mother left her children sleeping in the car and went shopping....one of them woke up....

[ruddynorah]

i work at a huge out of town m&s with an enormous car park. this woman left her small baby and her 3 year old daughter asleep in the car. she locked the doors and left the windows slightly open (it was very very hot) and went into the store to do some food shopping.

while she was shopping, the 3 year old woke up, unlocked the car door, got out and started wandering around the car park. so there she is, bare feet, half asleep, dummy in her mouth, looking for her mummy... when another customer saw her and brought her into the store for us to look after and find her mum.

the 3 year old tells me her baby sister is still asleep in the car. so we did a tannoy for her mum (at that point not sure if she actually was in our store or the asda next door, or the boots...or that the girl had given us the correct name) and the security guard went into the car park to look for this car with the door possibly wide open and a baby asleep in it( or maybe awake by then).

so i'm standing there with this 3 year old feeling slightly shaky at how awful the whole thing is, when the mother turns up with the security guard. she's gone to her car with the shopping to find her 3 year old missing. the security guard found her shouting for her daughter. she's apparently mildly concerned, but not terribly. she sees the look on my face and says... 'i know what you're thinking and it's not like that actually, i only left them for 5 minutes to get a few bits so don't look at me like that, how was i to know she could unlock the car?!' and off they went

i'm not quite sure how i was looking at her, my head was just racing with...what if someone had run this tiny child over, or what if she'd wandered off and no one stopped her...or what if someone reached in and opened the car door and took her... silly, silly woman. doubt she'll do it again.

adath....I'm neither naive either! Having had my Father killed in a road accident almost 2yrs ago I am well aware of the dangers on the road, thank you. Oh and to add to that he was hit by a 19yr old boy who was 3 times over the legal limit and high on ectasy, he was banned for 1yr and fined just £150. That's justice for you in this lovely world we live in...and I lost someone very dear to me.

barney2 I'm confused by your post. I think you've put nots and uns in where they shouldn't be.

But no of course I don't consider it safe to have a child in a car and not strap him or her in. Nowhere in my postings do I imply such an eccentric view so I'm a bit puzzled as to why you should have extrapolated that.

My point is, the view of what is an acceptable risk changes. The risk itself doesn't always change. You think it's acceptable to take a child in car as a passenger. While condemning other parents for taking risks demonstrably less dangerous than that. I don't condemn you for taking that risk, it's a risk I take myself and I agree with you that if you didn't take those risks, you would have to put your life on hold.

I bet it would irritate you profusely if someone came on and implied that you were irresponsible for taking that risk though, wouldn't it?

And can I point out again, that nobody, but nobody, has said that the woman in the OP did the right thing.

This has all been blown way out of proportion. I merely asked that if you feel its dangerous to strap a child in a car seat I've turned this point around and asked so its safe to leave it unstrapped?!! LOL!!! You may well call it an 'eccentric' view - and no I've not got my 'uns' & 'nots' where they shouldn't be... but hey we're all parents and I'm obviously in the absolute minority of parents who feel it isn't right to leave children (inc babies) in cars on their own whilst nipping to the shops. I lost my daughter in Mothercare once - I honestly thought she had gone through their electronic self-sliding doors but she had simply gone up a different aisle in the shop to me but for that split second my heart fell to my feet. It puzzles me how some parents feel able to do their shopping knowing their children (inc babies) are sat in the car, on their own, in a busy car park, on a busy street etc etc - its beyond me.

Everyone has an opinion and obviously mine is a load of rubbish because all its done has caused loads of backlash from some MN's. Sorry if I've offended anyone etc etc.

Would it irritate me if someone came on MN and called me irresponsible for taking a risk? Err nope! I'm a Mother who can make her own decisions and if I make the wrong decision I'll take the flack for it! Life is too damn short to not take risks but there is a fine line between those that are safe and those that aren't.... OK?

My mother was looking after my two eldest the other day and went into Sainsbury's leaving my 5 year old in the car!! I only found out because she panicked when he fiddled around with the controls and set the car alarm off. What was she thinking??

barney I don't think you are in a minority. I think most people agree with you, that three year olds should not be left in cars while their parents go shopping.

barney, you write:

"I'm obviously in the absolute minority of parents who feel it isn't right to leave children (inc babies) in cars on their own whilst nipping to the shops"

I think you have misread the thread a little. All but 1 or 2 posters have indicated that leaving children in the car whilst out of sight in a supermarket etc is unnacceptable. There has been a tangential discussion about Petrol Station forecourts where you are, admittedly, in a minority. However, don't let that bother you - do what you think is right.

I don't think you have had loads of backlash or caused offence - as you think you have. There has been discussion and disagreement on this thread - but precious little abuse and rudeness (which can blight Mumsnet at times)...but I am sorry if you feel a bit bruised by the debate.

Also genuinely very sorry to hear about the loss of your father in such truly awful circumstances. He was obviously much loved by you, and you still understandably feel very bruised - I would like to offer you a hug for what it is worth....

Thank you handlemecarefully....to lose a parent in such dreadful circumstances has been very hard to deal with. The lad who hit Dad drove off and left him. He was later arrested and denied all responsibility. This same lad lives just a few doors from my Mum which makes life even harder. My Dad was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I miss him so much. Thank you for the hug - very gratefully received.xx