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mother left her children sleeping in the car and went shopping....one of them woke up....

333 replies

ruddynorah · 10/06/2007 17:53

i work at a huge out of town m&s with an enormous car park. this woman left her small baby and her 3 year old daughter asleep in the car. she locked the doors and left the windows slightly open (it was very very hot) and went into the store to do some food shopping.

while she was shopping, the 3 year old woke up, unlocked the car door, got out and started wandering around the car park. so there she is, bare feet, half asleep, dummy in her mouth, looking for her mummy... when another customer saw her and brought her into the store for us to look after and find her mum.

the 3 year old tells me her baby sister is still asleep in the car. so we did a tannoy for her mum (at that point not sure if she actually was in our store or the asda next door, or the boots...or that the girl had given us the correct name) and the security guard went into the car park to look for this car with the door possibly wide open and a baby asleep in it( or maybe awake by then).

so i'm standing there with this 3 year old feeling slightly shaky at how awful the whole thing is, when the mother turns up with the security guard. she's gone to her car with the shopping to find her 3 year old missing. the security guard found her shouting for her daughter. she's apparently mildly concerned, but not terribly. she sees the look on my face and says... 'i know what you're thinking and it's not like that actually, i only left them for 5 minutes to get a few bits so don't look at me like that, how was i to know she could unlock the car?!' and off they went

i'm not quite sure how i was looking at her, my head was just racing with...what if someone had run this tiny child over, or what if she'd wandered off and no one stopped her...or what if someone reached in and opened the car door and took her... silly, silly woman. doubt she'll do it again.

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ruddynorah · 10/06/2007 20:54

if she'd been that desperate for a few bits there's actually an asda next door, car park nearer, or even the asda petrol station a bit further along that sells basic groceries.

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Enid · 10/06/2007 20:54

people dont leave their kids in the car when they pay for petrol ?

pucca · 10/06/2007 20:55

Exactly Enid!

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Peachy · 10/06/2007 20:55

I do leave the kids in the car at a petrol station- but the local one I can see them from and they can't get out (lock car). Its a balance of risk then- three kids on a forecourt are imo more likely to get hit than 3 kids safely strapped into a car.

FrannyandZooey · 10/06/2007 20:56

No we don't Enid

ds doesn't like it

Malaleche · 10/06/2007 20:57

have only read part of thread - in Spain people regularly get arrested for leaving their DCs unattended in cars - is it not illegal to do that in the UK?

Enid · 10/06/2007 20:57

well I spose I would take my kids if they didnt like being left

actually dd2 doesnt like being left somtimes (or wants to try it on for sweets I am not sure which )

pucca · 10/06/2007 20:57

God! my dd almost gets knocked down by people with a shopping trolley in Tesco, can just imagine her let loose on a petrol forecourt!

Malaleche · 10/06/2007 20:58

i mean going away and leaving them there for an hour or whatever ,not in a petrol station.

FrannyandZooey · 10/06/2007 20:58

we don't let him loose funnily enough

zookeeper · 10/06/2007 20:59

I left my three year old and five year old in the car briefly yesterday whilst I ran through Asda to collect my purse with all my cards and money that I had left there. I was in and out in less than five minutes.

Not the wisest thing to do but who can honestly say they don't ever take claculated risks?

If something like this had happened I would of course have felt stupid and guilt-stricken.

A susbsequent call from a social worker "for a chat about safety" when there are mums in this country subjecting their children to mental and physical sustained and prolonged abuse and neglect would be a complete waste of resources imo

Aitch · 10/06/2007 20:59

lol at me speaking for the multitude. me personally, i don't find leaving kids in car okay but i've only got one and do most of my shopping on foot so don't have a big 'car head' on.
those people who are sympathetic to her are coming at it from teh perpsective of having more than one child, which i can kinda see.
However, my point is that if she was only in for 'bits' and found it okay to leave kids in car on hot day then she might at least have left them somewhere that she could stick her head round the door and check they were still asleep, rather than cross a carpark (and pass an asda, by all accounts) and go to M&S.
i think she's lying, basically. and i would ahve been Very Shaken Up if i was ruddynorah. or, lord knows, her child. my dad very occasionally left us in the car when we were children and despite the fact that he brought out coke and crisps (big treat) i still hated it.

VoluptuaGoodshag · 10/06/2007 21:00

Ruddynorah - judging by how much shopping she had and in which bags - how long do you think she had been away from the car in your opinion?

pucca · 10/06/2007 21:00

Franny...it would pretty much end up like that if i took my dd and ds in the petrol station everytime, ds is only 10 mth so it is pretty difficult to have any control on my dd when carrying him, she sees it as a opportunity!

FioFio · 10/06/2007 21:01

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adath · 10/06/2007 21:01

I wouldn't leave dc's in a car park and go to a shop if they are asleep I don't go I can go later when dp home if necessary. When all my car doors are locked the drivers door will still open from the outside so dd could open it no problem and she may just do that. I would not worry so much about them being abducted but the mutitude of other things that could happen.
The only time I would leave them in the car is to go and pay for petrol or nipping into the local paper shop as I only ever go in there for one maybe 2 things can park at the door and see the car the whole time but dd generally wants to come anyway to beg for a comic so ds comes too.

When you talk the days people left the pram outside shops you are not talking about huge big supermarkets you are talking about small corner shops with your neighbours going in and out where you can see the pram the whole time. A large car park that could service lots of large stores is IMO totally different.

VoluptuaGoodshag · 10/06/2007 21:02

And how far was the car from the shop?

FioFio · 10/06/2007 21:02

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Aitch · 10/06/2007 21:02

aaah zees are good questions, meez voluptua...

ruddynorah, do you 'ave an answer?

VoluptuaGoodshag · 10/06/2007 21:03

curtseys to Aitch ..

Aitch · 10/06/2007 21:04

i lived in australia a while back when they changed the laws to allow out-of-town supercasinos. quite a few babies and dogs died, in all seriousness. even with windows open... they damn near repealed the laws.

FioFio · 10/06/2007 21:04

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VoluptuaGoodshag · 10/06/2007 21:05

OMG you mean it's not OK to leave a child in a cat whilst you go and play poker for 5 hours

fillyjonk · 10/06/2007 21:05

why not, fio?

i'd leave a preschooler and a baby, if i could see them.

i really think, if you have several kids, the car IS the safest place

MANY more kids are killed on petrol station forecourts each year than abducted. MANY MANY more.

And IME, I am not able to cope with herding 2 kids across a petrol station. I am too feeble

ruddynorah · 10/06/2007 21:05

i would say 50 metres from the main door, then the food section to the tills is probably another 100 metres from there. she had put her shopping in the car then come back looking for the 3 year old, so we didn't see how much shopping she had. her car wasn't on camera, we checked.

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