mother left her children sleeping in the car and went shopping....one of them woke up....

[ruddynorah]

i work at a huge out of town m&s with an enormous car park. this woman left her small baby and her 3 year old daughter asleep in the car. she locked the doors and left the windows slightly open (it was very very hot) and went into the store to do some food shopping.

while she was shopping, the 3 year old woke up, unlocked the car door, got out and started wandering around the car park. so there she is, bare feet, half asleep, dummy in her mouth, looking for her mummy... when another customer saw her and brought her into the store for us to look after and find her mum.

the 3 year old tells me her baby sister is still asleep in the car. so we did a tannoy for her mum (at that point not sure if she actually was in our store or the asda next door, or the boots...or that the girl had given us the correct name) and the security guard went into the car park to look for this car with the door possibly wide open and a baby asleep in it( or maybe awake by then).

so i'm standing there with this 3 year old feeling slightly shaky at how awful the whole thing is, when the mother turns up with the security guard. she's gone to her car with the shopping to find her 3 year old missing. the security guard found her shouting for her daughter. she's apparently mildly concerned, but not terribly. she sees the look on my face and says... 'i know what you're thinking and it's not like that actually, i only left them for 5 minutes to get a few bits so don't look at me like that, how was i to know she could unlock the car?!' and off they went

i'm not quite sure how i was looking at her, my head was just racing with...what if someone had run this tiny child over, or what if she'd wandered off and no one stopped her...or what if someone reached in and opened the car door and took her... silly, silly woman. doubt she'll do it again.

i use pay and go petrol stations, usually at supermarkets.

sorry cross posts, mine was to VG

filly if your kids are fine then that's ok, isn't it? Did you feel I was saying you shouldn't do it?

oh no, that was a general comment.

I certainly wouldn't advocate leaving a child who wasn't comfortable with being left. (ever, tbh, but thats another thread )

F&Z no it doesn't but I'm just trying to understand why I have never seen this actually happen when, judging by opinion on this thread, it is what everyone actually does.

I don't. I struggle to not be run over myself when going to pay for petrol.

Only perfect people do this, but it is just foolhardy because forecourts are very slippy and people drive off and don't care about pedestrians. All waaay more risky than armed robbers stealing your car with dcs in it.

I'm with hmc. Her actions, imo, are indefensible.

There is no way I'd leave children of that age in the car while I went into the supermarket. If they fell asleep I'd have to just do without whatever it was I was going for. Unless it was life saving medication, you could probably do without it until later in the day or the next day.

Or, you wake them up and you get a packet of raisins/baguette/bag of buttons to keep them occupied in the trolley for 10 mins.

Yes, it's a PITA taking kids into the supermarket sometimes - life ain't easy is it?! So what, you just leave them behind?! It's beyond me.

VG from reading past threads on the subject it is certainly NOT what everybody does, no

Filly I think ds would be happier about it if there was someone else (a sibling) in the car. I still might hesitate because of car alarm type unexpected scenario, though

If I need petrol I pay at the pump, do it when they aren't with me (think ahead or end up going out at night when dh gets home) or get dh to go.

NLNN I don't think it is "foolhardy" not to leave your children in the forecourt if they don't want to be left. We're not perfect people, but ds cried when dp left him by himself, so now we take him in.

ah we don't have a car alarm see

doors just about shut, so thats ok...

newlife agree. my big fear on petrol forecourts, tbh, is people roaring off w/o paying.

i don't think it attracts good drivers

(I must admit that i sometimes go to pay at pump and the kids then make SUCH a fuss I have to get out and walk round the car a few times til they've had their grown up thrill)

No we don't have a car alarm either

I meant that kind of unexpected scenario that could throw a small child

BUT franny, here's the difference i think

you have only one, so you can adequately corral him?

i have 2, and bascially its like herding cats, i just don't feel safe

it's the 'just a few bits' i'm not tickled by... you can buy 'bits' at local shops, where you might pay more but you'd at least be able to park outside.
ruddynorah said it's a long walk across the car par... imagine you'd been pulling out after doing your shopping and backed into that drowsy three-year-old? [feels quite sick]

(I also think its a game of percentages and what it really comes down to is what you and your dc feel safest with)

I've done a rough calculation - there are approximately 30 different posters on this thread and from what I can gather, only 4of us would ever consider leaving a child in the car so that means approximately 87% of us would always take them everywhere and I have to assume that this includes petrol stations, so why have I never seen this?

Yes I can see the herding cats thing Filly

god I wish we could park outside local shops near us, no chance

i'm not at the petrol station stage yet, so far dd and dh stay in car or i get it on my own or pay at the machine with my card.

I actually remember a very vivid memory, infact prob my earliest memory, of waking up without my mum there (she had nipped into the shoe shop, the car was right outside the shop) and i remember how heavily it was raining, and i couldnt see her anywhere, i was alone.

I can still feel that panic i felt, and the relief when i realised she was coming back...horrible! and reading this thread has just made me remember.

I can also say that occasionally, if my ds (10 mth) or dd (3yo) have fallen asleep on the way to my mums i have left them in the car, on my mums drive way, which is literally under the kitchen window, as soon as they start stirring and waking up i go out, as i don't know about everyone else's LO's, but mine are always abit out of it when they first wake up and disorientated.

Another point i want to add, is completely daft i suppose considering all the other factors but why was there no child lock on the door to this woman's car? My dd is at that age now where if she could she would have a go at opening her car door...hence why child locks were invented.

oh its my age old problem really

somehow i have failed to live on a left wing but pro science commune, and thus i have to look after my kids ALONE.

seriously, there's not one shop where you can buy milk and pull in outside with you hazards on?

what is it about mumsnet that i start off reading a scary thread and end up sniggering on the sofa?? i can't even decide if that is good or not. pmsl at spontaneous combustion though. that is a shocking story and sent a bit of a shiver down me - poor woman, I bet she got a real shock, and poor poor 3 year old, how scary

anyone read that thread about kids getting put up for adoption btw? i would hesitate to call ss after reading stuff like that tbh

Well I can't think of one, Aitch, no

you mean without parking illegally, or on the pavement?

Ahh, Aitch do you speak for the multitude? So it's OK to leave a kid in a car right outside the shop but not a carpark? Kid could still wake up and open car onto a busy road. Sorry but I'm playing at devil's advocate here.

VG, because 'do you leave your children in the car at petrol stations' threads come up so often that some of us can't be arsed to post on that subject. There was one fairly recently (and fwiw, I leave mine in the car).

Oops forgot to add, i do leave my dc in the car, while i nip into PO, or to pay for petrol, but they are awake, i lock the car, leave the window slightly open, and leave the car in gear (i always do this anyway, i dont trust handbrakes!)

I suppose yes it is a risk to leave them, but it is a major time saver and much less hassle than trying to control my dd from running off (she is a serious daydreamer) while carrying 2 stone ds!