My husband drew on my baby!

[FEJ2016]

I need some perspective from someone who isn’t me- I’ve just gone to change my 5 week old daughter and my husband has drawn in black sharpie marker pen on her stomach (he has drawn a big sun around her belly button). I am incredibly upset with him. I can’t believe he would draw on our child honestly I’m dumbfounded. It looks hideous. And how am I now supposed to take her to clinic to get weighed? It looks terrible. When I have challenged him (woke him up- it’s 3am and I was changing her before her feed) he just said ‘why is there a pen there’ and ‘I was just a bit drunk don’t overreact’.
I didn’t know he was drunk or I wouldn’t have let him anywhere near our child for a start, but seriously, am I overreacting? I think it’s the most irresponsible thing I’ve ever seen I actually feel sick.

, I think people would assume the mother was having some kind of mental breakdown at least.

ODFOD . How patronising!
You either have too much time on your hands or live in a very privileged area if drawing on your kid are signs of abuse and mental breakdowns for you.

As the victim of a paedophile whose cover was his ongoing joke that he was bad with kids (and who once gave me a glass to drink out of when I was cutting teeth - which I duly took a bite out of - an 'inept bloke anecdote' which people still laugh at to this day) I strongly disagree.

What a prick.

The next time he’s pissed and conked out draw a cock and balls on his face with a sharpie.

Clearly it was a big deal to the OP or she wouldn't have posted.

"I didn't know he was drunk"

He was horrified this morning, so pressumably he was black out drunk when this happened, and has no recollection of what induced him to do it? He wasn't in control of himself, and did something odd to the baby while in this state (surely doodling on a tiny baby with a permanent marker, is odd). I blackout when I'm drunk, and have done some truly strange (and scary) things. It's why I don't drink anymore. I can see why dh is upset with himself this morning, what if he'd done something odder again, or god forbid panicked about the sharpie and tried to give her a bath in that state. He probably shouldn't be around the baby when he's drunk again.

User
Stop projecting your past on to this.
Nobody in their right mind would say someone is having a breakdown for putting a bit of I k on a kid.

You are sounding more hysterical with every new post.

What are you doing here Willow? You clearly have no concern for the wellbeing or safety of the baby involved, such is your determination to dismiss this bizarre incident. Perhaps you're the one protecting?

And as for my self, I know calling women 'hysterical' is the age old insult to get them to shut up. I refuse, and i will continue to speak about my own experiences where they are relevant and may help someone else to spot the signs. How dare you dismiss what I went through! Shame on you.

You obviously have major issues and I'm sorry about that, but you're projecting a huge amount onto a completely unrelated situation.

I'm a professional in this area and this would not come onto anyones radar for anything. It really is nothing, no big deal. We can be dismissive because it should be dismissed.

projecting

Of course you are existential because all 'professionals' refer to the mental scars of child abuse as 'major issues'.

And all professionals discount the testimony and wisdom of adults who've survived child abuse, right?

You're clearly doing your job wrong if a grown, drunken man drawing on a defenceless newborn doesn't ring any alarm bells. And you have extremely low expectations of fathers.

It would make me laugh. I don't think it's a big deal as a one off and he's usually good at looking after baby.

I’d consider it to be a bit stupid and tell his health vititor mother.

All this talk about chemicals though. People forget they use loads of shit unnatural chemicals on and around babies.

I think you should sharpie him personally. Draw a sun on his forehead when he’s next tiddly

It was clearly a thoughtless prank and not malicious or intended to hurt

As professionals we understand that people project their own experience onto others, and then make very bad judgements. Like you are.

I do my job very well thank you.

The internet is full of pictures of babies with drawn on eyebrows, moustaches, glasses, beards, Harry Potter scars.....

If you Google it there's MN threads with people having a laugh about drawing a moustache on a baby.

It's something that a lot of people find funny. Fair enough if you don't but it isn't a sign of child abuse.

And I call CYPS a lot during the course of my working week. If I called them to say I wanted to report someone for drawing a sun on their baby, I'm pretty sure it would be ME that they thought was having a 'mental breakdown'.

TiesthatBindMe - not on the Moors; there it is to mark ownership given that there will be several flocks all exercising common rights. But you may be right that this father was simply indicating that he had fed and changed his little lamb.

Do not out words in .y mouth user

I did not dismiss your experience. I a long with others have said it is not comparable to what the ops oh did. A one of llittle Sun around a belly button is not child abuse. By saying that you are minimising Real abuse

The fact that you are seeing abuse in this one stupid act is frankly scary for anyone you are actually judging in rl.

After years in child care working closely with social services and family services and seeing day to day instances of children in less than perfect home situations I can rest assured that nobody I work with would flag this up as child abuse.

Well I've worked in several schools where records have been kept on far less. This is clear, deliberate defacement of a defenceless newborn and I will not see it minimised.

If you were keeping the records, I dread to think what you were writing about that was far less than this. Is there even anything far less than this? No.

You will see it minimised, because we are all saying it should be.

Well I've worked in several schools where records have been kept on far less

What a waste of time and resources.

Maybe user worked in schools with very little excitement so grabbed it where she could by logging minor tittle tattle? My kids school is like this. They make a mountain out of a molehill. I work with children in care and my caseload is very different.

Not a big deal

It's not abuse but it is weird! I cant imagine my husband doing that to my son ever!