I am on day 3 of No Shouting.

[MyCrazyLife]

And I'm so bloody proud of myself!

I hated myself sometimes; I've got three lovely children (5, 3 and 1) and yet I got to the point where I was screaming at them regularly. Ok so in my "defence" it's the holidays, they fight and wind each other up constantly, I get very bad PMT.

But on the other hand, my horrible, abusive mother used to shout and scream at me, everything was my fault, and she would end saying things like "you should be ashamed" ... "You are a horrible bitch that no one likes" etc etc (things that to this day still affect me).

Now I never got that far with my own DC of course; they are all so loved and wanted. But I was terrified I'd turn into her. So after having a horrible day last Thursday, I vowed to stop shouting. They will still be disciplined if naughty, of course - with the Silly Step or toy confiscation etc - but I won't take out my own frustrations on them.

It's the third day, they're all asleep and I haven't shouted since that Thursday. I never thought I'd be able to do this, really hope I can keep it up. If I can, they may never remember the awful screeching mum they used to have.

Anybody else managed to stop?

Buffers I find the same - positive praise is good when I'm calm enough to use it.

I'm currently reading Peaceful Parent Happy Kids by the AHA Parenting woman. She says you need to look after yourself so you can look after your kids, and I'm sure that's true. Need to work on that!

Liberal he's 5. We had a good day yesterday and a nice (albeit very lazy) day today.

It all just feels so random sometimes. I can never tell whether it will be a day when he will listen and be smiley, or be grumpy and angry but I guess that's just life

Hi all. It has been a few days since I last posted. I'm trying harder.

I got my Mindfulness book and am trying to calm myself down in general. It is working. I was getting in a tizzy over toddler making a mess with her dinner. (Painting the chairs with milk.) I think too much about a million future scenarios and get upset more about them. For example "she will never learn manners / the baby will never be fed if I'm cleaning up / this will happen every meal time, etc etc"

Manda I need time alone frequently. To recharge my batteries. DH spotted me getting ratty with DDs yesterday and suggested i go out for a walk myself. I felt great after it. Much more able to laugh at their antics then.

Master you sound like me. I love time to myself and it's very scarce. When I have periods of not having any then my patience really suffers. Chick in any pmt/hormone surges and basically I'm a coiled spring.

We had a better day today. I'm also trying to be more mindful... Things went slightly to pot around getting out of the door to school and getting ready for bed. DS1 will wander around with one shoe/half his PJs on and the other in his hand for ages without putting them on because he gets distracted.

Any tips on keeping him focused without anybody losing their temper??

Just found this thread, don't have time to read through but am marking place. I shouted at ds today, first time ever, and felt awful. It's his 2nd birthday tomorrow!! My little baby. And I shouted at him. Guilt!

Will read through when I get the chance.

Blue how old is your DS?

I'm placemarking for a read in the morning, hoping to pick up some tips - dd1 is full of attitude lately & I've been quite shouty :(

Bingo - he's 7...

How about setting a timer for him. If he completes in time he can choose something out of the lucky dip which ha essentially a bag full of pocket money value type toys so sort of instant gratification. Or does he like stickers? Three stickers and he gets a lucky dip?

Inspired by this thread. How's it going, OP?

notjustcute.com/2014/09/10/six-ways-youre-unintentionally-telling-kids-not-to-listen/

Hi. You have all inspired me to try this. Have been wanting to for ages. Got through this morning with no shouting at all. Getting ready for school is a flash point usually.

That's a really useful article, thanks Bingo. I think a timer is good with both boys actually, although beating the time is usually its own reward.

Things I need to work on: not beating myself up
making sure my expectations are actually age-appropriate for the boys

You're welcome Blue.

Hello Nelly.

Well I've gone radical. Eldest child has turned into a right wotsit so I've gone radical and turned the TV off. No TV allowed outside designated times. No technology use either.

QuickKids app is quite good for a handy timer

Today has been stressful. Children overtired. Need to try harder to remain zen like.

How do you all cope with being ignored?

Bingo I make them repeat back what I have said if I think they're ignoring me. If it's an instruction they're ignoring then I always add the proviso that they have to the count of 3 then I'm removing whatever it is they're focusing on instead of listening to me eg cartoon, tablet.

Bugger. I've shouted today. Loudly. Amongst about a hundred other things, Ds2 has just been on the rampage breaking things and generally being a real PITT. Ds1 told me I was rude when he rang from park asking if he could stay later and I said no then hung up as ds2 was in the middle of the mother of all tantrums. Ds2 wouldn't eat his tea for some unknown reason and it was chucked everywhere. I lost it and shouted then cried a lot. So disappointed in myself. Feel like a complete failure sometimes. Both boys have given me a cuddle.

Ive had all three children go down with vomiting bug over the past week so 3 nights out of 5 I had very little sleep. So, my excuse for being Bitch-Mother and resuming my shouting has been blamed squarely on tiredness. Today I'm going to try a bit harder.

Oh dear buffers. Hope they are all a bit better now and you can get some sleep. I havent shouted for two days but I suspect thats because I've been at work