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Parenting

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Original poster

Would you leave her in hotel room while you were downstairs?

197 replies

llynnnn · 29/05/2007 17:29

I know this is a very touchy (with very good reason) subject at the moment and dont want to start a big fight but just after honest opinions, would you leave a 12month old fast asleep in a hotel room, with a sensitive baby monitor on, while you were at a wedding party downstairs?
Its my sisters wedding in August at a very nice hotel, where most of the hotel will be taken by other guests (our friends and family) and my parents think it will be fine but I'm a bit worried in light of everything that has happened recently
Thanks for your opinions
Lynn

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Sobernow · 30/05/2007 00:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eidsvold · 30/05/2007 01:48

no and would have never done it even pre maddie situation.

My SIL would not do it either - they paid for our whole family to stay in the hotel for the night - dh, me and the girls. THey ahd the adjoining room. Dh stayed with my two and I stayed with nieces. The whole hotel was taken up with SIL's relies and they room was about 50 yards away with clear view to the room for them and still SIL did not feel comfortable leaving them alone. They were 3 and 1 and sound sleepers but still... not worth the risk as far as she was concerned.

Gobbledigook · 30/05/2007 08:45

Whoever the poster was that said her 6 month old dd had not woken up once since the age of 2 months so is not likely to - you are wrong! Their sleep patterns change all the time - in fact, it's quite common for babies who have slept through for ages to suddenly start waking again between 6 and 12 months old.

IME anyway and that's happened with all 3 of mine.

Just to let you know - just cos she's sleeping through now at the age of 4 or 5 months doesn't mean that's it, guaranteed, from now on!

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SingingBear · 30/05/2007 09:17

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nogoes · 30/05/2007 09:21

No, I never would. I would either let her sleep in the buggy or take turns staying in the room. Or alternatively pay for IL's to stay in the hotel and they can mind her.

expatinscotland · 30/05/2007 09:22

My kitchen went on fire a couple of months ago. Whilst we were at home in the living room.

It went fast, folks. Hard to believe the amount of damage in just literally 3 minutes.

I wouldn't leave my kids alone in the flat before that, I deffo wouldn't now.

Anyone who says, 'Oh, it won't happen' is delusional.

bohemianbint · 30/05/2007 09:24

Nope. I was left in hotel rooms (and other places) alone and remember being very traumatised when I realised no one was there or came when I cried.

chipkid · 30/05/2007 09:34

Most hotels that I have stayed in have babysitting services. They are not cheap but at least you know that your baby is being watched.

Heathcliffscathy · 30/05/2007 09:41

"NFK - and bugger what's best for dc? [hmmm] hasn't anybody learnt? that's what the MCCann's did - did what was best for their holiday and their enjoyment (so but true) and who benefitted certainly not their daughter WHO IS STILL MISSING"

mylittleimps, the mccanns daughter is missing because she has been abducted by someone determined to do that. your repeated insistance that it is their fault beggars belief. i hope you are never in a position to be judged in this way.

Quattrocento · 30/05/2007 09:44

Yes BUT only if

(i) 12 mo is in a cot and cannot escape

(ii) You are close by in case of fire

(iii) You really are going to have the BM on and it is not going to be drowned by loud music

Applaud the sensitivity in the OP btw

prettybird · 30/05/2007 09:47

I have done it in the past with ds (when he was c. 9 months old) and would do so again. He was a very good sleeper, so we had no qualms.

indiasmum · 30/05/2007 09:50

i have done it twice both at dhs insistence. once was at a wedding and the rooms were in a different block quite some way away from the wedding party. it makes me feel sick to my stomach now looking back on it. anything could have happened to her while we were too busy getting drunk and dancing the night away. i felt uneasy about it at the time but other people were doing it too and i felt pressurised. i would never ever do it again.

Phraedd · 30/05/2007 10:11

why noy just get a babysitter that lives close to the hotel? If you start looking for one now, you will have plenty of time to interview and check refs.

Look here .........there are always nannies there that are willing to cover a wedding etc in a hotel.

Original poster

llynnnn · 30/05/2007 10:21

Wow! so many replies. Thank you all for your comments, most of you have said what I was thinking deep down, but just thought I was being overly cautious! I am defo not going to leave her now! Theres just far too many risks!
I dont think she would settle in her pram (she's far too nosey!!) I'm going to have to be strong and tell my parents she is staying with mil for the night! (if you listen closely i'm sure you'll beable to hear that debate all over the country!!)
Thanks again x

OP posts:

Eleusis · 30/05/2007 11:58

I wouldn't do it either. Pre-Madeleine I might have been persuaded to do it even though I would have been nervous about it. Post Madeleine, not over my dead body. I'd sooner miss the wedding.

MrsBoo · 30/05/2007 12:11

No way. I have used both solutions mentioned earlier. Took MIL and FIL with us, and they got got an early meal in restaurant, and then me and DH went later.
Another time, when DD was only about 6mths, and DS was 4; the hotel arranged a babysitter for me. Lovely older lady (mum of one of the staff members). I was able to enjoy the function downstairs - but most of the other people there who had brought children/babies, were just using monitors etc. Each to their own, I wouldn't be able to do it.

nannynick · 30/05/2007 12:25

What any parent wants I feel is Peace of Mind when their child is sleeping. Baby Monitors are common place these days - yet back when I was little, I don't think baby monitors were around (anyone know if they existed in the 70's?). Even with a baby monitor, in a party situation, would you be able to hear it... would it work over the distance (party room may be some way from your hotel room), and would you be able to respond to it quickly.

You always have added Peace of Mind when in your own home... but when you are somewhere new, you will be on your guard. Therefore to enjoy the wedding party, you will want to have the added Peace of Mind having a babysitter gives you.

As you may be using a babysitter who is unknown to you, and as you are closeby, then you may wish to pop back to your hotel room to check everything is going well. Having a babysitter will give you the added peace of mind, only if you fully trust that babysitter, so spend time finding someone suitable, ideally get them to meet your child before bedtime, so that if your child wakes, they don't find a complete stranger attending to their needs.

I can see that your parents may think it is fine to leave your baby in a locked hotel room, it is a different situation to leaving children in an unlocked room/apartment. But there are risks and if you can minimise those risks, then do so. While it may cost quite a bit to have a babysitter at a hotel, the price is worth paying for the Peace of Mind.

roisin · 30/05/2007 12:34

No, I wouldn't.

When dss were 4 and 6 we were in the top floor (8th I think) of a large London hotel. The boys and I were all in bed asleep (it was about 11pm), and dh was out somewhere having a drink.

The fire alarm went off. It was an unholy racket: extremely mind-bending to listen to - almost painful. The boys and I woke up. I was confused, disoriented, and quite frankly slightly scared; never mind the boys. I hussled us all quickly into coats and shoes, and we left the room. The lifts were closed, and we weren't even sure which way to head for the fire exit.

It is actually still a vivid and unpleasant memory for me, let alone the kids. If they had been on their own they would have been terrified and traumatised.

(It turned out it was just a false alarm btw.)

Kewcumber · 30/05/2007 12:46

I would (and have) for a big family birthday dinner not a wedding. Monitor was obviously working and I also went up to check once or twice. If he cried, I could have gone to comfort him in not much more time than at home.

DS has never been sick in his sleep before so didn't see why it would happen that night and in any case would be no different to being at home. I didn't leave any matches in the travel cot for him to play with either (just to be on the safe side).

I was slightly nervous about it but it was fine.

Kewcumber · 30/05/2007 12:47

this was small family hotel btw not huge block

Kewcumber · 30/05/2007 12:48

interstingly another family hired a sitter (via the hotel) and she completely ignored the fact that the baby (they had 8 month old and a toddler) had a ragng temperature and had to be rushed to A&E when parents got back to the room!

MadamePlatypus · 30/05/2007 12:56

I would go with cornsilk's idea. Knowing my friends and family I would probably have to ask them to form an orderly queue to get the free chance of a bona fide excuse to get a bit of peace and quiet.

bosscat · 30/05/2007 13:01

No, I wouldn't. Its a really personal choice though and I'm sure if you decided too your dc would be fine. I would not relax though and would either keep them with me or not take them for the evening ie. leave with sitter.

kslatts · 30/05/2007 13:16

I wouldn't, we went to a wedding in a hotel when dd was about 10 months old. We put her in her buggy to sleep and kept her with us.

Anna8888 · 30/05/2007 14:50

No, no and no. Wouldn't have done it before the Madeleine McCann kidnapping either.

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