mother left her children sleeping in the car and went shopping....one of them woke up....

[ruddynorah]

i work at a huge out of town m&s with an enormous car park. this woman left her small baby and her 3 year old daughter asleep in the car. she locked the doors and left the windows slightly open (it was very very hot) and went into the store to do some food shopping.

while she was shopping, the 3 year old woke up, unlocked the car door, got out and started wandering around the car park. so there she is, bare feet, half asleep, dummy in her mouth, looking for her mummy... when another customer saw her and brought her into the store for us to look after and find her mum.

the 3 year old tells me her baby sister is still asleep in the car. so we did a tannoy for her mum (at that point not sure if she actually was in our store or the asda next door, or the boots...or that the girl had given us the correct name) and the security guard went into the car park to look for this car with the door possibly wide open and a baby asleep in it( or maybe awake by then).

so i'm standing there with this 3 year old feeling slightly shaky at how awful the whole thing is, when the mother turns up with the security guard. she's gone to her car with the shopping to find her 3 year old missing. the security guard found her shouting for her daughter. she's apparently mildly concerned, but not terribly. she sees the look on my face and says... 'i know what you're thinking and it's not like that actually, i only left them for 5 minutes to get a few bits so don't look at me like that, how was i to know she could unlock the car?!' and off they went

i'm not quite sure how i was looking at her, my head was just racing with...what if someone had run this tiny child over, or what if she'd wandered off and no one stopped her...or what if someone reached in and opened the car door and took her... silly, silly woman. doubt she'll do it again.

Would all those parents from years ago who left prams outside shops be considered to be neglectful nowadays?? It's a change of times but the same thing only a bigger scale. Most folk shop at supermarkets now because they live on big housing estates with crappy public transport so they have to get into their cars and go shopping. So a mother takes a risk in thinking I'll be able to quickly get a few things before they wake up. Perhaps they'd been awake for ages and she thought she'd manage it because they were so tired. Perhaps she'd had a really bad day and the thought of waking the kids to howl round the supermarket was just too much, perhaps she didn't realise that the 3 year old would figure out how to open the car door. Perhaps she is a stressed out mother and has no one to help her.

Like someone mentioned before, it's a risk. The risk of them getting knocked down crossing the carpark with a hassled mother trying to hold onto them is probably greater. So get a noose and hang the poor woman from the gallows if it makes you feel better

Good post, Voluptua.

Calling SS is totally OTT and exactly the kind of wasting SS time that means that families in real need never, ever get anywhere with getting vital support.

I had a similar situation in a car park where the dad had left a 5 year old and a 2 year old in the car while he went shopping

the car alarm had gone off and the 2 children were locked in the car very upset (tears on both faces), frightened, unable to get help and listening to that awful car alarm wailing

I couldn't do anything except gesture madly through the window and go to tell the supermarket people who found the dad

I didn't think it was dangerous, and I am surprised how the situation in the OP turned dangerous so quickly, as I wouldn't have foreseen that, but I do think it can be frightening for children to be left alone - unexpected things can happen so easily. For that reason I was cross with the dad and for that reason I wouldn't leave ds alone in the car.

I've done it with my older children - literally, run into shop for one item and out again. Don't think i'd do it with very young children though.

Yes sorry should have specified young children

I don't know what age I would consider too young, it would depend on the child, but IMO 3 or 5 too young to be oldest child left in car

never understand why people leave their kids - the things most precious & important to them - in situations like this. Would they leave their purse or wedding ring on the car seat???

God, I just knew someone would defend her indefensible actions!

"The risk of them getting knocked down crossing the carpark with a hassled mother trying to hold onto them is probably greater."

Really? higher risk than the 3 year old crossing the car park on her own (as she did)

Well wouldn't it have been boring otherwise. You were all no doubt desperate for someone to come along and defend her so a real bun fight can start. Glad to oblige

(opens mouth to catch a bun)

Yes it makes for a potentially more interesting thread, I'll give you that. Can't possibly have unanimity

But cars aren't the prams of yesteryear - they are machines that get hot, get knocked into, can run someone over. They're filled with petrol - very flammable.

Leave your kids in an environment like this just for a packet of peas or whatever???? is it worth the risk?

Who's defending her actions HMC? We are just empathising a little aren't we?

Anyone can make a wanky decision. Calling SS is a waste of time and pointlessly irresponsible in my view.

No HMC - of course it's a greater risk of getting knocked for the child to be walking alone than with her mother but I was talking about the whole situation. What were the odds of them waking up, being able to open the door etc. etc. So what if the mother had been reported to the SS? Would they have removed her children who no doubt love her and she is probably a great mum trying to do her best. This thread is just another example of how hard it is to be so bloody perfect like everyone else

Well - granted I wouldn't necessarily call Social Services (I'm not sure really whether I would or not without being there to see it first hand) - but ruddynorah's description of the mum being 'mildly concerned' makes me less inclined to empathy....

And how often do cars spontaneously combust in carparks these days? I can't say I've ever noticed this.

The odds of waking and opening the door seem to be higher than we might think however, since Pixiefish reports a first hand experience of witnessing something very similar with a 4 year old....

if a car crashed into the car with kids then it's always a possibility.

Calling SS is totally OTT and exactly the kind of wasting SS time that means that families in real need never, ever get anywhere with getting vital support.

Sorry but i am a social worker and would not have found this sort of report to be a waste of time.
leaving two children in a car in the heat we have had recently is bad enough but for that child to be left long enough for her to get out of teh car and wander around a car park alone, at great risk of being hit and killed...im sorry that is neglect and a pefect use of social services time and efforts

Actually, the thing that stopped me leaving my (then two) dcs in the car (kind of on our garden and in view) behind my house if they fell asleep (door open, 5 min checks, blah, blah) was her telling me about a car that did combust in a street killing two children inside.

This was in the DM, of course, about 5 years ago.

I think spontaneously combusting is something of a red herring, lol. But getting overly warm in the very sultry weather we have been having, or getting out of the car, or waking up and panicking - all are reasonably likely

If I left my three year old asleep in the car, she would be guaranteed to wake up, get out of her car seat (she is a houdini), let up the hand brake and let the car roll down the hill where we live...

I am never tempted to leave her asleep alone in the car; She never stays asleep in a motionless car.

what about the news story about a mum who forgot her kid in a car with tragic results? read this on mumsnet. If only someone had called for help.

Mamazon, my ex dP did far worse things to us as a family but unfortunately SS didn't have the resources to step in.

Fortunately he didn't kill us and I didn't kill myself.

and a call to social services about an act of stupidity/poor judgment does not result in the children being removed. it would more than likely result in a visit and chat about safety and the mothers responsibility for her children. it would be hooed she would be worried enough at the initial investigation that she woukld take more care in fiture. the SW would be able to explain to her just how easily seemingly harmless situations can go terribly wrong.