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Original poster

My child isn’t invited to wedding

110 replies

Megan1357 · 06/01/2018 22:36

Hi, after some advice my friend is getting married in a few weeks I am party of the wedding party. My child will be 2 years old but he’s not invited to the wedding.i originally didn’t give it much thought but now it’s bothering me. She is his godmother and whilst I understand no children will be there other than family I don’t like that my child isn’t invited and we are expected to leave him. How would you mumsnetters feel?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

SavoyCabbage · 06/01/2018 22:39

I was a bridesmaid a couple of weeks after I had my baby and I went to the wedding and dh didn’t and he looked after dd.

hollygolipo · 06/01/2018 22:39

Their wedding, their call...

wombatron · 06/01/2018 22:42

I love all my friends kids and am ‘auntie’ to all of them. But they are not invited to my wedding. Why? Because I don’t want children there. It’s quite simple and not complicated, but I just want it to be an adults only day. Your children are precious to you, not to her, and if you are unhappy with the situation then perhaps decline the invite. I mean that as kindly as possible but she’s under no obligation to invite them. I have invited (to my small wedding) our closest family friends. Half of those people have children. None of those children are invited, but I’d understand if one of the party or both declined because that upsets them.

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Bridechilla · 06/01/2018 22:42

whilst I understand no children will be there other than family I don’t like that my child isn’t invited

You do not understand OP...

DioneTheDiabolist · 06/01/2018 22:42

I would feel fine about it.

restingbemusedface · 06/01/2018 22:42

Lots of weddings are child free and I can see why, especially toddlers (I say this as a mother of 2 toddlers and also as someone organising a wedding)

I don’t think you should take it as a personal insult, having children at a wedding makes it a completely different type of event. Plus it means their friends with kids will be distracted the whole time.

AuntieStella · 06/01/2018 22:43

I would feel that I was rather silly not to have thought it through before RSVPing, have a bracing friend tell me to get a grip and remind me of all the reasons why I accepted in the first place, get back into the mood and have a lovely time.

Bubblysqueak · 06/01/2018 22:43

I wouldn't take a 2 yr old to a wedding anyway, especially if you are part of the wedding party, there is lots of waiting around at weddings and a 2 yr old would need entertaining which you wouldn't be able to do while part of a wedding party.

Bellamuerte · 06/01/2018 22:43

I specifically didn't invite any children to my wedding because I didn't want them making a noise and running around annoying people. It was an adult party at night which involved alcohol, a lot of people were drunk and therefore it wasn't an appropriate place for a child. It's ridiculous if parents can't hire a babysitter and enjoy one day out without their kids! I certainly wouldn't expect my own children to be invited to someone's wedding, and actually I would probably enjoy a night out without them!

Twalva · 06/01/2018 22:45

Couldn’t care less and wouldn’t expect a child to be invited

EsmeeMerlin · 06/01/2018 22:45

I would be fine with it. Since you are party of the bridal party, surely it's better for you not to have to worry about watching your 2 year old.

I love attending child free weddings myself, and enjoying it all with my son happy with a babysitter.

Casmama · 06/01/2018 22:45

I had no children at my wedding but if I’ve understood this correctly and children of family members are invited then I’m surprised the invitation hasn’t been extended to her godson.
Having said that - I went to two weddings when my son was two- one with and one without and the one without won hands down so I wouldn’t make a fuss if I were you.

PatriciaHolm · 06/01/2018 22:46

I would enjoy a child free night out!

strangerhoes · 06/01/2018 22:46

Don’t go then

Loveache · 06/01/2018 22:47

Small children at weddings are an absolute pain to everyone except their parents and sometimes even them.
Their wedding, their say.

Scrumptiousbears · 06/01/2018 22:48

I'd love the opportunity to have a night out if I could get a trusted sitter.

leftwiththedognow · 06/01/2018 22:49

She is a Godparent? All the more reason why she doesnt want your dc there. Its her day, she doesnt want it to be taken up with her gm duties of being the fun lady and you shouldnt expect her to play faves. Shes absolutely right to exclude all.

BewareOfDragons · 06/01/2018 22:50

You're kidding, right?

Your friend is having a child-free wedding, as is her right. Lots of people have child-free weddings.

You can either go to the wedding and have a lovely time, or decline to attend politely. And please do be polite if you decline. Your friend hasn't wronged you.

CointreauVersial · 06/01/2018 22:50

Errrr....if you were invited to a party, or a dinner in a wine bar, would you "expect" your baby to be invited, and have trouble leaving them? It's clearly an adult occasion, and your friend has chosen to keep it child-free. Her choice.

Why not find a babysitter, or family member who will look after your DC and go and have a fabulous time with your friend? Or stay at home and miss out. Your choice.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 06/01/2018 22:51

They don't want your two year old at their wedding. It really doesn't matter than this bothers you...

Only1scoop · 06/01/2018 22:52

Wouldn't bother me at all

I love a child free wedding

treaclesoda · 06/01/2018 22:52

I would feel fine about it. All the weddings I've ever been to have been child free (with the exception of very very close relatives). I'd be really surprised to see children at a wedding.

stiffstink · 06/01/2018 22:52

I take it you are a bridesmaid? Why have you only now become disappointed in him not being invited? What changed?

How do you propose to handle your 2 year old during the ceremony? Will it be easier with him or without him?

Is your 2 year old personally insulted by having not been invited? Does he give a shit?

Think about why you are annoyed and whether you are being PFB about it. Yes he's probably cute and would look great in a little waistcoat but do everyone a favour and unclench.

LML83 · 06/01/2018 22:52

I wouldn't bring my 2 year old to a friend wedding if invited as it's not fun for them and it's nice to celebrate without childcare duties. Especially if I was bridesmaid.

Family weddings where the aunties are desperate to see the kids and there are cousins to play with are different.

It's their wedding and not unreasonable. If your kid comes you can bet there is another close friend who would say
'if it's only family kids, why is the bridesmaids child is here.'

egginacup · 06/01/2018 22:54

God, I love being invited to a child-free wedding. Guilt-free excuse to leave the kids behind for the day, get dressed up and have a giggle with friends. Now that they’re older they would probably be ok, but I took my DC to several weddings when they were toddlers and invariably ended up chasing after them and barely speaking to anyone, then having to take them to bed just as the fun was starting!

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