mother left her children sleeping in the car and went shopping....one of them woke up....

[ruddynorah]

i work at a huge out of town m&s with an enormous car park. this woman left her small baby and her 3 year old daughter asleep in the car. she locked the doors and left the windows slightly open (it was very very hot) and went into the store to do some food shopping.

while she was shopping, the 3 year old woke up, unlocked the car door, got out and started wandering around the car park. so there she is, bare feet, half asleep, dummy in her mouth, looking for her mummy... when another customer saw her and brought her into the store for us to look after and find her mum.

the 3 year old tells me her baby sister is still asleep in the car. so we did a tannoy for her mum (at that point not sure if she actually was in our store or the asda next door, or the boots...or that the girl had given us the correct name) and the security guard went into the car park to look for this car with the door possibly wide open and a baby asleep in it( or maybe awake by then).

so i'm standing there with this 3 year old feeling slightly shaky at how awful the whole thing is, when the mother turns up with the security guard. she's gone to her car with the shopping to find her 3 year old missing. the security guard found her shouting for her daughter. she's apparently mildly concerned, but not terribly. she sees the look on my face and says... 'i know what you're thinking and it's not like that actually, i only left them for 5 minutes to get a few bits so don't look at me like that, how was i to know she could unlock the car?!' and off they went

i'm not quite sure how i was looking at her, my head was just racing with...what if someone had run this tiny child over, or what if she'd wandered off and no one stopped her...or what if someone reached in and opened the car door and took her... silly, silly woman. doubt she'll do it again.

Mine did, and he hardly ever goes in a car.

Really Enid. Simplistically, Both instances the child was left alone. But with one the world is nothing but sympathetic. With this lady, WK007 says neglect.

oh god, fillyboy is clearly a bit remedial in the undoing of locks department

thats me keeping off the g+t threads then

LOL

it's not a GIFT believe me. It's a CURSE

were the kids not in a seatbelt also?

or is fillyboy the only MN kid who, at 3, can't get himself out of a seatbelt?

please say it is not so, i shall be

It isn't that surprising, really, is it?

Shopping with kids is a mare, sleeps always happen at the wrong time, when you've been praying all day for them to fall asleep and waking them mucks up the day's routine, etc.

My dcs could get out of their belts at 3. ds1 being the most capable in this department. They do this driving along and I have to pull over abruptly.

Anyway, it's like the 'better to arrive late than not at all' idea. Not realisitic. We'll always take chances and surprisingly often with our children. It is perverse but true, we humans are risk takers. All of us.

well, ds1 has always been a tactile child. To the point where a walk around the shops results in a litany of maternal "don't touch that it's not yours stop fiddling with that do NOT unwrap things sit down in that trolley and do not take things off the shelf stop fiddling with things please do not touch that because it'#s not yours"

so he could undo a seatbelt at 3 - but the amount of times My mum has had to pull an emergancy stop because he is gaily bouncing around untethered and in the process of undoing the window - negates any positives really.

last week an 11 month old baby died in the car after being left there by his mother. This happened in Holland.

The week before a 5 month old baby died having been left in the car by his mother. This happened in Belgium, close to where I live.

Just a few miles away from the UK, but these things are barely if at all reported in the UK.

last week, I stayed in the car with my two children while dh went into a shop for a few minutes. By mistake, he locked the doors, and we were all locked in the car and couldn't open the windows. Withing those five minutes it became almost unbearably hot, and the feeling of being trapped was very scarey.

Does anyone else out there have the most horrendous arguments/rows (i mean the screaming hate-filled type)with their husband and feel like they are the only ones? Our relationship has really hit rock bottom. We are both extremely unhappy and yet I feel that everyone around us are in blissfully happy(ish) relationships. I know that of course other people have their ups and downs, but I have got it into my head that we are in a class of our own. I feel like I am carrying around a 'dirty' secret and struggle with the pressure of acting the 'happily married' scenario on the very rare occasions we find ourselves in company. I can't bear to think about the vibes that my 1 year old ds might be picking up in the house. You could cut the atmosphere with a knife - I am torturing myself with guilt. I'll stop there now or else this would run on and on as I went into detail - wouldn't want to subject anyone to that! Just desparately want to hear from anyone who this strikes a chord with...

at coldiz

what ds DOES do is to wriggle houdini like out of his straps

have you come across hug its? they are lifesavers

Highlandfling - did you mean to post on this thread?

STUPID woman

To be honest, HF, yes I did - and then we split up. So maybe your screaming hatefilled rows are not normal for a relationship that's going somewhere

aw highlandfling you may want to start a new thread - or did you mean to?

oops - meant that to be a new post - this is far too technical for me...

He has stopped doing it now he is 4 (thank the heavens) but his life is still one big Fiddle. He opens things to see why I closed them, that sort of thing.

hercules, by 'current climate' I simply meant that everyones a bit more jumpy than usual, whereas before the chances were someone would do as the OP did and call the mum, with feelings running high atm, its more likely that someone would ring the police/SS. Plus its made everyone more aware of the dangers of leaving kids unattended .. Not saying that its right to do so anytime , either now or before Madeleine McCann, just that I would have thought that parents would be even more aware of the dangers . Sorry not explainung very well, hope you get the gist

Highland, I think you need to start a new thread to get the best feedback on your situation. If you haven't used MN before, go to 'topic list' at the top of the page, then choose a section to start a new conversation in.

I don't leave ds on his own in the car while we go shopping - never have - but I have left him sleeping on our own drive, with the windows open. Not something I feel very comfortable about, tbh.

Mind you, dh and I are far from perfect, we once both went out to the local shops (walking distance) separately, each of us thinking the other one was in the house with sleeping ds. No harm done, thank Christ. But the shock of turning the corner of the street and bumping into dh was terrible.

i dunno, i wonder why i can't get worked up about it

i suppose i just don't think someone IS going to smash in a car window in broad daylight in the middle of a crowded car park and abduct a child.

the heat thing IS an issue, I agree.

But I am also nervous about having my kids roaming about a car park, if I am honest.

If I had to buy one or two items and the car was on sight, and they were asleep (they NEED their sleep) I'd be tempted, if i had a suitable shop.

Oblomov - I'm not going to comment on what I think of the McCanns because, as I said, I think it would be too insensitive to try and make any sort of judgement when their child is still missing - whether they were right or wrong, there's nothing they can do about it. The mother in this case still has her child so can change what she does in the future which is why I feel it is safe, and maybe useful, to point out just how irresponsible it is.

That's why I used the playing in the road analogy, where there could be 2 identical examples but because of the outcome you'd treat them in a totally different way.

OK WK007, I accept that. Lets let it go.

I left my 5 year old ds in the car at my local ASDA yesterday, I ahd to pop into the pharmacy for some tablets. He was pooped and wanted to stay in the car, he had water and a magazine, but I must say it was the first time I have done it and I ran like the wind in and out of the shop.

I was more scared of ds somehow releasing teh handbake or something awful.

Would never have done it with a 3 yr old though.

Fair enough

i can imagine it being on the verge of ok if she had needed 'a few bits' so went to a shop she could park right outside of, seeing her car the whole time... but this was nothing like that. the store is HUGE. she had to walk all the way across it to get to the food section.

i think i felt the whole situation worse than an outsider perhaps because i was the manager on duty having to think ok what do i do now, i have a 3 year old here, a baby somewhere in the car park, this kid's mum doesn't know the kid is missing, is the car door still open... etc etc. phew, glad the children are ok now.

i personally would have taken her details and passed a report of teh incident to social services, after telling her that it was my intention to do so.
she has left her child in significant risk and therefore could be charged with neglect.

her response proves she was aware her actions were disgarcefull as she was obviously guilty.