I am on day 3 of No Shouting.

[MyCrazyLife]

And I'm so bloody proud of myself!

I hated myself sometimes; I've got three lovely children (5, 3 and 1) and yet I got to the point where I was screaming at them regularly. Ok so in my "defence" it's the holidays, they fight and wind each other up constantly, I get very bad PMT.

But on the other hand, my horrible, abusive mother used to shout and scream at me, everything was my fault, and she would end saying things like "you should be ashamed" ... "You are a horrible bitch that no one likes" etc etc (things that to this day still affect me).

Now I never got that far with my own DC of course; they are all so loved and wanted. But I was terrified I'd turn into her. So after having a horrible day last Thursday, I vowed to stop shouting. They will still be disciplined if naughty, of course - with the Silly Step or toy confiscation etc - but I won't take out my own frustrations on them.

It's the third day, they're all asleep and I haven't shouted since that Thursday. I never thought I'd be able to do this, really hope I can keep it up. If I can, they may never remember the awful screeching mum they used to have.

Anybody else managed to stop?

what over?

River - have you tried the usual, evening primrose oil etc.? Watch your sugar intake too, that can make it worse (annoyingly, since chocolate/cake seem to be the "go to" foods for PMS!) Also restricting caffeine intake is supposed to help :)

thanks, Thumb - at present I have been burying my head in the sand about it , but this month was bad, felt like it went on for about 2 weeks! I will do some proper research as part of my No Shouting. What a total bore about sugar and caffiene .

BlueEyeshadow I label myself all the time and it's very counter productive. Don't worry, start again. What happened?

RiverTam hi :) glad you've joined, as I both have horrendous PMT and a lack of creativity. My tips:

1. Go on google/Pinterest to get some good ideas. Make a list and each day when you've got the most energy, maybe try something. We've done puffy paints, biscuit decorating, built train tracks. I'm not great with mess and I'm no artist but it's a start.

1. Actually, I need tips re PMT! Absolutely dreading it and hope I don't start back shouting when it's next due. I tend to get more emotional and needy with DP, too, which is horrible. Eg if he wants to go out with his mates I'm all huffy and wondering why he doesn't like me any more you could take evening primrose oil, but I don't think it'll work straightaway!

i recommend the Coil - no periods for YEARS

I've booked, and then cancelled, about 5 appointments to have the coil fitted! I need certainty in my life!

its AMAZING I havent had a period since 2003

I quite like periods

I think I'd constantly worry that I was pregnant if I was on the coil, even though it would obviously be really unlikely!

MyCrazy - my lack of creativity and imagination is really when I get into a downward spiral with DD and I can't think of a way to extricate us out of it, my mind just goes blank. Though I'm crap at craft things too .

but they give you pmt

i hated craft shit. I was an up and at em kind of Mum - always out doing stuff.

Yeh, I hate PMT!!

Never used to do "days out" etc, but have started in the past year. They are a life saver.

My house is looking quite nice, DS is about to be picked up by his auntie for a day at a theme park tomorrow, the girls are engrossed in peppa pig. I have no chocolate in the house :( but only 2 hours until I have completed day 4!

Remember in the holidays ONE activity a day.

Well I made it through the morning rush to get them ready for childcare so I could get to work on time without any raised voices. Woo hoo!

I read that article then sat them down and told them I love them both very much and I know I've been shouting more recently and I'm going to try very hard not to from now on. They looked pleased :)

They're overnight with the GPs tonight so DH and I can go out for our anniversary so will tell him about my new leaf as well...

This thread is just what I needed. Really want to be calm whatever happens when the baby rocks up in December.

Ugh, crafty stuff makes me even more shouty cos I can't deal with the mess, or the boys not doing it "right". Getting everybody outdoors generally helps, but this afternoon has just been indoors and cantankerous. I can't even remember what I shouted about which is how bad it is. General provocation and wound-up-ness.

but mess schmess - it will get tidied up in the end. Put some music on you like - or the radio to distract you

I've had the 'how to talk' book on my bedside table for months without owning it

Will actually start reading it this weekend.

Opening it, not owning it. Stoopid phone. I didn't nick it I promise!

Well done, Bicnod!

Blue - I'm the same. I hover waiting for mess and tell them off for doing it wrong. One thing I found helped was to do the activity too, so decorate my own biscuit, or paint my own picture. Then I can make mine perfect while they destroy theirs!

Manofsponge - which coil? I had the copper one but it made my periods worse... My sister has a mirena which she loves but there are some real horror stories on here...

mirena
i am no expert, it just worked for me. I know nothing about my cycle, never buy tampons etc

Well aunt flo turned up for me today, and last night I didn't get to sleep until 5.30 am till 7.30 when kids got up, so today should have been horrendous.

But it wasn't (think pre is much worse than actual menstrual though)

Took them to park for an hour this afternoon, and meet a lady who's husband died a mere 8 weeks ago :( I spent a while hour fighting the urge to cry/ hug her till she choked.

No shouting though! But dd spilt her drink all over dinner table and dp shouted at her :(

I want the 'how to talk' book, but never seem to have a spare tenner for it

Bedtime beckons, most stressful time for me....I'm going in!....

Liberal - my DP shouts too. He did well with me at the weekend until the girls started screaming in the car (he's just passed his test and had taken us out for the day) when he shouted at them to shut up. Still, what can we say? Up until 4 days ago, I was like that too. Well done to you, though :)

Mine are in bed now.. I did it!

Liberal, why is bed time stressful for you? Sorry, I missed that bit!! Hope it went well anyway...

Well that's day 3 for me of no shouting. Both dd's sound asleep, husband working late, house to myself... Bliss!!

Not shouting feels really bloody good.