Noooo. Dbaby is broken and I can't find a guarantee.

[loosechange]

He won't stop crying unless he's being held by me, preferably sleeping on one exposed boob, although at a push I can reclothe.

He is declining tuneless songs and cuddles from his siblings, and putting him down got me into a lot of trouble. Who needs words to shout?!

I can't find his warranty, and am not sure I could face returning him, collection was bad enough.

Any suggestions?

I have a similar problem to other users.
My 2002 model doesnt seem to be able to function without the added input of a phone in its hand. It seems that without looking at the screen while doing a task it is incapable of doing anything. Of course this does lead to the task being done with one hand which is hardly efficient and takes twice as long. Any attempt to use logic to point out this results in overheating of the system and being lots of verbal diarhhoea about me being unresaonable, its working perfectly well etc.

Is there a reset button? I have searched in vain but never found one.

Would removal of the phone cause long term damage to the unit? It seems to think so but I cant find the manual. Come to think of it there wasnt one, I should have asked for one on delivery.

My 2012 and 2014 models were working perfectly untill i had had them for 2 years.
The 2012 version started sprouting 2 separate leaks at once and emits a high pitched wailing alarm at the same time.
The 2014 model seems to have auto-downloaded the 'angry no' app.
Have no idea how to disable this!

My 2006 model seems to have stolen the TV remote and is then employing mummy I love you mode in order to avoid returning it.. Both the 2002 and 2006 blue models seem to require additional feeding leading to regular growth spurts and the 2002 model is now bigger than the operator and employing man of the house mode..

My 2002 model is now bigger than me too, is there a restricting growth/feeding softwear that will stop this occuring with the 2005 model?

I really don't find this a post that fellow mums should be joking about. I have 2 children, aged 24 and 15. I appreciate how it feels if you have had incredibly difficult births/hard time afterwards/lack of family to help out/useless or abusive partner. I really feel like the poster is looking for help, and not jokes. Grow the fuck up, and post some useful information, or go down Camden and become a stand up comedian. The best way to approach motherhood is.....Take a breath if feeling anxious. If you have family who can help(lucky you)always take them up on their offers of help. Always. Rest when the baby sleeps.... Cuddle and love and be as gentle as possible with your little one..always. When you put your little one down to sleep, it is bedtime. Go in the first time when they cry to ensure that they are okay.If they are, say ''it's sleep time..good night. I love you..sweet dreams.'' 2nd time..''go to sleep.'.it's bedtime'' 3rd time...no talk..silent. Any time after that..absolutely no talk..just putting baby back into sleep position and tucking in. Btw..for those who don't know....Never put your baby to sleep on their bellies or sides when very young. If they manage to flip themselves over onto their bellies(and they sometimes can)it is possible for them to stop breathing. It's so difficult being a new mum. Any chat/advice/help..please feel free to message me.xx

Thank god you're here Bloodybones, we were all enjoying ourselves rather than being good little martyrs and we can't have that, can we?

For yourself, have you considered downloading the sense of humour bug fix?

W.T.A.F.??

Re read th op's post..."warranty" "returning him"

Think one model needs a sense of humour upgrade!

Willow am looking for the same bug fix as you, otherwise the 2006 model is looking like having the same glitch as the 2002, interestingly though the 1999 pink model didn't come with the same software and remains in petite mode. Have however made use of the bribery app and the operator has now temporarily regained control of the television!

Actually Bloodybones, thats probably the most condescending post I have read in a long time. Jeeze us mums would never have thought of loving our kids!

OP is fine. If I had wanted support rather than a joke I would have been direct about it. Thanks for the offer to PM you though.

I did consider cancelling the cheque, but it was cash on delivery.

But have you cancelled the cheque though? I really think you should.

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer

is there a dept of trading standards we could complain to?
maybe somewhere online we could get inhibiting software from?

I fear we are stuck with faulty models...

Bloodybones - I think you have inserted something in the disk drive that should be removed immediately -
Then download the sense of humour app - and delete the I know best app - it's causing a hard drive meltdown

Have you tried switching it off and on again?

Aprilskies44

Dont hold your breath... Microsoft have been going 28yrs and look at Windows 10....chances are there wont be any significant improvements in your next model either.

And, if it feels like it gets too much...Go outside and call someone. Don't try to deal with the situation by yourself. Call family. Call a friend. Contact me if you feel the need..I'll be here. Call Social Services before you go back in there and handle the situation inappropriately. Do what you know is the right thing for your baby.

People generally make jokes when in their most dire needs. The fact that not one of you have offered any form of real help or advice, shows your naivety and lack of empathy.

bloodybones is hilarious. If anyone's children need sympathy it isn't the OPS

Who mentioned being a martyr? I have successfully raised 2 very loving, caring and intelligent people. Both of my children are at major social gatherings atm. The reason that I can be sending these messages right now.

Fatty, I'm sure that the poster will appreciate your words of wisdom.

I'm sure she will too.