how long would you let a 2.5yo cry?

[babybrainache]

Dd1 has been crying / whining for last hour because I told her she couldn't watch Peppa pig after ignoring me when I asked her to do something. I've told her she can watch it if she says sorry but she simply refuses and carries on crying. When do I crack and put on the tv?

You are right,it has been consistently the same. Other than brief posts when it was just happy,fatty and I.

exactly. it's perfectly normal to have differences in opinion. this thread became very nasty though. consistently so. apart from as you mention a poster has seen that I am being unfairly judged and has come to my defence. but yes lets go back to being nasty why not

Fatty I thought you were being nasty to a two year old.

That tends to get people riled.

You want a 2 yo to say sorry? I think that's your mistake... Now, forget about that, offer a cuddle and a story or something to do alone with her while the baby sleeps. I smell a bit of jeaslousy there...

not nasty. firm. but you interpret that as you like. that is your perogative. just as it is my perogative to let my childs tantrum run its course.

Firm? Yes fatty. You were firm, no doubt about that

yes. you can be firm and loving at the same time.

but obviously I am wrong as you couldn't possibly be wrong when referring to an incident you were not in any way involved in which involved a parent and child that you do not know and have never even met.

it worked for us. That is all I have said. not that it is the "right" way to do things as with parenting there is no right or wrong as long as you are loving and caring and your child feels.safe and secure. just as my 6 yo does.

This thread is unbelievable! Every parent I know has a different way of dealing with different situations. I have three children, grown up now. The first two were brilliant sleepers, they went to bed, went to sleep and got up at a reasonable time in the morning. The third one was an horrific sleeper. Up 7/8 times a night, through habit I would say but who knows. For the sake of my sanity I had to do something about it and yes I left him to cry. But it was after months of being up most of the night. I blooming well wish I'd nipped it in the bud at the beginning, because after just one night he slept through. Children aren't manipulative, but they learn! They learn very very quickly what works and what doesn't. Just because Fattymcfatfat has a different way of dealing with an issue does not make her wrong, abusive or cruel! Oh, and my youngest has grown up with no issues, in fact having good nights sleep for the majority of his life has probably made him a better person!!! I know people who have slept on the floor holding their children's hands and then crept out hours later when they were properly asleep - now that is worrying, more so for the parents psyche and wellbeing.

It all came came good then.

yes. which is what if people would actually read my posts, I have been saying all along!

Fatty, like the vast majority, I don't agree with you I just can't be arsed to argue anymore, hence the platitudes. I don't doubt that your child is perfectly happy,but what you did was wrong. And I suspect you know that. Anyway good luck with it all. I have got a mountain of laundry to sort!

good luck with your laundry. and no I was not wrong. how is it wrong to deal with a tantrum and nip that behaviour in the bud?
wrong would be pandering to his every whim and running myself into the ground trying to be nicey nicey and raising a child that feels the world should bow down at their feet.
not saying this is what you have done, but that seems to be what I am picking up . from all of this.
poor children how dare they learn that bedtime is for sleeping?

Enjoying, I'm sure there are lots of things that you do that others don't, or have a different way of doing. How would you feel if you were being told categorically that you were wrong? Everyone is allowed their opinion, a discussion about things is great - but when you stoop to the level of saying someone is just plain wrong, then it's time to step away from the conversation as you clearly aren't able to contribute in a sensible manner.

Why can't people have opinions about what's right or wrong? In the absence of scientific evidence that it's not harmful, it could be. In the absence of scientific evidence that it is harmful it could even be beneficial. Or it could depend on the specific child whether it's harmful or not. The cortisol evidence tends to tip me in the direction of it could be harmful but can't claim to have read up in detail as I wasn't going to do it anyway.

If someone told me something I was doing was categorically wrong, I'd ask if they had evidence for that; if not I'd ask what their reasons were; if they don't have evidence or reasons that convince me then no problem, we just have different opinions.

Gosh can't believe the buns are still flying on this thread! I have just thrown a big octonauts party for DS2 (see what a horrid mum I am!!) and am finally sitting with a cuppa! FWIW I have never left my children to cry for hours in the garden as after 2 mins they got the message that the level of noise they were making was not acceptable to me in the house. They can shout and yell all they want outside though!

tut tut. an octonaut party! and you didn't invite me

I feel like I read something totally different from what everyone else did. I saw fatty make an 'oh god, I can identify, here is an anecdote from a particularly dark moment of mine, which I can laugh at now'. Which everyone else seems to have read as 'every time my child cries I ignore him'.

I genuinely do not understand. I have seen a child (not my own, a relative) cry for longer than four hours. It was.. I don't even know, a full day, basically. This is an NT child who just was like that, and would refuse to be consoled, particularly since by the time we got to around hour two they were merely tantrumming because that was what they'd decided to do, rather than for any particular reason. It wasn't a great day for anyone but I didn't, at the time or since, think it was a parenting fail, or abusive. Just a bad day. Said child is now a perfectly fine adult. It happens. Nobody dies.

Afternoon folks. This all seems to have veered rather off track, which seems a little unfair on the OP, and become a discussion about one instance. Could we draw a line under that part of the discussion now and get back to discussing the OP's question in more general terms? Thanks ever so.

Yes I agree with Jellydinosaurs and wheresthe light and psipsina My dcs are grown up and do not expect the world to revolve around them, though we're none of us perfect, I tried my hardest to respond kindly and fairly to them (taking into account their hunger, thirst and tiredness etc.) what ever was going on.

The op who said children are not adults, and don't have the same brain development or understanding are right. I think that's where a number of parents and educationalists are going wrong.

The children bought up with unrealistic expectations often end up stressed and neurotic. I think that they're not allowed to be children much anymore and it's wrong.