My husband drew on my baby!

[FEJ2016]

I need some perspective from someone who isn’t me- I’ve just gone to change my 5 week old daughter and my husband has drawn in black sharpie marker pen on her stomach (he has drawn a big sun around her belly button). I am incredibly upset with him. I can’t believe he would draw on our child honestly I’m dumbfounded. It looks hideous. And how am I now supposed to take her to clinic to get weighed? It looks terrible. When I have challenged him (woke him up- it’s 3am and I was changing her before her feed) he just said ‘why is there a pen there’ and ‘I was just a bit drunk don’t overreact’.
I didn’t know he was drunk or I wouldn’t have let him anywhere near our child for a start, but seriously, am I overreacting? I think it’s the most irresponsible thing I’ve ever seen I actually feel sick.

Also I wouldn't worry about the HV although I get the embarrassment. A sun on her tummy is quite cute but a bit misjudged to put it mildly.

I'm about as laid back as it comes with most things but this is absolutely disgusting. A 5 week old baby.
No people aren't overreacting. And I do have a lot of shit to do deal with on a regular basis so I've not led a sheltered life but no wonder you feel sick op

This would make me furious. The baby is tiny, it's not funny, there's chemicals in the sharpie. It could irritate her skin and it's not even like she's an older baby/ toddler who loves drawing and colour and was delighted with daddy drawing something cool on her.

Pretty sure there's safe crayons for drawing on skin.

Being so drunk he thought it was a hilarious thing to do? Fuck that altogether. The baby isn't there for his entertainment.

I don't get what's funny about it? I'd be really pissed off if DH did that to our baby and I would genuinely find it hard to get over. I cannot understand why anyone would do it?

Thank you so much everyone for all your responses. I really didn’t know how to get my point across to him so I showed him this thread when he woke up and he is mortified. He loves his daughter a lot and he is generally a good husband. I really think thanks to you lot he sees what he has done and he has apologised to both me but more importantly her. He promises to be much more thoughtful in future.

Oh come on! It's a bit funny

Draw a spunking cock on his face whilst he's asleep as revenge!

It's not even a little bit funny and how old are you, twelve?

The baby could have had a reaction to the ink,their skins are so delicate at that age. What on earth was he thinking?

Poor you OP. I'd be very shaken.

Here's an idea: get him to call the HV, tell them what he did and ask for suggestions for removing it. Don't shield him. Let him deal with the consequences 100%.

for you.

@FEJ2016 good move he SHOULD be mortified.
I still think you should make him explain to the HV.

It's odd And comparing it to a toddler sibling drawing on her is also odd, and silly.

I'm not hysterical or over-anxious, but I would be hopping mad. Really surprised by some of the comments, and yes, I'm judging anyone who thinks that this is funny/normal behaviour. He took the piss out of a 5 week old baby who didn't get the joke....

Funnily enough his mum is a health visitor, so my next move is to make him explain to her!

He drew a sun in a baby's tummy. Stupid to use a sharpie yes but I really don't get the fuss otherwise. if he'd drawn something rude I'd get the anger but really it's just a bit silly. Nothing more. Maybe buy him some face paints or temp tattoos for the next time he wants to get creative?

And dame I wouldn't really draw a spunkkng cock on him. I was joking!!

He sounds like a moron. I wouldn't be able to trust him with baby again for a while.

being drunk around a baby is a real concern...

He should be mortified. What in the actual fuck was he thinking? Being drunk is no excuse, and frankly makes it much worse. An intoxicated, moronic halfwit shouldn't be anywhere near a 5 week old baby.

Wtf, that is the most random thing. Why on earth would you draw on a baby in sharpie?? He should be mortified, there’s just no logical justification for it. Drunk or not.

Sounds like he is treating the baby like she is a dolly, plaything. he does know that she is a little person, doesn't he?. I would feel like you and when you see the health visitor or clinic ask to speak to someone in private and explain that you have had a child with a complete twat. I would hate someone who did that to my baby.

Sorry I didn't, I mean that to be harsh on the poster just the father, I have every sympathy with her. Motherhood is hard enough without having to cope with idiots whose behaviours reflect on the mother. I am furious on posters behalf and have even snapped at own husband now.

It's a sun. Drawn around a belly-button. Don't you think you may be taking this just slightly out of proportion?

I mean, it's not dad of the year stuff, but 'abusive' 'disturbed' 'I would hate someone who did that to my baby' 'disgusting' 'has no empathy'

Really?

As for it being unacceptable to make fun of babies because they can't join in the joke - on that basis shouldn't you cut out your grandma if she buys you a Christmas pudding onesie? Baby ain't getting that joke either.

Personally I’d be writing “I’m the twat that drew on my newborn” with the same sharpie. I’d also then make sure he wasn’t in a position to care for your child again when he’d been drinking again.

Christmas pudding, perhaps. Something uncomfortable/ridiculous/a tight headband with a big bow, no. Because that would be making a joke at the expense of the baby, for the benefit of everyone else. A bit like drawing on them in permanent marker.... I hope you're kidding when you appear to be unable to see the difference between 'having a joke' and 'taking the piss'.

I used to work in a hospital and the consultants on their rounds would often 'borrow' a common or garden marker pen off anyone working nearby who had one I'd been there long enough to know you never ever let it be known you have a pen about you in a hospital as you rarely get them back . They used them to draw a borderline of where an inflammation from a wound had spread to, for example so they could check in next day or so if it was spreading or receding. So I presume especially as this was people already 'compromised' skin wise then it is not dangerous or doesn't get into the system.. But then I wasn't clinical but clerical member of staff so may be wrong and maybe different for a baby's skin..

What an idiot! I can't say it wouldn't make me snort a little but it really is bloody stupid. Being drunk with a baby is not something we have ever even considered personally. I suppose it's not uncommon as people do on occasion go out and use babysitters and when the sitters go home, the parents aren't magically sober again but to do something so idiotic? I'd not be happy.

Use an alcohol based hand sanitiser to get the marker off. The other two options are rubbing alcohol (does anyone actually have that stuff?) and nail polish remover, which I would guess isn't great for newborn skin.

I'd be pretty horrified I think.

I really wanted to draw a moustache on new born DD it DH got really pissy about it and forbade me. I was going to use eyeliner though