I would be livid and it would be a long long time before she was left alone with them.

BlackPrism · 14/03/2019 20:48

Tell her you know she's not a science project, which is why you are using the advised medical methods rather than just throwing things at her and hoping they'll work. I'd be just as angry at that arguements tbh, implying that you aren't treating or viewing your child 'right'.

CrazyOldBagLady · 14/03/2019 20:50

Considering your updates, I somehow suspect your DP might be complicit in this. Either way I wouldn't let her have sole charge of your daughter anymore. The rusk isn't the issue, it's that she thinks she knows better than you and can overrule you when it comes to parenting decisions with your own daughter.

It's early weaning now but what next? Ignoring advice on giving honey or whole nuts? Salt and sugar? Whiskey on dummies? Car seats? Smacking? I don't think she can be trusted to look after your daughter in the way you want her to.