"How to talk so kdis will listenand listen so kids will talk" - anyone want to go trhough this book?

[Porcupine]

and see hwat we think of it?

Its wuite heavy reading( not intellectually) just very close set type and lots of americna egs
But i reckon we cna do it.

lol at first line" i was a wonderful parent before i had kids"

Can't actually go through it yet as have only just this sec brought it off ebay, but will sit quietly in the corner and listen

ok fisrt idea

accept your kids feelings
( snowy day) kid - Im hot
parent " you arent hot its freezeing"

ie parent deying kdis feeling

It's an excellent book. After much sniggering about it, even DH had to admit it was pretty good after reading "the important bits", as he put it.

So instead do you just rip all their clothes off and chuck them in a snow drift?

Hmm ok, have no prob with that bit, do usually accept most of what they say anyway.

so the summary is

1. listen with full attention ". acknowledge feelign wihta word " ooh" or " i see"

1. giev theri feeligns a name" so you are feeling a bit toasty?"

1. give them their wishes in fantasy " maybe we shoudl ask the wather to get even colder!"!"

sounds sensible

what next?

Re: denying kid's feelings, once I read it there I realised I did it quite often, e.g. "I'm scared/bored/angry" would get a reply of "oh no you're not" and reasons why he c/wouldn't be. Now I tend to go along with "yes, I can see you're bored, I'd be too" etc.

See those bits, 'giving their feeling a name' and 'give them their wishes in a fantasy', are bits I wouldn't normally do, kids would think I was nuts LOL.

Will try though

bad parent eg here

kid "someone stile my pencil"
parent" are you sure oyu didnt lose it?"

kid " i didnt it was on my desk when i went to the loo"

parent " wel you always leave your things lying around i always tell you PUt it away and oyu never listen to me

kid" oh leave me alone"

parent ( loev this americanism) " dont eb fresh"

OMG that example was me

without the fresh bit lol.

'give their feelings a name'
bleurgh!

why can't you just listen to them and then tell them to do as they're told?

are you gonna read the whole book right now? think ill go grab my copy...
(have loads of these books but never time to read em)

int he red pencil good parent eg the parent simply slutesn saying ahaa, mm oh i see
til the kid works out that they wil ahevto hide their pencil whne they go for a piss

lol
and baggy baggot move along we are tyring to be HELPFUL

eh?

The problem I have is that the kid would not understand a word the Porcupine parent was saying...

Right ok, can do that.

the poarent listens to the kdi ranting abotu the farking pencil making nice noises
( i htink int he pic she is reading heat)

ok one more eg

what pencil?
nice noises??