Things you don't say to a woman with a new baby

[IShallCallYouSquishy]

I have a 21month DD and a newborn DS. DH runs his own company so had to go back to work on Tuesday so been a tough few days. A couple of corkers today made me wonder what gems other people have had said to them. Mine so far....


DMum the day after I had DS: oh DD probably thinks the baby is still in there (looking at my stomach)

DFIL today (DS is 8 days old):you look tired

DH today: you know you had a little sleep this morning and i took DD out, I was thinking of going out on my bike if it stays sunny. (I had about 3 hours sleep due to BFing DS most the night!)

Yes ok, my hormones are a bit all over the place but surely none of the above are acceptable!

[Chelvis]

arms? weird autocorrect! *ankles

[KristinaM]

Calm -wow, I can't understand why he's your ex, he sounds a charmer

[FetenFirstTimeMum]

DH was kind enough to cancel the cinema cards before the birth of DD. He knew they won't see the sun light for a while :)

[vladthedisorganised]

"You shouldn't cover up, I love watching mothers feed their babies, it's so magical!"

Er, my choice, I think? I feel the cold, it's January and I get creeped out by people watching my norks.

"Should you be eating that?"

[jabbsy]

i like this thread. sorry if theres a more up to date one and i shouldnt be posting here...

DP on me having SPD at 30 weeks;

you're just milking it because you dont want to go to work (im currently working from home rather than being signed off completely)

want to make me a coffee, ive been at work all day

[Electroswing]

'She needs to get over it. I'm family' (non-D M to my brother, whom she's asked why I was asking guests to stay at the local B n B rather than our house. There was no spare bedroom at our house, DH and I were trying to get to grips with a newborn on 5 hours sleep per night, and I was getting up in the small hours to BF. But yeah, I should just get over it and make up a camp bed. NB: she insisted on staying at our house, turned up empty-handed, allowed me to cook for her and was ratty about the poor sleep. Awesome.)

My lovely DB said 'So, apart from the baby and house stuff, what else are you doing?' He doesn't have kids

The next person to say 'Enjoy every minute!' is going to get clocked. I presume their kids are old enough that they've edited out all the sleep deprivation and complete lack of an adult life. I will enjoy some minutes, people. No-one enjoys all of them.

[FlossyMcTrumpetson]

Old lady in street looking at my baby: "Ah she's beautiful, I presume her father must be VERY good looking"
Presumably to overcompensate for how awful I look then, lady?!

[jabbsy]

mother on meeting grandchild for the first time
(this is my first child, would be my dads first grandchild if he was alive / but is her 6th grandchild, i live abroad)

:cant you come to me when its born, i dont want to get a flight or take the train.
:no mum, im not travelling with a newborn til i know what im doing/at least 6months
:ok, well just make sure you have skype set up then

shes a pain in the arse anyway. am trying not to be bothered, but i am quite bothered underneath the bravado....

[PennyJennyPie]

From the lady bringing me to the post natal ward 4 hours ( yes) post partum: you need to do some exercises for the tummy.

[Chips1999]

I'll never forget FIL asking if my tummy was "normal" as it was so big....

[sunflowered]

Not strictly a newborn quote, but mil after my 6 week battle with breastfeeding:
"well, now you know how easy it is you'll be fine next time"

[inamaymaybewrong]

When are you due?