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Original poster

My child isn’t invited to wedding

110 replies

Megan1357 · 06/01/2018 22:36

Hi, after some advice my friend is getting married in a few weeks I am party of the wedding party. My child will be 2 years old but he’s not invited to the wedding.i originally didn’t give it much thought but now it’s bothering me. She is his godmother and whilst I understand no children will be there other than family I don’t like that my child isn’t invited and we are expected to leave him. How would you mumsnetters feel?

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MrsRonBurgundy · 07/01/2018 14:14

I hate drinking around children and for that reason, had a child free wedding. Nobody turned down the invitation and most couples with kids told us they were excited to let their hair down without the kids - and they certainly did that on the night!

mindutopia · 08/01/2018 11:44

Her wedding, her choice. But it's something I would always check before you agree to be in the wedding party or attend if it's a deal breaker for you. We have had plenty of weddings that have been child-free. It just means only one of us can attend (or in rare instances, we have my family come and stay with us to have our dd overnight). We've even had a few weddings abroad that were child-free. How people expect you to find childcare for multiple days so you can jet overseas, I don't quite know. But their wedding, their money, their choice. They just can't be upset if you can't attend as a result. I think as you're in the wedding party, you're committed now and you need to go, but your partner may just need to stay at home unless you have other options for childcare or you may need to cut out early.

ZanyMobster · 09/01/2018 18:14

I think it's fine, your child will have a lovely time with his Auntie no doubt and you can relax at the wedding, getting ready etc, 2 yos are a pain at weddings and IMO they are young enough to be left with family. If you had a problem you should have said before. As others have said the bride/groom couldn't be upset if you said no to leaving DC for 3 days at the start but you have sorted childcare so everything is ok so I would imagine they'd be very upset now if you did.

Go and enjoy it, your DC will be fine and you will have fun I'm sure.

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Violletta · 09/01/2018 18:45

so go for one day not 3 then

MummyWhoBakes · 05/03/2018 21:53

I completely understand and am in a similar situation where our little ones godmother is getting married & it’s adults only.
It’s their choice though, we only invited family children to our wedding, I think it just all changed in your head once you’re a mummy. You don’t want the most important thing in your life to be excluded from anything.
As the others have said, enjoy the day just being you & have a little time to switch off from mummy mode. I’m sure your little one will have lots of fun with whomever gets to spend time with him that day.

Singlemummy27 · 20/03/2018 13:14

I am having the same problem, I will be maid of honour, the original plan was my daughter to be seated with my patenter yet after I broke up from my partner she informed me of no children will be attending, as they are a distraction yet today I found out other children are going and not their god daughter (my daughter) they made a huge thing about being her god parents to the point I had to make them god parents to shut them up !
I feel very offended as to them singling out my child because I am a single parent and when asked it was because now I am no longer with my partner she can’t come yet I automatically thought my mother would have take his place. Because of this I will not be attending the wedding. They never bother with her or me, personally I think she is on some power trip and tbh it’s turning nasty and I feel singled out because I had a child out of wedlock . They bring this up daily and tbh my child is my left arm so sorry if you can’t invite my child yet others I won’t be attending.

bellsbuss · 20/03/2018 13:18

I don't take my children when they are invited 🙈 I love a child free wedding , so much more relaxing

Elpheba · 20/03/2018 13:27

My step-SiL didn't invite my toddler DD to her wedding (even though the groom had nieces as flower girls who were only a little bit older) but as much as it annoyed me, we did have a much more enjoyable time being able to relax and not run around after her and keep her safe near open water/quiet during relevant moments etc.
We have been fortunate enough that all our friends have invited DD to weddings but we still have never chosen to take her to one and leave her with my DM because toddlers are just such hard work at most weddings and it's a time for us to enjoy ourselves and relax and chat to friends.
I often feel a bit sorry for whichever parent I see pacing around outside a marquee trying to settle or distract a toddler that just doesn't want to be there. Maybe try to see it as your friend offering you a fun night out without DD in tow?

BitOutOfPractice · 20/03/2018 13:37

I'd think "woo hoo! Party!!"

Scorpiovenus · 15/08/2019 15:47

No kids are coming to mine. SK included. :D

They are not in our lives so would be a bit redundant tbh

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