Things you don't say to a woman with a new baby

[IShallCallYouSquishy]

I have a 21month DD and a newborn DS. DH runs his own company so had to go back to work on Tuesday so been a tough few days. A couple of corkers today made me wonder what gems other people have had said to them. Mine so far....


DMum the day after I had DS: oh DD probably thinks the baby is still in there (looking at my stomach)

DFIL today (DS is 8 days old):you look tired

DH today: you know you had a little sleep this morning and i took DD out, I was thinking of going out on my bike if it stays sunny. (I had about 3 hours sleep due to BFing DS most the night!)

Yes ok, my hormones are a bit all over the place but surely none of the above are acceptable!

[VeggySausage]

Penguins that's good, sorry if I was out of line! It makes sense that she would be suffering too, you're probably just a much nicer person than me :)

[stitchedupbelow]

"Do you think you'll be able to make my hen do next weekend?" Er, no.

[puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE]

What a lovely blanket cracked me right up

[OurMiracle1106]

Have you lost a little weight?
You blossomed while pregnant, why don't you look so healthy now.
You should feel lucky you were only in labour 46 hours. I know someone who went days

[JadeMonkey]

"Enjoy every minute, it goes so fast..."

"Just sleep when she does, hasn't anyone told you that?"

"You think this is hard, just you wait 'til she's a teenager!"

I had a 2-week-old who fed for up to an hour every 2 hours through the night and slept hardly at all in the day. I looked like death warmed over then frozen again and beaten round the head with a blunt instrument. I'm surprised I didn't burst into tears at the teenager comment, but it was from a stranger in a supermarket so I just smiled! (Should have cried, in hindsight.)

[TwirlyCat]

FIL visiting 48hrs after giving birth. I was in agony with a badly healing episitomy, and very tearful after a labour which didn't go to plan.

FIL: were you 'a screamer' giving birth then?
Me: I don't want to talk about it
FIL: But were you a screamer?
Me: I'm not going to talk about it.
FIL: but were you a screamer?! I don't know why women complain about having sex when you consider the size of a baby, hahahaha!!!
Me: excuse me. (Went and cried in kitchen)

[ListenToTheLady]

OMG Twirlycat!! He was lucky not to get punched in the face!

[rubyflipper]

DH: 'have you read any good books lately?' What he thought I'd been doing with a newborn, I'll never know.

Horrid friend of my mum's who grabbed my post-partum stomach and said 'Now, you'll have to get rid of that, won't you?' .

The look of disbelief on vile SIL's face when I mentioned that I had switched to formula because there wasn't enough milk and DS was losing weight.

[impatienceisavirtue]

I had had CS with DS3. I was going through a horrific time with a really awful revelation the night before the birth. I felt like utter shit.

Having had DS3, I got changed the next day, into normal clothes. I felt pretty good for about two minutes that I could get into (albeit a larger size than normal) my pre preg clothes. I walk in and my uncle who was visiting announced loudly "wow, you're still fat!' Bearing in mind my normal clothes are a 10 and these were a 12, and that is besides the point as this was inappropriate even if I had not just given birth.


I have never forgiven him tbh, as petty as it is. It was meant to be hurtful, as he says these thing often and has an unhealthy obsession with weight.

[JustLetMeSleep]

"I'm so tired, the tube was all messed up, it's taken me HOURS to get across London to see you."

Tired? Really? Tired?

[Squiglettsmummy2bx]

After a. 52 hour labour & EMCS in the middle of the night exmil visited me in hospital (14 hours after birth) & told me I really needed to get exercising & lose weight now. I asked her if I should go to the maternity units gym now? Oh they don't have one , wonder why?

[missnevermind]

Not newborn. Because DC4 was 4 month old by the time MIL came to visit. But.
Can she tell the time yet
WTF

[Figster]

You've called them what???????

[MarlenaGru]

My favourites were my child-free sister would visit and complain she was tired. My DD slept for maximum two hours day or night and I was EBF!

[BagOfBags]

DS wasn't overly big but his head was on the 95th percentile at birth. I had a very long labour & difficult birth. I've lost count of the no of people (friends, relatives, midwives, cleaners, even the bloody Bounty lady) who wanted to tell me that my next baby would probably be bigger and the birth could be even more difficult! Even 2.8 years later there is not going to be another baby!!!

[SomethingkindaOod]

Heard loads over the years. My friend had a doozy a while back though. She has 4, not one of them under 9lbs and they got progressively bigger (my godson was 11lb). We were Chatting to an old friend who isn't known for tact and somehow got onto baby weight, he comes out with 'God I bet you're like a wizard's sleeve down there!'.. We were all sat there like !
I got "are you putting the kettle on?" When all of my IL's turned up en mass 2 days after I came home, took up all of the seating, all refused to move and proceeded to comment of the state of the carpet. I went to bed and left them to it.
MIL "oh you're not BFing this one either? Such a Shame, XXX (SIL) has manged it so well"
I could go on..

[70isaLimitNotaTarget]

About 3 weeks before I had DC2 (who was an 8 and a half pounder) and carriedall out the front, I took our cat to the vet.

Vet : "There aren't any DC in my family but you seem very big "

This from a person who dealt with large pg animals - cows, horses
I was in size 12 trackie bottoms

[bumpsparkle]

I'm with you slightlydampwellies people should think before they open their mouths. My dd is 20 months and i have been 5:2ing and exercising loads, lost almost two stone and a few inches off my waist and one of the not slim mums at my ds's school asked me how many months i was! Was devastated, i would never ask that question unless absolutely sure!

[YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar]

From Mil. "Why are you holding him on your knee like that? Is it because your belly is so big?

From DM "I'm here to help. Hand her over, I'll feed her. You go and make me a coffee and a sandwich"

DM again " don't sit around like that. Take some pride in your appearance. Don't have your husband coming home to you like that. Look good for him. "

[doorkeeper]

IShallCallYouSquishy I won't lie, the "bike ride" comment would have had me throwing things.

Every parent is entitled to some me time, but it's got to be equal, and leaving you with two tinies and no sleep is not on!

[doorkeeper]

SlightlyDampWellies I've still got one, and my kid has started secondary school. It was a shock getting used to a completely different body than I had pre-preg, but I'm more or less resigned, now.

[PurpleSproutingBroccoli]

"Of course, Purple took the eeaassy option." Older sister, nodding knowingly at other family members. The easy option being undiagnosed breech, failed vaginal delivery, foetal distress and EMCS.

[KristinaM]

In pharmacy with new born baby in buggy. Trying to buy throat lozenges. Assistant takes them from me and says " I'll need to check with the pharmacist "

Yells across shop " can she take these when she's pregnant"

[Purplehonesty]

Wow you still look really big - did thy leave something in there?
Looking at you dh....

[southbank]

About 8 weeks after I returned back to work full time I had 2 weeks holiday.
'holiday?again?' said my mum
'erm,again?my last holiday was last year?' I said
'you've just had a year off work' she said

Sorry I thought I was on mat leave with twins,I didn't realise I was on one big bloody holiday from work.
And I didn't have a bloody year off either,another thing that having twins meant we couldn't afford to do.