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Original poster

Why do poeple get dissappointed about having another boy??

190 replies

LadyTophamHatt · 15/05/2007 11:14

Yes, I know I was upset about ds4 not being a girl but I found out so I could get it straight in my head. I knew I wouldn't feel sad for long and I didn't but it really comes up such a lot on here.
I don't think I have ever seen a thread when someone is dissappointed with the sex and its a girl.
Ever, not in over 4 years as a MNer.

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piscesgirl · 17/05/2007 14:26

Lady Topham Hat I just read your last message and has made me feel sad as it reminded me of the experiences i had when ds3 was born. I have 3 ds & the last 2 were born really close together. So ds1 is 10, ds2 is 2&1/2 and ds3 is 1. I really felt the pressure from everyone willing me to have a girl when ds3 was due and when I gave birth and was told "boy" I felt my heart sink (am so ashamed to say that now coz would not have it any other way!). So like you, me and the dp have made a mistake and am pregnant again. I just know everyone is gonna think I am doing this for a girl. And am now dreading telling people coz it made me feel so sad towards ds3 - like no-one really cared that he was a boy. Silly isnt it. After reading your last post I am thinking now maybe not to find out what the sex is. Do you think that waiting is the best thing to do???

just read this whole thread

NuttyMuffins · 17/05/2007 14:29

Don't know the answer tbh.

I had 2 dd's and then a ds, but would honestly have been just as happy having another Dd, but maybe that is cos I was quite scared of having a boy LOL.

Original poster
LadyTophamHatt · 17/05/2007 17:19

piscesgirl, ALOT of people had a "oh never mind" reaction when we told them we we're having another boy. Even my mum said "oh..oh well"
I would have hated to have that reaction when he was born, a gorgeous little bundle in my arms.
I felt abit sad at tthe little girl I'd never have...about plaits i'd never get do, about tiny toenails I'd never get to paint..all that sort of stuff. It wasn't that I didn't want another boy, not at all. I just felt sad at what I'd never get to do with my own daughter.

Anyway, because I felt abit sad I handled everyone elses disappointment better because I was feeling a similar emotion, not disappointment though...just sad. I didn't feel it for long but I felt it all the same.

So when he finally made his (horrendous) entrance into the world we were all ready and waiting for a gorgeous, beautiful, wonderful...just lovely bundle of baby boy.

I didn't count on him being this bloody gorgeous though

So if I was you I;d definatley find out.

(photos on my profile if you want to admire him)

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cornsilk · 17/05/2007 17:23

When I had ds 2 the nurse said 'Never mind, a girl's a bonus but a boy's nice too.' Silly cow.I was quite happy. I still wish I'd complained!

barbamama · 17/05/2007 22:15

Personally I think find out asap and then you can just announce it and say how happy you are and not give anyone the chance to put words into your mouth about how disappointed, never mind etc etc. I found out at 12 weeks this pg that was having ds2 (my slight preference) so I just told people I was pg with ds1's little brother and we were really pleased it was a boy (true) - people I told I was pg before I knew, I told them in the same breath that I had a slight preference for another boy but a girl would be good too for the difference so we couldn't lose really. Don't let people assign their own silly feelings onto you I say. It all works out in the end I am sure - I don't know anyone who is still disappointed about gender after the baby's been with them for a while.

eachpeachnallyplum · 17/05/2007 22:19

i would loove another boy, but we are not having any more dc sadly

1dilemma · 17/05/2007 22:46

What a cute baby you have LTH

SpringBunny · 17/05/2007 22:50

I desperately wanted a boy first time round, went as far as checking ovulation times etc to try and 'make sure' but of course got it wrong and got dd. Did not beleive them at the first scan, I so wanted a boy but after the third scan began to beleive it

Of course, she is gorgeous and would not have her any other way.

Now i also have my ds who was a complete accident but strangely i knew the moment he as conceived that I was pg and that he was a boy so i just accpeted destiny and love them both.

Dd is a tomboy anyway (but does insist on wearing pink trousers lol) and ds is a fairly gentle soul so I definitely have the best of all worlds

Wintersun · 17/05/2007 22:51

Mothers want a girl for that 'special' relationship. If you have a daughter, you'll (generally) be more close to her and be more involved in your grand children's lives.
With a son, you'll always be the MIL and perhaps not as involved with their family.
I know each and every family is different but I do think it tends to happen this way.

barbamama · 17/05/2007 23:09

I think that is stereotypical cliche personally.

ripax · 17/05/2007 23:17

i was glad i wasn;t going to live in a family with two girls. Nightmare.

3andnomore · 18/05/2007 07:46

Aww LadyTophamHatt....indeed that lil one is adorable
Lol, mine aren't to bad neither, even if I say so myself, lol!

mm22bys · 18/05/2007 14:19

I've got two DSs, and even though DS2 is only a few months old, people are already asking me when I am going to try for "my" girl.

It annoys me no end.

So far two boys are great.

A friend with two boys told me they weren't going to try for another dc because she said she would rather have two boys than three :-(.

I only have one sister, and apparently after my sister was born my dad was asked when they were going to try for "his" boy, so it does go both ways :-).

Have to admit though, when friends who already have a ds announce they're having a dd I am a bit envious.....

thegardener · 18/05/2007 20:52

In the early stages of pregnancy i wanted a girl but after that i really didn't mind as long as my baby was healthy and i had a beautiful boy.

When i have another baby i think either would be fine, if i was clever i might have one of each but would be totally happy if i had another lovely boy.

Original poster
LadyTophamHatt · 19/05/2007 09:13

i was talking to a another mum at Ds2 swimming lesson yesterday and went we got around to tlaking about our kids she said "Ohh you poor thing...I've got 2 boys, thats bad enough...but 4??"

FFS.

And to make matters worse I humoured her with some "Ohh yeah I know" comment when inside my head I was saying "FFS what is wrong with HAVING BOYS???"

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Original poster
LadyTophamHatt · 19/05/2007 09:14

mm22bys, she said that too, about not wanting to having any more incase she had a 3rd boy.

some bloody people!!

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walkawayrenee · 19/05/2007 09:27

say leave one of your boys behind then if its that much of a bother to you. Honestly the rudeness of some people!!

thirtysomething · 19/05/2007 09:33

boys are precious and gorgeous and girls are too! That's it really...what really amazed me though was my mum and my MIL's attitudes - they are chalk and cheese but the one thing they've ever agreed on is that it was only right and proper that I should have a boy first (which I did) and then that I was extremely clever (yeah right, ti was really me who fixed it!) to then have a girl!

piscesgirl · 30/06/2007 11:30

LTopH - Just to say I have finally got to see your pics and they are great - how cute is your baby! My DS2 was admiring your cute baby (biby as he calls them) too!. False alarm for me so no more babies at present!

Peachy · 30/06/2007 11:52

I love my boys and I wouldn't change their gender for the world! I also had a scan to find out what sex ds3 was but actually I think all boy famillies are fab, I'd be happy enough just to have another- gender irrlevant

Peachy · 30/06/2007 11:55

'Mothers want a girl for that 'special' relationship. If you have a daughter, you'll (generally) be more close to her and be more involved in your grand children's lives.
With a son, you'll always be the MIL '

Nah, ds1 is going to be gay.

Who says your boys will get married? Or have kids? What a silly generalisation!

CorrieDale · 30/06/2007 12:04

I always wanted a girl until I had 3 mcs, and then I wasn't bothered as long as I eventually had a baby. I knew somehow that DS was a boy, and also 'knew' that this bump is a girl. Until the consultant made a slip of the tongue at my 36 week scan (and then tried to cover it up, which really drew attention to it!) I thought I would have felt disappointed, but I didn't, although I wouldn't feel disappointed now either if bump turns out to be a girl. I think when you're this close to the arrival, gender becomes pretty unimportant - what you want is a healthy happy baby.

pagwatch · 30/06/2007 13:50

I had two boys, found out I was preg with what would be DEFINATELY our last baby and just SSOOOO wanted another boy. I spent whole pregnancy listening to "ah perhaps you will be lucky and it will be a girl this time" - including from my mum. I had a girl - who is fab and post shock I am very happy but now have to listen to people saying "ah well now you have had a girl that is probably your last one isn't it"

RedLorryYellowLorry · 30/06/2007 14:10

I really went off a mother at ds's nursery for making a comment about boys. She had recently had her 2nd dd and couldn't understand one of the other mothers saying she would like a ds next (this woman was 8 mths pregnant). She turned to me and said "she wants a BOY next" with a shocked look. My ds was running wild on the grass at the time. I felt a sudden protective urge and said to the other mother, totally ignoring daft mum, "boys are lovely, they really are". Pregant mum had a boy - hurray!

sparklesandwine · 30/06/2007 14:21

sorry but i haven't read the whole thread but i'm always saddened to hear that people are 'disapointed' with the sex of their children - children are children no matter what sex they are and you should be greatful for them

i always just wanted children i've never been hung up about what sex they are (i have 3 boys and 1 girl) and wouldn't have cared if they'd been all girls or all boys i just wanted children and feel very lucky to have them