Things you don't say to a woman with a new baby

[IShallCallYouSquishy]

I have a 21month DD and a newborn DS. DH runs his own company so had to go back to work on Tuesday so been a tough few days. A couple of corkers today made me wonder what gems other people have had said to them. Mine so far....


DMum the day after I had DS: oh DD probably thinks the baby is still in there (looking at my stomach)

DFIL today (DS is 8 days old):you look tired

DH today: you know you had a little sleep this morning and i took DD out, I was thinking of going out on my bike if it stays sunny. (I had about 3 hours sleep due to BFing DS most the night!)

Yes ok, my hormones are a bit all over the place but surely none of the above are acceptable!

[toospottytofly]

Urgh ... you're breastfeeding ... that's DISGURRRSTING!

The kitchen table needs a wipe.

Where's my cup of coffee?

(All MIL at 2.5 days old)

Give him to my daughter, I want my photo and she's photogenic.

(MIL at 4 weeks old)
Not bitter at all.

[purplemurple1]

bootsycollins at my sisters wedding I was asked if I was her mother - there's less than 3yrs between us!

Back to the thread - I had someone I don't know call the house to ask if I needed winter clothes for the baby as he was dressed in so little when I was out with him and he was so small - he was 4 weeks old, in 3 layers plus blankets and it was about plus 15degrees - if anything he was over dressed. It has made me parainiod to the point he gets heat rash sometimes now when he goes out even though its minus 20.

[KaFayOLay]

" Ooh, what a lovely blanket" upon first meeting baby.

Okay yes, he wasn't a pretty baby but I'm sure they could've thought of something to say about him.

Not my child, or me who said it!

[PenguindreamsofDraco]

My mother suggested I start doing stomach crunches. On day 3. When I was still in hospital after a 3 litre PPH. And was still on intravenous antibiotics with a cannula in my hand.
Oh, and my son was in NICU having arrived at 26w, and his twin was stillborn.
She still maintains she didn't mean it 'like that'
She is lovely really

[mummytowillow]

From in laws and my mother ..

After C section FIL said 'you look a bit rough'!

My mother after watching me trying to breastfeed and I was in tears 'give her a bottle, no baby ever died from a bottle'! God I wanted to slap her, it was day 6 and I really wanted to BF so that wasn't helpful. I did give formula eventually but I could still cry now how hard I found BF

[ListenToTheLady]

"How do you think I feel, you get to have a baby, the exact same week my flatmate went on holiday with his dog so I've got no dog." (from my sister, yes there are a few ishooos) (she also gave me We Need to Talk About Kevin for my birthday when I was expecting my DS!)

"Ah, treasure these precious early days, they pass so quickly!" (meant well I know, but I was thinking WTF!!!??? It gets worse!?)

"OMG your baby is a GIANT! No wonder you were so huge!"

[mummytowillow]

Just thought of another one from my mother.

When she met DD she said 'why did you choose xxxx name, I prefer her middle name'.

Oh and I was cruel for using washable nappies!

[VeggySausage]

Penguins :(

She doesn't sound lovely

[AndTwoBits]

"Is she having triplets?" Said by two old biddies down the road to my other, lovely neighbour. I feckin knew they had been talking about me when i waddled past!!

[zoemaguire]

My mum, usually lovely, telling me my legs needed shaving as I was lying in hospital in labour at 26 weeks. Yeah, cause the state of my legs is clearly my primary concern right now .

And again when I told her our choice of name 'oh I quite like the first name but I don't like her middle name, I thought it was going to be x instead. Um, I wasn't asking for your opinion, I was telling you! Reminded me that in future if dcs want to call their child Gertrude trixibelle I shall still smile, nod and say 'what a beautiful name!'.

[LimeLelloLizard]

"10lb?!!!! Did you tear?"

from a school gate mum.

[PenguindreamsofDraco]

Veggy, to be fair, I think she was in shock too. It was 3 years ago, and she has more than made up for a moment's crass stupidity

[awaynboilyurheid]

From a neighbour about my second daughter, oh yes I thought she would be a good size because you were enormous weren't you!

[bootsycollins]

I've been described as the biggest pregnant woman ever seen as well as this jem from an elderly neighbour " Oooooh we thought you were having a grand piano"

[anothernumberone]

The last comment I can't see a problem. He works and wants to have a bike ride as a bit of a relax and 'me' time. Why would you resent him that

Mumsnet gold

[SlightlyDampWellies]

Oh, I still have a baby tum and a few weeks ago someone congratulated me and asked when I was due. I replied 'three and a half years ago'.

Then went home and cried.

People should just fuck off with any personal body-focused comments of any sort.

[Mrswellyboot]

:( dampwellies. That is awful. Stupid thing to say,

[SlightlyDampWellies]

I'm okay now, but it does hurt. I have always carried weight around my middle.

I am however massively cheered up to see I have a Wellie/Welly buddy! :)

[legoplayingmumsunite]

My Mum was the worst after DS was born prematurely. We were still in hospital with an undiagnosed issue and I got a great long phonecall from her telling me that I shouldn't be so demanding about wanting DH with me because the girls needed him as well. He had been with me during evening visiting hours the night before after the girls had gone to bed and Mum was babysitting... Thankfully a lovely MW came to see me not long after that phonecall and was so sweet and asked all about how I was coping because (as she said) when you are in paediatrics the doctors tend to concentrate on the baby and forget there is a mother recovering from a dramatic birth.

[Florabeebaby]

DD was born prematurely at 32 weeks. When I saw a colleague (DD was 7 weeks old but only 2nd week at home with us) she said 'Oh, and all this trouble because you were worrying about the weather!!'
(my parents were due to fly to the UK in the 2010 snowstorm and I mentioned I wasn't sure if they could make it)
However, I had a severe case of PTSD setting in and horrendous guilt...it just felt so so bad at the time.

[GingerMaman]

Benefits of breastfeeding.

[Florabeebaby]

DD was born prematurely at 32 weeks. When I saw a colleague (DD was 7 weeks old but only 2nd week at home with us) she said 'Oh, and all this trouble because you were worrying about the weather!!'
(my parents were due to fly to the UK in the 2010 snowstorm and I mentioned I wasn't sure if they could make it)
However, I had a severe case of PTSD setting in and horrendous guilt...it just felt so so bad at the time.

[Thrillybumsmum]

Nurse checking my stitched up perineum "well you were never going to win any beauty contests ..."

[TheFallenMadonna]

What not to say to your labouring wife, pushing out a 9.10 baby, no pain relief, "I can't, I can't, you're always so negative.. "

[rabbitlady]

"you'll be wanting to get your figure back now."
neighbour man, friend of husband. three days after giving birth.

i didn't say anything. but i was thinking "no! i have to keep this baby alive!"