Things you don't say to a woman with a new baby

[IShallCallYouSquishy]

I have a 21month DD and a newborn DS. DH runs his own company so had to go back to work on Tuesday so been a tough few days. A couple of corkers today made me wonder what gems other people have had said to them. Mine so far....


DMum the day after I had DS: oh DD probably thinks the baby is still in there (looking at my stomach)

DFIL today (DS is 8 days old):you look tired

DH today: you know you had a little sleep this morning and i took DD out, I was thinking of going out on my bike if it stays sunny. (I had about 3 hours sleep due to BFing DS most the night!)

Yes ok, my hormones are a bit all over the place but surely none of the above are acceptable!

[BranchingOut]

Posted a funny one to make up for some of the very sad ones. Wonders how people can be so tactless at times....:(

[mathsmum]

after a horrendous pregnancy, with weeks spent in hospital, i had, unsurprisingly, a C-section. after the first half-dozen folk who said it, i'm afraid my reply to 'oh - weren't you disappointed to have a caesarian' was 'oh yes - i'd always wanted a brain-damaged child and a fistula'

[SoleSource]

LOL Branching. Classic

[SoleSource]

Consultant after I gave birth looked ay my CS stitches and said, "You'll never wear a bikini anyway, it doesn't matter that the muscles are now lop sided". Cunt.

[weasle]

My mother: 'That's a disgusting name, I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone.' And ranted in a similar vein for nearly an hour. On day 2 post birth. Our relationship has never recovered

[Cathcuzz]

My Nan has come out with a few classics following the birth of my DS 3 months ago. My favourites so far are " oh, what a shame you haven't been able to give your parents a granddaughter" (my sister has two boys) and "oh, you must have another one, I've known so many women who've had only children who have died and left the mothers with nothing". This gem was three days after I'd given birth. Thanks Nan.

[Chesterado]

"I think I only got about nine hours sleep last night" . Really FIL? How tactful of you to share that with me 4 months in to reflux baby sleep deprivation hell.

[BaronVonShush]

WTFuck? At some of these. Unbelievable that people can be so crass and insensitive sometimes.

DH said to me the day before the six weeks EmCS recovery was up: when were you planning on doing some hoovering?
Errrrr

[kelper]

cathcuzz an elderly friend of DHs said the exact same thing about DS and he's an only child

[TheArmadillo]

Lol @ branchingout

That cheered me up on a miserable evening

[Queenmarigold]

Dmum, two days after I had twins: 'we'll you're doing a lot of lounging around, you won't lose weight that way' Wtf I just have birth twice in Fifteen minutes woman!

[LJBanana]

Said in the next room with the door open (MIL) 'I don't think she should be BFeeding' she looks so tired!

[TheOneWithTheHair]

Dcs all went full term. Birthweights 5lb 1, 6lb 9 and 6lb 3.

Just after dc3 was born my mum asked me, "How come you make such small babies? There must be something wrong with them."

Ds1 was 12yo at the time and dd was 5yo. None of my children has had any post birth health issues.

[zoemaguire]

'do you think dd1 was so small because you were really stressed when you were pregnant with her?' MIL...

[Quinteszilla]

My dear dear lovely husband, who went to India for 3 months with work, when ds1 was just 5 months old, and came back for Christmas to an 8/9 month old and said:

"oh, but but, he is so small still, I imagined he would be walking, and look like, you know, school age."

[Bostonpancake]

Midwife flinging curtains open next to my bed on ward after having had an EMCS the night before and being moved from recovery to ward at about 5 am, still on drip, still wearing catheter 'RISE AND SHINE, you better get used to early starts!'

She then proceeded to tell me off for not pre ordering my breakfast (would've been hard from the operating theatre) and said I'd need to go through to the day room to get any leftovers. I was almost in tears when the cleaner saw me and brought me through some cornflakes and a cup of tea.

[CruCru]

I got chatting to a woman and her Mum on a ferry while holding my 5 mo DS. They were pretty nice until the mum patted my stomach and said "Oh, you're expecting another". I had to tell her I wasn't, I just hadn't pinged back.

[YourDaughterHasaTattoo]

At 6 week check following birth of DS, doctors tells me all is fine. Then he nods at my stomach and says "now all you need to do is get rid of that". Least of my worries following a 30hr labour and EMCS!

[hopefulgum]

MIL, the day after DS1 was born, looking at my belly:"I was wearing my pre-pregnancy jeans when I left the hospital with my babies. I suppose being a farmer has given me extra strong stomach muscles". Thanks so much for pointing that out.

When I was experiencing post natal depression, and I finally had the courage to mention it to her, she replied,"I suppose some women just don't enjoy babies like I did. I loved every minute. Perhaps you need to give it more time." I think DS was about 4 months old (I know the thread is about newborns, but I am on a roll now). After that I didn't tell anyone else how I was feeling and suffered terribly for a long time.

Another clanger, when I was in the supermarket and my last DS was now a toddler, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen since the baby was small. He remarked, ' I see you have recovered then?" I wondered what from, so I asked. He said, "well, you look so much better than when the baby was little". Ohh.. thanks so much for the compliment

I can't tell you how many times ( I have had 5 kids) I have had that stupid comment about expecting another baby, when in fact I had a post-baby tummy. Does my head in that people are so stupid.

[YolandiFuckinVisser]

Poor little thing, he's starving, your milk obviously isn't enough for him, you should get him a dummy and coat it in sugar. That'll shut him up for a bit!

[LottyLikesWindows]

Today at the 8 week check my doctor stated that : "well those stretch marks will never go away but at least you don't have diastasis recti". Hmmm every cloud. I'll just go and weep all over my angry, purple stretch marks now...

[Crazyhours]

Day after my son was born, my father comes to the hospital to visit us, looks down at my tummy and says "you sure you haven't got another one in there?"

Thanks, Dad

Haven't read the whole thread but I bet I'm not the only one who has been asked this!

[Catrin]

I, depressingly have tons. 2 of the finest were from my (now ex) H...

• got home 4 days after CS with teeny dd. It was a Friday. Sunday he decided he would forgo the extra week paternity leave "'Cos it's boring just hanging around doing nothing"
  

• my mother rang about day 8 to inform me H had rung to tell her I had 'gone mental' and kept moaning.

[LottyLikesWindows]

Catrin, that is disgraceful! You poor woman
Glad to hear he's now your ex.