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Original poster

sharing pictures of children online (not a mother)

290 replies

user1481460461 · 11/12/2016 13:26

Hello all,

I am new to Mumsnet (don't have children myself, but was aware of the website before) and not sure I am posting in the right thread.
Basically, my brother is divorced and his children (2 and 3.5) were awarded by the court to his ex (who has so many issues that the court decision came as complete shock to us). He has contact once a week and I am often helping him to look after the children when he has them.
I am very proud of my nephews, despite the conflict we have with their mother, and my social networks' picture and video feed is 50% dedicated to them (and another 50% to my hobby, which I am passionate about). Normal videos like playing with toys, nursery rhymes etc, nothing questionable, all comments from my friends and relatives are also very positive and loving.
I received a barrage of messages from the mother last week asking me to remove the pictures and videos under the threat of contacting the administration, police etc. I ignored it at first, but then I thought to consult with the hive mind. Am I breaking any criminal or moral law here? The father gave me full permission to share online whatever I think is appropriate.

Thank you all xxx

OP posts:
MuppetsChristmasCarol · 11/12/2016 17:06

You actually want to adopt these children, even though they have a hard working mother that already cares for them.

You are deluded.

Oswin · 11/12/2016 17:08

So you wanted to take them four hours away from the mother?

You are a serious fucking weirdo.

They are not your kids!

Oswin · 11/12/2016 17:09

So he fucked you off got married had two kids.

They break up and you have him straight back and now want to take her kids and get rid of her.

Fucking hell.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting
RebelRogue · 11/12/2016 17:10

So the plan was to get full custody,move in with children you met once,move them 4 hours away from their mother,while their father would share their care with a stranger that is unsure if it would work or not. And you were surprised you were denied?

Original poster
user1481460461 · 11/12/2016 17:12

I don't know now. I even ended up taking some equity from my property to pay some of the final stage legal fees because I felt some duty of care. I felt hurt for my ex-ex whom I still loved who fell into a classic honey trap, I felt bad for the children who were facing such a hard start in life and were his flesh and blood, I even felt a little bit sorry for their mother who I also felt very insecure about as she is 100x more attractive and much younger than me.
We considered moving away because this is an only financially feasible option, not to spite the mother. He was required to present a realistic plan to the court and this is the only thing we could come up with.

OP posts:
Orangetoffee · 11/12/2016 17:12

Leave the bastard! Really why would you give him another chance after the way he treated you. You do realise that his ex was very likely the OW when he was in a relationship with you.

NotLadyPrickshit · 11/12/2016 17:13

This just gets fucking better the longer it goes on...

OP here's some advice...

Get a family of your own & leave this poor woman & her children alone!

LavenderDoll · 11/12/2016 17:13

You want to take another woman's children off her?
You want to move them 4 hours a way
Who do you think you are and seriously what the fuck have those children got to do with you
You don't get to take another woman's children and play happy families.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 11/12/2016 17:14

Stop defending your ex, he cheated and left you he didn't 'fall into a classic honey trap'.

Now the mother of his children is inconvenient he wants her erased, just as he did to you when he got with her.

Just because the charges didn't go anywhere it really doesn't mean he didn't do it, it just means there wasn't enough evidence.

BratFarrarsPony · 11/12/2016 17:15

" fell into a classic honey trap "

WTAF?
'Honey trap' is an espionage term. This is a case of that the man fancied the other woman more than he fancied you.
I really dont think stealing her children is a fair return.
You need therapy.

LavenderDoll · 11/12/2016 17:15

And fuck off with your honey trap shit

He's a grown man he knew what he was doing

Get a grip and take the rose tinted glasses off.

Bloody honey trap my arse

Underthemoonlight · 11/12/2016 17:17

You're even be a mug to pay for his fees!!! Are you even together? He wasn't honey trapped he left your arse for someone younger and in your own admission more attractive who is from abroad. No one forced him he did this on his own accord he married her and had children not one but two, again he wasn't forced to do this. You're putting blame on her because she had what you wanted with your dp your jealous and you wan her family. Why are the children facing a hard start in life?

Underthemoonlight · 11/12/2016 17:18

You need some help here because this is not normal behaviour you sound unhinged.

LavenderDoll · 11/12/2016 17:18

The only hard start those children have is being saddled with a weak willed shit of a father

eyebrowsonfleek · 11/12/2016 17:21

The fact that he's moving away is pretty crap. The poor kids will be spending most of their weekend in the car. Did your partner get legal advice or is his knowledge about child access from TV? The "average" non-resident parents gets every other weekend and an overnight mid-week. If he wants more than that then he'd have to live close to his ex so that they can minimise disruption and both do the school runs etc His strategy of a public FB photo album to show how great he is as a dad and attacking the mum makes him appear like a bully. Do a search on here about Disney Parenting. It doesn't benefit the kids' mental health. It seems arrogant for him to assume he should be the resident parent when she was a good enough mum to have a second child. Is there a reason that he didn't go for 50/50 (and stay local?)

Original poster
user1481460461 · 11/12/2016 17:22

I know she was the OW, he had these 'business trips' to her country where she worked in the branch for the same company, which got more and more frequent and started covering weekends and long weekends and then weeks, until he told me the truth and turned out later she was probably already pregnant at that time as well. He came clear about all this, and I would not lie, it does keep me awake at night sometimes wondering what I am doing.
You are all probably right. I will go next week and talk to a therapist. Re-reading it in black and white like that does seem awful and abnormal.

OP posts:
NotLadyPrickshit · 11/12/2016 17:24

Eyebrowsonfleek I'm guessing OP is the reason he didn't go for 50/50 as she clearly doesn't want a part time family!

A woman who would attempt to take another woman's children away from her for no good reason is the lowest of the low in my opinion

LavenderDoll · 11/12/2016 17:24

So what if she was the other woman ? All that does is show you what a shit he is.
It wasn't a honey trap it was an affair.

You can't steal yourself a family and erase history get some self respect and leave that poor woman and her children alone

GahBuggerit · 11/12/2016 17:25

Honey trap hahaha Grin

just.......i mean.......ah fuck it, jesus woman have some fucking self respect and get your own family

a younger model came along and he ditched you. i almost feel a bit sorry for you

will happen again.

ScarletForYa · 11/12/2016 17:26

You sound like a loose canon.

The check of you.

ScarletForYa · 11/12/2016 17:26

The cheek of you.

Mooey89 · 11/12/2016 17:26

OP, your "fiancé" is a shit.
He's done a number on you and I can only urge you to leave him and take some time to work on being happy as you are, alone. Then find someone worthy.

He's manipulating both of you.

eyebrowsonfleek · 11/12/2016 17:27

The courts are supposed to protect the children's interests. Why would they make the kids go through the upheaval of moving far away with a man who can't cope with 24 hours of care without help? If his family are so supportive why didn't they tell him it was highly unlikely to happen?

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 11/12/2016 17:27

He had an affair, he wasn't conned, coerced or honey trapped.

You have been very gullible and bought all of his lies.

I feel very sorry for you op. Hopefully talking to a therapist will help you see how naive you have been and give you the self respect to get away from this lying cheating deadbeat you are with.

Lunar1 · 11/12/2016 17:27

Do you not just feel like finding someone with no children and having your own family, rather than trying to appropriate someone else's.