"How to talk so kdis will listenand listen so kids will talk" - anyone want to go trhough this book?

[Porcupine]

and see hwat we think of it?

Its wuite heavy reading( not intellectually) just very close set type and lots of americna egs
But i reckon we cna do it.

im not that shocked.
my education didnt include:
times tables
grammar
or mental arithmetic

coz theyre old fashioned

I couldn't read it
it was just so dull and heavy-going
i felt guilty, but gave up

Mercy - 'How to talk...' is worth a read but you have to re-phrase everything if you're not American
have to go but will be bck with info on Toxic Chldhod or you culd just look for the thread i started on it recently...

oh mercy boo
its so good

no toxic choldhood jsut oudsn liek one bog built trip
not lie how to which alt least give soem ideas

guilt trip

doesn't anyone here trust themselves to do a good job?

Mercy it's a great book.

I have just dug it out again as I have completly lost my knack of dealing with ds and have been using the techniques today v successfully - no screaming banshee bedtime for the first time in 5 (count 'em) days.

Example
ds : here's a party invitation from Annoying Friend

me: oh lovely. Oh ds, it's the same weekend as (massive long-arranged camping thing with loads of people). What a shame

ds: oh I have to go to annoying friends party! I don't want to go camping thing. I hate camping...blah blah

me: You must be so disappointed

dsstarting to get v cross) I hate camping I must go to annoying friends party yada yada yada

me: Darling I can see you are really upset about this

Ds: I am NOT upset I am really really cross yada yada look I can see that woman's bottom she has come out of the loo with her skirt tucked in it....

puddle
top marks
well done

toxic childhood??? based on the title alone, i am not interested. does it just list all the ways you xcan fuck them up? coz frankly, that i do trust myself to do wiuthout any help...

yes nadine, i do trust myself. to do a good job by reading stuff like this and trying to do a better job than i would otherwise.
personally, i am not preprogramed to be a perfect mother. i have to work at it

actually there is one often missed plus point to book

the techniques are quite useful if you want to pretend to care but don't really. you can be singing away in your head, on an "ahh, I see" loop.

oh no ng far more to book than THAT

its all about how you mustn't let them watch ANY tv or...do lots of things...

actually haven't read the book but did speak once to someone who nearly did

I bought this book when someone on MN recommended it about 6 months ago. When it arrived I flicked through it and decided I didn't fancy reading it as I thought it looked rubbish. Perhaps I need to give it a second try.

I'm getting ready to use these stratagies in school today

'I don't want to do that work'
'Ahhh, You must be feeling really lazy today'

' I haven't done my homework'
'wouldn't it be great if all your homework just magically did itself......like that time you just dowloaded it from an internet site'

REally good plan!

ahem
i do feel this htread is turning a little scathing (!) for those who really wanted to change the ways they talk ot their kids.

am only trying ot help!

Can you see a tongue anywhere near my cheek????

Hmm it had better stay there mate

At what age do children pick up on sarcasm? I tried some of this on dh last night when he was telling me about some terrible meeting and after agreeing with him all along and saying "that must have been awful" (and nodding my head like one of those dogs you get in the back of cars)he asked me if I was being sarcastic. Ooops.

MB - very much looking forward to hearing all about your day at school.

nonono cod, its very very helpful

i needed a laugh this morning...

DS1 has been understanding sarcasm from at least the age of five.

Helpfully, he defines it as 'talking like daddy' .

I do have to get this book, but I also fear DH would do as kp's DH has ... at least I have 'don't be fresh' as a retort.

lol
ok have used laready
ds2s bederrom
me
ds2 come adn put oyr pjs away make oyur bed nad hang up your dressing gown"
ignroed three itmes

" i can see clothes all oevr the florr"
result

Message withdrawn

Just PMSL at this, Cod thank you for starting this thread!

I will be back tonight for chapter two!

I find that statement of facts ("clothes on the floor") better - at least for me - than constant nagging (can nagging be anything but contsant?!).

My book is a few years old but I didn't find the graphics or typeset ugly or difficult to read. You should try Engelmann's "Teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons" for that. (Another book with massive potential for irritation but v good.)