My husband drew on my baby!

[FEJ2016]

I need some perspective from someone who isn’t me- I’ve just gone to change my 5 week old daughter and my husband has drawn in black sharpie marker pen on her stomach (he has drawn a big sun around her belly button). I am incredibly upset with him. I can’t believe he would draw on our child honestly I’m dumbfounded. It looks hideous. And how am I now supposed to take her to clinic to get weighed? It looks terrible. When I have challenged him (woke him up- it’s 3am and I was changing her before her feed) he just said ‘why is there a pen there’ and ‘I was just a bit drunk don’t overreact’.
I didn’t know he was drunk or I wouldn’t have let him anywhere near our child for a start, but seriously, am I overreacting? I think it’s the most irresponsible thing I’ve ever seen I actually feel sick.

Tell him to take the baby to clinic to get weighed. That way he can have any conversations the HV wants to have about wtf he was thinking.

YANBU

The issue is that you feel he's treated her like an object not a person.

I was going to say the same as 53rdway.
He has to take the baby to be weighed and he can face the embarrassment.

Lnk

If it doesn't come off with a baby wipe/bath it make up remover then he's got to find something urgently to get it off

I'd be absolutely livid too what a stupid pillock thing to do!!!

I’d be pretty mad that he decided to approach your dd drunk. Shouldn’t be happening. Alcohol around babies can be extremely dangerous. I think the sharpie drawing really is stupid but not actually the main issue here.

IME sharpie doesn't wash off - It wears off. It's a permanent marker.

I think it's abusive actually. Having fun at someone else's expense.

The medical knowledge (or lack of it) shown here is almost as embarrassing as the ridiculous judgmental use based on a single incident.

It is permanent marker and v annoying (which is why I get cross with my sons when they draw on one another with it). However you definitely don't want to rub the skin hard and abrade it to get the marker off. If anything that will push the chemicals into the bloodstream (as well as being uncomfortable for the poor baby). If there was any danger at all (and my guess is it was so minimal as to be virtually non existent), it was fumes being inhaled when first applied.

He shows such poor judgement I don't think he's safe around your baby.

Yes Sharpie really won't wash off, it will kind of have to grow off! She obviously won't have a sun around her belly button for life but it's a lot worse than a Crayola! I'd be pissed off too.

The inks in those pens are carcinogenic. As are most inks actually. That's why it's an occupational hazard in the printing industry to get bladder cancer. Not that I think your child will get cancer from this one incident op, but it could have led to an allergic reaction, and scaring.

I'd be furious. It's not so much that harm as been done but it shows a callous disregard for your vulnerable helpless new born to draw on them just because you can. It feels like such bullying vindictive thing to do.

What a fucking weirdo

Gamer,

Wtaf?!

Do you know the meaning of 'vindictive'. You really think that was his motivation?

I would be angry because of the chemicals in the pen and because of the being drunk around a little baby. I'd probably be angrier about the latter. Definitely check out the chemicals.

I'd be seriously debating right now whether I should be drawing on his face during the night! Incredibly immature and I don't know that I'd want to stoop to his level but would make me feel like I'd got her own back!

What on earth was he thinking? I can well imagine the health visitor's reaction. It's abuse.

He's an idiot and I wouldn't leave him alone with the baby from now on. Or the toddler, preschooler, under 10 etc.

I would be furious, those chemicals on a 5 week old baby, I would worry about him being drunk around a baby or a child for that matter, did he apply pressure if he was drunk? Thank goodness you are responsible, you are just a good mom protecting that innocent child that 6 weeks ago was inside you, why wouldn't you be upset. He has got to know he crossed the line, it isn't funny, I do not agree one bit with those that think it a bit of a joke. The coconut oil is a good idea or find baby wipes remove most things.

This thread is hysterical! God only knows how some of you make it through a single day.

Don't try to scrub the marker off, it won't help and it will hurt your baby.

My cousin's son drew on his baby sister with a permanent marker and she had an allergic reaction to it. She still has scars on her chest from it, two years on. It's a really foolish thing for your husband to have done, OP. I'd have a serious talk with him about it. And about him playing drunk "pranks" on a person too small to defend themselves against them. It's not on.

I think it's a weird thing to do too.
He's her father and she's only 5 weeks old. He's not some toddler who doesn't understand that a baby isn't just another one of his toys to toodle all over.
He's meant to protect his precious newborn.

Wtf??!

I'd be fuming. For every reason that's already been said. Can you find out from anyone else at the party what happened?

On a practical note, surgical spirit might help to shift it slightly. We've used it to do some craft things and it makes the ink in Sharpies kind of separate and run. So it might just get some of it off.