Noooo. Dbaby is broken and I can't find a guarantee.

[loosechange]

He won't stop crying unless he's being held by me, preferably sleeping on one exposed boob, although at a push I can reclothe.

He is declining tuneless songs and cuddles from his siblings, and putting him down got me into a lot of trouble. Who needs words to shout?!

I can't find his warranty, and am not sure I could face returning him, collection was bad enough.

Any suggestions?

It's the newer models OP. They're hopeless.

My 1999 models were perfect. Never cried, slept through from activation, you could virtually ignore them!

I would like to report that the 1995 model had few faults until about 2007, so watch out for when you think you have a decent model, it is just lulling you into a false sense of security, although that model did seem to do an automatic reboot at about 18. The 1999 model was extremely temperamental for a while, but seems to have settled down after the application of many groundings. The 2001 model has recently entered sleep mode and is difficult to remove from his docking station, but I have high hopes. He also make strange grunting noises but I'm hoping this will reset in a couple of years if we install some new software. My eyes water at returning them the way they came out.

Oh god yes - my 2015 model started glitching as soon as the 12 months elapsed! Sleep mode no longer lasts all night, and I'm having to recharge in the early hours. I'd been hoping that he would no longer want charging using this particular method by now, but he won't accept other types of fuel so I don't seem to have any other option.

On the plus side, he's responded well to the new nursery function (albeit with temporary 'd&v' and 'conjunctivitis' malfunctions) so I've been able to work again!

mmm..i tend to agree with the posters saying pre new millenium models are less glitchy .

My 1997 model had no glitches at all ever...has been as promised in the brochure.
My 1999 model also very glitch free apart from around 2010 when there was a very slight water and soap resistant glitch which seemed to resolve with the puberty upgrade i ordered for it in late 2011.

The two models that have become my family despite me not ordering them or accepting delivery of them are sadly not without technical problems.

There is a 1998 model that still emits that high pitched sound on hearing word NO or similar interpretation of its request and a 1999 model who is relatively harmless but lacks the brochure charm my own models have...perhaps my DP ordered the budget version ?

My 2016 model works fairly well but I've had to buy a lot of extras to keep him in happy mode, if he isn't being entertained at all times by shiny crinkly plastic then he goes into 'fuss until I get to sleep on mummy' mode.

My 2014 model is very glitchy. Sleep mode over night requires me having to hold the thing most of the night and even when it does finally click into sleep mode, it moves around and has been known to headbutt and kick repeatedly. I also need a patch for the language software as what I mostly get it babble and screaming. Annoyingly, the older model has edited the programming so it can say "Bik!" and "Seeeeeets!"
My 2010 model came with SleepDeep Extra running as standard. I must have forgotten to check if that was still the case as the 2014 model definitely does not have this feature. Still, the 2010 model has developed an odd fault at the moment which involves singing Jingle Bells all year round.

mmm..i tend to agree with the posters saying pre new millenium models are less glitchy

Although I recall my Dparents ordering something in the 80s when I was about 6, my goodness they must have been big in those days, took my bedroom and malfunctioned with regards to vegetables until the mid 2000s. Not compatible with the washing machine. Expensive running costs (tried using my hand me downs several times, it let out a whining sound and collapsed).

And they just wouldn't get rid of it - keep hoping they can use some new resale site e.g. MARRIAGE.COM OR CO-HABIT.

Still chuckling at "livelier user experience". Glitches in my 13 model seem to have evened out for the moment.
At least you didn't get buy-one-get-one-free OP!

My 1995 model has had a few minor problems but nothing a reboot didn't correct. I am glad to report that everything now appears to be in full working order.

My 1998 model requires a lot of bolt-ons but on the whole the glitches are fewer and further between.

Having said that I am currently re-packaging both and waiting for the courier to arrive.

Apparently you are not covered by usual consumer protection because you most probably did not keep all the packaging.
If you've still got his amniontic sac and placenta in your freezer, you might have a chance but getting him back inside the shop could be problematic (and also rather painful)

My late 2015 model seems to have installed a major dribbling and food stealing patch. I'm soggy and hungry...

Ah the good old days.
The models made in the 1960s were put in a Silver Cross pram and left out in the garden all day.
Now they are getting on a bit, a lot of them require regular treatment with an alcohol based lubricant

No baby for another 2 months but this thread is brilliant :-D
Hope mines from the new batch, though i tend to be unlucky so guessing it won't be and will also be missing the off switch/volume control

I purchased my 2016 model via c section. Should be easy enough to return.

The sales assistant threw away the packaging. Clearly they have had this problem before.
The manufacturer started muttering about finding a guarantee, followed by talk of an oral plug-in. From memory these require frequent resection though, am unconvinced

Reinserton, not resection.

getting on a bit

Retro versions. All the rage now, though less portable.

The eyeballs have recently come loose in my 2008 model and now roll whenever asked to do anything. Same happened to the 2005 a few years ago. Seems to be a systemic fault.

The 2013 model has recently installed the YesPlease app which of all the apps it has is the most charming. We are less keen on the BigNoise app which seems to run automatically on start up and can only be interrupted by the repeated insertion of Cheerios.

The 2015 model seems to run according to the manufacturer's instructions so far apart from the NewTooth program which is running slowly and painfully...

I have a 2014 and a 2016. Volume set far too high on both. And both sleep settings not working. I have tried indoor and outdoor mode, recharging, ignoring. It's getting quite frustrating.

My 2009 model also had oral plug in when fairly new but it moved on to discover its integral oral plug. This glitch, according to our specialist oral engineer, may cause incorrect placing of key oral components newly installing at the moment. Constant voice commands such as 'NO THUMB SUCKING' not having desired impact on glitch.

Does anyone know how to disable Overtired And Hysterical mode on the 2016 version??

Sorry mum I've been trying to find that switch since 2012. I find it only stops once in sleep mode.
My 2012 model seemed to have missed out on the climbing furniture mode so it was a bit of a shock when the 2014 model started elevating itself on tables etc.
Is there a setting I'm missing?

You need to turn it off and then back on again. Reboot required. HTH?