Stopping at one child so they can go to private school? Wwyd?

[fairybeagle]

If you had the choice would you choose to put your child through a private education or give them a sibling.
I wonder which is more beneficial..?

Interested to hear peoples opinions.

You do know that people manage to thrive with state school educations?

Yes but they aren't as good imo. I hated mine and want more for my DC. Especially in relation to extra curricular, music, sports and behaviour. I think a state school just can't match up

Definitely a sibling. One of the great joys of my life is watching the close bond between my DC. That will bring them comfort and company throughout their lives. They both go to state schools.

If you have a sibling would you swap them for having had the chance to have a private education?

Sibling. My ds is our only surviving child and he would have loved a sibling growing up.

He's bright and got into grammer school so we didn't need to pay for private ed anyway.

I benefitted enormously from being an only child in terms of extracurricular stuff, my parents' attention, etc (and help with a house deposit as an adult!). I didn't benefit at all from the private school my parents sent me to for a couple of years in the mistaken belief that private education is automatically better.

I'd have siblings, of course. It seems a very odd thing to only have one child where you would otherwise want more than that, just to afford to privately educate them.

I'm sure I won't be able to convince you that state schools are fine, but many are!

Do you want another child? Surely that should be the focus of your decision.

Definitely siblings.

Having said that, there are a LOT of families at DC’s prep school who would have loved to have had a third child, and the difficulty in coming up with a third set of fees is a major reason why they don’t.

How would you know that private school is better if you didn’t go to one?
I went to a state school and it was great but I have no point of comparison. And every school is different, obviously.

I don't think private school is worth the existence of a whole new amazing person.

I have one child. If I had 2, she wouldn't be at an independent school. But I wouldn't stop at 1 just for the school

What a sad thing to ask.

Personally I wouldn't send my DC to private school even if I could easily afford it. The bond and relationship between siblings (even if the relationship is imperfect) is worth so much more than 'a good education' or 'a good job'. Happiness doesn't come from those things - it's just materialistic and shallow.

You obviously disagree. Maybe have a think about what's really important in life...

Private school definitely

What if the child isn't academic, grows up and wants to be a hairdresser/mechanic etc...

What difference will choosing a private school mean then, and to think you'll have sacrificed having another child solely for that reason

I know a couple who made this choice - private school over a sibling. I'd choose sibling any day

That's a lot of pressure on one kid when they hit adulthood.

I think it’s a lot of pressure to put on a child, who might long for a sibling.
“We didn’t have another child so you could go to this school, so we expect you to work hard and get A’s....”

Sounds pretty toxic actually

OP I went to both private and state schools. My friends and I from state sixth form college all went to Oxford or Cambridge, nobody in my year at my former private school did.

Sibling(s) definitely. I couldn’t stop at one through choice personally, I love the bond my children have. I have 4, 2 older, 2 younger. The older two go out together to eat/cinema/visit the older ones uni. The younger two I saw yesterday playing ‘horses’ together and went on a bike ride together. I will always love seeing how they interact much more than their bloody exam results. All are in state school, all doing very well, oldest got very good A Levels and now at uni. They just need support and encouragement.

I've chosen to have an only child, we can't afford to send her to private school but the fact that we can give her lots of extracurriculars, travel, private tuition when needed and probably a deposit on a house when she's older was a factor.

DH and I were both privately educated. We could afford to send one child to private school. We did visit the private school that DD1 would have been most likely to go to when she was 3. But we went ahead with having DD2.

Our decision to have DD2 want as stark as "private school or second child" as we didn't particularly rate the private school option and the travel put us off as DD1 would have had a 1 hour round trip commute each day and have had friends living miles away. Instead she goes to our local school with local friends.

We thought about what we do if her school isn't sufficient and came to the conclusion that some tutoring is much cheaper than private school.

I think that schools have moved on considerably since we went to primary school - DD1 seems to have rigorous teaching to high standards and is doing really well. My private primary education was distinctly mediocre.

DD1 is the kind of child who will do well anywhere. Time will tell if DD2 is the same.

I also hated my state high school op but there's a lot of good ones out there now.

I've got 2 kids, could afford private school for both (at a push!) but send them to the excellent local high school instead.

They're in top sets so are being educated with very bright and able kids (like they would be at private school) but unlike private school they are in lessons and friendship groups with many kids of different abilities, backgrounds, races and religions etc.

High school has come a long way since I was there, I'm very pleased with my DCs school and it's a million miles from the bullying, low achieving shithole I went to!

Slightly off topic but I knew an only child whose parents gave her the choice (at the age of 11) of skiing holidays or private school. She chose skiing. What 11 year old wouldn't!

I didn't, i chose private school at 11 years old