Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

So am I really a bad mother?

86 replies

shhhh · 29/09/2006 15:14

Well dd is 16 months and i'm a sahm mum. Although dh & I have gone out for nights together and left dd in bed with either set of parents babysitting we have never left her alone during the day..

Well tbh there have been a few occasions where we have gone for baby scans (ds2b due Jan07) or a mw appointment (left with my mum) BUT generally she has never been left in anyone elses care.

I am fine with this and I thought dh was until today. In a conversation this morning he thinks maybe I am quite protective of dd and maybe we need to llosen things before ds2b arrives, mainly so dd doesn;t stress when we need to leave her with my mum to go into hospital.
TBH she is fine on the odd occasion she has been left with mum and is quite a confident outgoing happy little girl. So I don't honstly see there being a problem, once pointed out dh agreed we shouldn't have a problem.

Friends of ours with kids both work and leave their kids in the care of nursery & gp's and do this on a regular basis. Not just while working but once finished at work, when they fancy a night out or even a lie in. The topic was brought up by a friend this week and I was made to feel bad coz dd has never stayed out over night or never stays alone at gp's/family etc.
I explained that as a sahm "this is my job" and one I enjoy. To send dd off to gp's to give me a break or at w/ds is not something I would consider. DH works long hours during the week so his only time with dd is w/ds, time we enjoy as a family. TBH is dd did stay out we would have no sleep for fear of worry about her etc. Typical parents concerns I think.

I'm not saying dd will never go anywhere without me but atm I feel that I want to be her main infulence and I want to enjoy precious time with her.
I'm a PND (and AND) sufferer and this is one of my side effects if you like. .

Does anyone share the same views as me ( and possibly dh).? Why should I be made to feel like a bad mother because I want to be the one who's around when she wakes, or when she goes to the park or to watch when her face lights up at big cook little cook..?

I just feel I am in such a honoured position where I don't need to work atm and I don't feel like I want to either. I want to remember my days with dd as a baby and lo and not feel like I have no control if she stays with gp's etc..

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
fatfox · 30/09/2006 23:38

shhh - PMSL at the image of your DD out on the town and you waiting up all night to collect her!

shhhh · 30/09/2006 23:41

hey don't laugh..!! That is my image of dh..!!!

She will be "in da club" getting jiggy with some guy and dh will be behind her tapping her on the shoulder..! I kid you not...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL he says, now when she brings a guy home there is NOWAY they are going up to her room to watch tv. He says I know exactly what that means..and just to fool them we will be going upstairs for numerous things through out the tv programmes NOT just during the commercials..!

LOL dh & I knew when mum or dad were on their way upstairs..usually during the breaks of corrie or eastenders..!

OP posts:
fatfox · 30/09/2006 23:59

shhh - wow they grow up so fast don't they!

Our DS had two girlfiends when he was three - they used to fight over him in nursery, about which one would marry him!! Now he's six and just states "all girls are yukky!" Long may it last !!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

shhhh · 01/10/2006 00:14

lol..!!! Our friend son is 4 months older than dd and they keep saying x meet your future girlfriend... DH & I just smile through gritted teeth..! Fat chance..! Ha..! She won't have a bf until shes at least...ohh....30.! ..!!

Oh Oh I can sense you turning into mil from hell ..!!!! I think thats what shocked me as well about finding out baby was possibly a boy..for the fear that I could be a mil for some girl.! I am determined I won't turn out like my mil..I can't turn out like my mil, I CAN'T, I CAN'T, I CAN'T. shit, I'm part way there..we already share the same name: Mrs xxxxxx

OP posts:
fatfox · 01/10/2006 00:21

Shhh - TBH I'm more worried about turning into my own mother

fatfox · 01/10/2006 00:25

shhh - have to go to bed now. I think our babies are due around the same time. I'm end of Feb/beginning of March (I'm on March 07 thread tho')

Take care and night night

shhhh · 01/10/2006 14:20

Yes we are due around the same time. Im 31/01 but am on the due in feb thread.
LOL about utrning in your mum..! DH looks at me some days in complete shock and then coments how alike my mum i am..! arrggghh..!

OP posts:
fatfox · 01/10/2006 15:00

I seem to have taken on the worst aspects of both my Mum and Dad since having children

I often listen to myself moaning at the children and think "oh no...." - realising who I sound like

Blondilocks · 01/10/2006 18:57

Re: the DDs going out..

When DD's 18 I'll only be 32 so I think we'll still be out clubbing then! Will be quite entertaining me thinks. Although several of my mates do go out with their parents (& these are 50+ parents).

crayon · 01/10/2006 19:13

I'm the same. I get a sense of pride and satisfaction from being the main carer. Let's face it, you don't get a lot of feedback being a sahm do you? it can be a thankless task as far as the domestic drudge goes, so why in the hell not take pride in doing the main bit of your job well? I'm sure lots of others will have hugely different views on this though (haven't read your other replies).

Crayon

mousiemousie · 01/10/2006 19:17

I see no problem with your approach to motherhood, hopefully you can get your confidence back

New posts on this thread. Refresh page